Eternal Souls
by Katraa
Summary: With Mithos gone, Yuan and Kratos can go on living freely. Yet Yuan is becoming more attached to Kratos. But with all the plot twists, will the two remain loyal? [YuiexKratos] [COAA] [Spoilers] [COMPLETE As Of Dec.9]
1. Chapter 1: Being Another

**Thanks so much for the inspiration Origin :) It's really funny, but I never thought I'd be writing it so soon. Anyways, I'd also like to thank random tv shows and erm, my cat. Yes my cat inspires me. Ok, I also would like to say this. Shoot me, and or kill me if I put Drew Carey in this x3 I am so serious, I think I'v got addicted to him.And you know that I put Drew Carey at Mohegan Sun? Well guess what! I was looking at the newspaper and it said DREW CAREY was going to MOHEGAN SUN! I died laughing. My gosh, am I physic or what! If you don't believe, I'll scan the newspaper! I am so dead serious! I must get tickets to see his show! x3**

**And you're all proabbly going to kill me for starting this new story when Sabbitical and Our Hearts Cross are just sitting there...

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_We'll follow the rainbow  
Wherever the four winds blow  
And there'll be a new day  
Comin' your way  
I'm gonna be here for you from now on  
This you know somehow  
You've been stretched to the limits but it's alright now_

_And I'm gonna make you a promise  
If there's life after this  
I'm gonna be there to meet you with a warm, wet kiss_

_And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you  
And I'll earn your trust makin memories of us  
And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you  
And I'll win your trust makin memories of us

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_

**Eternal Souls  
**Chapter One: You do know?  
Yuan POV

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"Yuan,"

It was early afternoon. I felt oddly warm under my covers, which usually never provided much warmth. Had I overslept? Either way, the comfort of my own bedroom cast away any thoughts of oversleeping. I kept my eyes tightly shut, and attempted to drift back into a light slumber. But before I could even drift of into random thoughts, I was poked again.

"Yuan get up, come on,"

I twitched uneasily, and shot up a barrier around me. Of course I knew it was Kratos. After all these thousands of years he still found pleasure in waking me up every morning. It was his routine, as I always called it. But I didn't mind anything he did, as long as he was here.

"What if I don't want to?" I yawned, letting down the barrier and rolled over. I cracked open and eye and starred up at Kratos, clenching my blankets tightly. Kratos crouched down and starred at me face to face.

"Now don't start with that Yuan, you've been sleeping all day, and it's unheathly," He warned. Every time he spoke I could feel his breath. He found pleasure in the most oddest things. But he didn't take his eyes off me. Squinting my eyes, I yawned and starred back at Kratos.

"Since when did you care if I overslept?" I asked coldly. Kratos still didn't take his eyes off me. What was his thinking? Sometimes I wished I could read his mind. I shut my eyes once more, but Kratos poked my face. That was odd, even for him.

"Ow! Why did you do that?" I snapped opening my eyes. I clenched the blankets even tighter as I watched the seraphim. Only a slight chuckle came in reply from him. Laughter? What did he find so amusing?

"We have our whole lives to sleep," Kratos spoke. What did he mean by that? Sometimes he used so many riddles I couldn't even understand the simplest things he tried to tell me. Though lately I found it was much easier to talk to each other. It was a bond I was becoming obsessed with. But after that kiss so many years ago, we hadn't have had shared a 'real moment'. That was so annoying in my mind, I wanted to be close to him. And sometimes that scared me.

"What, were you planning on something?" I asked, darting around the subject. For some reason Kratos laughed, face still right near mine. What the heck was he on? Either he wanted to do something, or he was just being stubborn as hell. I was betting my gald on the last one.

"Humph," Kratos grinned. He usually played around with his expressions. It was hard to read him, he usually never showed his emotions, I envied him for his strong will and cool-head. Kratos tilted his head, as if he wanted me to reply. But what was there to reply to, honestly?

"Actually, I was going to have Lloyd stop by," Kratos chimed. Those sudden words sent me straight upwards in shock. Did he just say he was having Lloyd over! Well he was his son after all, but so sudden? Ugh, I just wanted to be alone with Kratos. Did that sound selfish?

"Lloyd! When?" I asked, getting off the bed and walked over to my bureau. In the mirror, I could see Kratos staring at me. He got up and walked over behind me.

"Does this dis comfort you Yuan?" Kratos asked. Dis-comfort? Why would Lloyd dis comfort me? What was Kratos talking about. I had no clue what his real intentions were. But to think I would be dis-comforted with his son coming over? Did he really think I hated Lloyd that much?

"Of course not," I replied, mind drifting off. I grabbed my comb and brushed my hair back into it's usual position. Kratos placed a hand on my shoulder awkwardly.

"Just checking," He spoke, almost in a song, and left my room. I just held the brush, what was Kratos thinking? Pushing Kratos out of my mind momentarily, I went into the bathroom to spruce up. After I had done my 'dailies' I walked down to the kitchen. Kratos was looking out the window.

"What is he coming now?" I asked casually. Kratos looked over, as if he hadn't seen me enter. He nodded slightly, and went back to gazing out the window. Giving an expressionless sigh, I sat down and grabbed my mug and starred at the table. It was only a few minutes until Kratos gave the look that Lloyd had arrived.

"I'll be um, avoiding the two of you," I suggested. Kratos looked over at me and walked over. He tilted his head and then a kiss was melted between us.

"Don't be stupid Yuan, I'm sure he'll be at least, content to see you," Kratos spoke, smiling. He left to the door and left me standing there. I smirked slightly tuning out everything and drifted off into thoughts. I sat down and yawned, and waited for Kratos to bring his son into the room.

"Dad!" I heard Lloyd spoke happily. I could tell Kratos was overly thrilled. It was good to see Kratos so happy to be reuinted with his son after these past months. The two Aurion's walked into the kitchen. I kept my head low uneasily, I doubted Lloyd had known that we were living together. And even more so I doubted that he knew of our feelings, feelings towards each other.

"Dad, why is Yuan," He began. I looked upward, almost in a trance when my name was called. Lloyd seemed stunned, but confused at why I was here. Shifting glances from his father to me, I could only sigh. I had no fake excuses to come up with.

"If you want to ask me something, I suggest you address me," I spoke bitterly. I wasn't one to bond with Kratos' son. He was a reflection of the darkest point in Kratos' and our lives when he felt he couldn't reveal to me what was bothering him. And another point was that Lloyd was naive, naive beyond ignorance.

"Why are you here then?" Lloyd asked. Kratos looked at me from behind his son. Attempting to tell me something, I just couldn't make out what it was. I glanced up at the brunette swordsman and flickered a look of amusement.

"That is for me to know," I replied, skipping around the question. Thinking for a moment, Lloyd shrugged, I could tell he felt akward. I was one of the reasons Kratos didn't go along with Lloyd on his journey, and I was starting to think Lloyd was seeing that.

"Lloyd, how has your journey been going?" I silently thanked Kratos who had changed the subject. Only an averted glance showed he had saw that I appreciated his gesture. Lloyd looked back at his father, now starting to forget I was even there.

"Great! So far we've collected hundreds of exsphere, soon all those lives lost can finally rest in peace," Lloyd spoke with a slight content look. Hundreds Of Exspheres? But still, I doubted he had even collected a fragment of all the exspheres out there, although he had collected a large amount so far.

"That's good news," Kratos replied cooly. I shifted uneasily as Kratos looked back over at me. How would I slip away from this conversation. In my mind I thought of reasons to escape.

"I'll be outside with Noishe," I spoke trying not to stutter. Kratos nodded but Lloyd seemed utterly confused with our motives. I walked out the door and sighed. This was such a nuisance.

"Heh," I sighed and sat down on the bench outside near the river. It was such a n ice day until Lloyd came. Did Kratos really think I approved of the double swordsman? It made no sense whatsoever. I had always used Lloyd as a tool against Kratos, but they never saw it that way. Never once did.

"Yuan?" I tilted my head to hear who had said my name. It wasn't long until I realized Kratos had followed me outside. He was standing at the door, looking over at me, as he usually did. I closed me eyes and just thought for a few moments on what to say.

"What do you want? I thought you were with your son?" I asked bitterly. I hadn't have meant to say it so, crudely, but it was just the way I felt. Lately it seemed his son was more important then me. Which I could understand, he was his son after all.

"Yuan, stop acting like this," Kratos replied, without emotion. Stop what? What was I doing that Kratos so earnestly wanted me to stop? I sighed and glanced over at the auburn haired angel, with defiance in my eyes.

"Stop? Stop acting like what?" I asked, with a hint of amusement. I could tell Kratos had picked up on my comment. Sighing, he walked over and sat down next to me, with what seemed like an annoyed attitude? Why was he annoyed with me when I should be the one annoyed with him!

"Ever since I told you Lloyd was coming over you've acted shallow towards both of us, is something troubling you?" He asked. Troubling me? Ha! Of course something was bothering me. I didn't like Kratos thinking of anything but me, as strange as it sounded. But of course, I doubted I should tell him how much I felt for him. As it stood, he just thought we had feelings for each other. Not the type I was feeling. That thought made my stomach sick as I glared back at Kratos.

"Shallow? Nah. Nothing it bothering me! You're overeating," I spoke, trying to sound sharp and care-free, but of course, lying and acting wasn't my strong suit. Glancing over to see what Kratos replied with, I could only see the faintest amusement in his ruby eyes.

"You know you can tell me," He spoke softly. Tell him? When his son was here? That'd be suicude of the worst kind! Yea, convince your feelings have grown even stronger towards him when his son is waltzing around who has no idea of any of this.

"I'm not going to say anything while Lloyd is here," I spoke harshly. It was true, I didn't want Lloyd to know anything of this. He was just a pesky fly that wouldn't take a hint and leave. Why couldn't he make like a tree and freakin leaf? I felt sick to my stomach once more.

"Lloyd won't care," Kratos spoke, trying to sound reassuring. Sure thing Kratos. Lloyd wouldn't care to find out his father and worst enemy were in love. Gosh, was Kratos this dense or was he just trying to make me feel better? Either way, he wa failing. Failing miserably.

"I'm sure he wouldn't," I replied. insensitively to Kratos. He seemed stunned at my response. What was there to be stunned about? He knew I always kept my thoughts and feelings locked up in my mind. A duh.

"Come on now Yuan, everything will be fine. Things will be better what he leaves, promise," With that promise he extended a hand and placed it on my shoulder. Things will be better? What was he getting at. Things would be better. Was that some kind of riddle Kratos was tricking me with. I just couldn't pry at it. I tilted my head and sighed helplessly.

"I hope so," I replied bluntly. I wasn't in such a joyous mood, and I could tell Kratos knew that. Without another regard towards my thoughts, he gave a modest smile, as if he had said too much, then got up and left back inside, leaving me once again alone, without an invention to come back in.

With a sigh that held a bit of anguish, I closed my eyes and drifted into thoughts. Thoughts about us.

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**Author's Note:**

**First chapter is basically short. I ran out of ideas. The next chapter will be more, I don't know, longer and more detailed. And Lloyd will walk in on something he never thought would happen, What do I mean? Only Origin knows x3! Please Review! And the song at the top is by Keith Urban. **


	2. Chapter 2: Crimson Truth

**Also, I DO NOT SUPPORT KRAINE! THERE IS NO KRAINE IN THIS STORY O.o And let me warn you all, the next chapters get sad. I've already written them but I need an excuse to go on my other computer to upload x) And I will try my best to get the next chapter up, erm soon.  
**

"Kratos, where did you go?" Lloyd asked, as inquisitive as he always was. Kratos glanced over at Lloyd, as if to apologize for his mind array from the conversation.

"Just outside for a few moments to check on Noishe," Kratos replied coolly. Looking down at the table, his expression showed he was having deep thoughts and wasn't much in a talking mood.. Lloyd gave a sigh as he looked at his father with concern.

"What's wrong?" Lloyd asked softly. Raising his head, he glanced at Lloyd, his eyes filled with confusion and an odd look. Taking a step back, Lloyd fixed his glance back on the door where I had left from.

"Dad, answer me, why is Yuan here?" He asked uneasily. Looking a bit afraid, Kratos cleared his world and looked down awkwardly.

"I can't tell you," He muttered. Lloyd seemed enormously shocked at Kratos' reply. Kratos had always give reasons why he didn't want to share his insight with the younger swordsman, but this time there was no reason provided.

"Why!" Lloyd asked sharply. Kratos didn't look up, but starred down at his mug in what seemed like thoughts that were bothering him. I glanced in from the door then walked in swiftly, as if nothing had happened moments ago. Without a glance from Kratos, Lloyd seemed even more confused.

"If Kratos won't tell me, then why are you here Yuan?" Lloyd asked, he seemed annoyed. Pfft, why should he be annoyed at me when as it stood I should be annoyed at him. Shaking my head I clenched my teeth tight and gave an icy stare. Lloyd backed down a bit then glanced back at Kratos.

"?.." I glanced over at Kratos. He seemed oddly pale, and he looked considerable tired. This wasn't like him, he never was pale, nor sick. Lloyd also noticed the change in his mood. What was wrong with him?

"Kratos?" I asked, trying not to add much concern as I usually would, knowing that Lloyd was breathing down our necks. Kratos looked over at me bleakly, he seemed like an expressionless ghost. No hint of annoyance or content ness. What was going on?

"Yuan! What the hell did you do!" Lloyd suddenly exclaimed. Shocked, I whirled around to face the brunette who had both swords extended. Me? Do something to Kratos, I couldn't even harm him if it meant I would loose my own life. But Kratos didn't stand up in my defense as he normally would, he just sat there, with no response.

"If I had done something would I still be here?" I asked, in my defense. I hadn't of thought of that comeback until I started talking. My mind wasn't used to be questioned so intensely when it came to Kratos, so this change was a startle.

"I believe you," Lloyd barely replied, he lowered his weapons and glanced over at Kratos. Without another thought, Lloyd glanced back at me, if there was urgency in his glance.

"I'm going to go get the Professor," Lloyd spoke slowly. He glanced back at Kratos and turned to me. "I swear, if you do anything to hurt him, I'll kill you," Lloyd warned looking once more at Kratos with worry and left out the front door. It was a few moments before I walked over to Kratos.

"Really, is something wrong?" I asked sitting down next to him. He shook his head, liar. I closed my eyes and thought of possible things to wrong with Kratos, but every idea hurt to think about. I didn't want Kratos hurt.

"Yuan, help me to my bedroom," Kratos suddenly asked. He seemed so weak, it was pathetic. Usually ne never asked for my help. With a shrug, I nodded as he managed to stand up. I walked next to him, lending him a shoulder if he stumbled. This was so new to me, Kratos never was to weak to ask for help.

"Thank you," He spoke softly as he laid down on his bed. Staring blankly at the ceiling, he changed his gaze over to me. I seemed stunned that he would looked over at me. That concerned me more.

"Kratos, tell me what's wrong," I commanded walking over to him and sat down. He closed his eyes but I continued, " I will never forget how you helped me, so please, tell me what's wrong so I can repay the favor," I spoke meekly. Raising his head, he sighed.

"Yuan, I'm glad Mithos is gone," He spoke softly. Was this about Mithos? Was he depressed Mithos was gone? After all he had done to us, how could he feel sympathy! I glared defiantly.

"Same here," I murmured. Kratos gave a slight smile, but it was wiped from his face to be replaced by a sigh. Still confused, I thought of something. Anything.

"They did it! Mithos is finally gone! Now we can live our lives, together," I spoke, trying to sound excited. But Kratos seemed worried, but got to me. My stomach sank, he was hiding something from me. For Martel's sake I hope he didn't have another kid, that one thought was a bit of a laugh.

"That sounds nice but..." Kratos began. But? What was there to complain about a life together? Or was he really tired of living with me. I shook uneasily, but hid the fact I was worried with a raised eye brow.

"But?" I asked, trying not to focus on the fact Kratos was hiding something. Kratos seemed paler then before and he could barely manage the next few words from his mouth.

"Something is wrong, something is wrong with me..." He managed. Wrong with him? The fact that he was lying in bed was what was wrong. Or was it something that ran deeper then emotions. I gave a stunned look back at him.

"Wrong? Like what," I spoke, trying to contain my anxiety. Kratos closed his eyes and extended his wings. At first I saw nothing wrong with them, but then my stomach lurched. His wings had suddenly turned a violent red. I was so shocked at this, I got off the bed.

"Kratos, what happened to your wings!" I demanded. Kratos closed his eyes and shook his head as if he didn't know. But somehow I knew he had some idea. I sat back down, closer to him this time.

"I don't know what happened," He spoke, trying not to look me in the eye. That was one of the signs that he was lying. He always looked me in the eye when he told me the truth. I sighed and took a deep breath.

"Come on, you can tell me," I spoke softly, taking his hand. Kratos didn't re act at all but lowered his head, as if he was shameful. All I wanted to know was what had happened to him.

"Yuan, I think my key crest," He managed. Key Crest? What could his exsphere do to him at this extent? Usually exspheres only changed genetic information, but to change an angelic feature.

"Kratos, why didn't you tell me sooner," I questioned, my mind was floating off at possible reasons for why he was so weak and his rings a fiery red.

"I didn't want to worry," He muttered. Just like Kratos not to share his problems with people even when his life was on the line. I sighed then remained stiff.

"Kratos, you don't need to worry about that, just relax and we'll find out what wrong," I spoke reassuringly. Kratos gave a faint sigh of relief then rested his head on my shoulder. It felt comforting to me and I know Kratos felt the same.

"Thank you Yuan," He spoke, and looked up at me.

"Anytime, I'll always be here," I managed. It was true, I just couldn't leave Kratos after all these years.

"Humph." He spoke, weakly. We starred at each other for a few moments, just starred, and then it happened once more. Complete bliss. But the feeling subsided when I heard a familiar voice at the door.

"WHAT THE HELL!"  
I jumped back startled, shit. Turning sharply along with Kratos, Lloyd stood at the doorway. My heart sank, and I could tell how guilty Kratos was feeling.

"Lloyd, I can explain," Kratos began, trying to talk, although he was weakened. Lloyd seemed frozen with anger and bolted into the kitchen. I stood up to go talk to him, but Kratos pulled me back down and starred blankly.

"Leave him alone, he has to understand," Kratos spoke, looking down. Tilting my head, I felt a pang of shame.

"I'm sorry that he saw us," I muttered bitterly. Kratos shook his head as if he wanted to argue.

"It's not your fault," He managed then tried to stand up, but fell back down. Alarmed, I turned sharply to make sure he was ok.

"Kratos, I love you," I spoke softly. I closed my eyes and thought deeply. Kratos pushed up from the bed and began to walk out into the kitchen, but barely. I cracked open my eyes and noticed he had left. With a sigh of guilt, I walked down the hall, but stayed at the entrance out of view and listened in.

"Kratos are you alright?" I heard Raine asked. So Lloyd had come through with bringing help. I heard Kratos mutter a yes but was interrupted by Lloyd.

"Yea Professor, He's perfect, but you better heal him just incase," Lloyd spoke glaring at his father. I felt so bad for Kratos. Because of my actions his son he had lost all respect for him.

"Alright," Raine spoke uneasily and casted a healing spell on Kratos. I gave another sigh of relief but continued to listen to the three's conversation.

"Thanks Professor Sage," Lloyd spoke, I could tell he had no gratitude in his voice. If I ever got my hands on him I'd make him regret treating his own father like this.

"Yes, thank you," Kratos spoke, looking downward, avoiding Lloyd's weary glance.

"Well, I'm sorry to make my leave so soon, but Genis and I have something to attend to," Raine spoke softly, she turned to Lloyd. "And thanks for coming to get me to help." and with that she left. Lloyd waited for a few moments before sending a verbal blow to Kratos.

"How could you do that! Ugh, don't even answer that!" Lloyd spoke angrily. I knew I had no place to interrupt in this conversation, well at the moment.

"Lloyd, you don't understand," Kratos spoke, leaning against the counter. Lloyd shook his head, still furious.

"No, I do know Kratos, I can't believe that you'd do that to me and mom," He spoke coldly. I knew what was coming next. Kratos' depression for the loss of Anna. I clenched my fists tightly, so hard it hurt, to resist from running out to defend Kratos.

"Lloyd, it isn't like that, I loved your mother, I loved Anna," Kratos replied softly, attempting to calm down his son. But Lloyd wasn't hearing any of it.

"That's no excuse! You were just--Ah! I can't even say it," Lloyd answered dully. He sat down, looking overly frustrated. Even though I doubted my entrance would best suit the moment, I went against my gut and walked out.

"What are you doing now?" Snarled Lloyd. He was obviously enraged with not just Kratos, but me as well.

"Lloyd, if you're mad at anyone, it should be me," I answered with sentiment towards Kratos. I closed my eyes and waited for a sharp but bitter reply but nothing came.

"I can't believe you too," He uttered maddened towards more so Kratos then me.

"Then if you can't feel for how Kratos is feeling, that maybe you shouldn't have come," I hissed back towards Lloyd, in Kratos' defense. Kratos didn't make any response of not wanting me to yell, but just closed his eyes and I could tell he wished Lloyd never saw us together.

"Maybe I will leave," Lloyd bellowed at his dad. Every word he spoke in offense to the seraphim snapped at my heart. I was trying to stand up for Kratos, but I knew how much Lloyd meant to him, and I hoped I meant as much. I prayed.

"Both of you, stop it," Kratos spoke up. Without another word, we stopped our fussing momentarily to see if Kratos wanted to say anything. "You're both acting like children."

"At least I have an excuse, what about you?" Lloyd snapped at me. That impudent little twerp. Staring icily back, I turned to Kratos.

"I'll stop if you wish,." I spoke, honestly I didn't want to stop yelling at Lloyd. Of course he had the right to be stunned or even mad, but to be so furious and act like he hated Kratos because of it made me more determined to stick up for Kratos.

Kratos nodded a thanks as he turned to his son.

"I can understand if you don't feel comfortable talking to me now," Kratos began but could barely finished as Lloyd left aburtly. He honestly must have forgotten to ask what was wrong or he could care less if his father went to hell. Kratos looked so hurt and frustrated. Walking over, I took Kratos hand.

"He'll come around, he can't stay mad forever," I spoke, trying to sound positive. Kratos sighed but give a grime smile back at me.

"Thank You once more Yuan," He managed then closed his eyes.

**Author's Note;  
So cute, but so evil. Die Lloyd! How could you be so crude! Oh and also, the mystery of Kratos' wings will be unvelied in the next chapter. / So you'll have to wait until I feel good enough to upload the next chapter, or even to write it. I have so many things to update, and I'm blank on ideas for Sabbitcal so as it stands now, I'll be writing more for this story, Our Hearts Cross, and my newest story, Wonders of Wal-Mart! Beware, the title says it all x3!**


	3. Chapter 3: Curses Of A Crest

**usually I get my inspiration from random objects, well this time it was the fresh prince of Belhair x3 Anyways, i am typing this at 2 am in the freckin morning xP I just hope I won't get caught! I have to type so slow!

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**Chapter Three: Curses Of A Crest**

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Hesaid I'm leaving  
Cos he can't take the pain  
It's hard to continue this love it ain't the same  
Can't forget the things that I've done inside his brain  
Too many lies committed too many games  
Hefeeling like a fool getting on the last train  
Trying to maintain but the feeling won't change  
I'm sorry for the things that I've done and what I became  
Caught up in living my life in the fast lane  
Blinded by lights, cameras, you know the fame  
I don't know the reason why I did these things

And I lie and I lie and I lie and I lie  
And now our emotions are drained  
Cos I lie and I lie and a little lie lie  
And now your emotions are drained

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"Are we there yet?"

It had taken so long to arrive at Meltokio for a honoary celebration in honnor of everyone for defeating Mithos. Yet Kratos was arrived, and he convinced me to tag along. He had his 'ways'. Anyway, we had took a detour over Latheon Gorge, so this route seemed to take hours. But finally we had arrived. It was a nice day, to say the most. Weatherwise of course. Sighing a bit, I landed my Rheaird next to Kratos'. Glancing back at me from over his shoulder he gave a nod as if he were trying to say everything would turn out fine. I highly doubted it, honestly.

"Do you really think everything will go smoothly?" Questions and curiosity filled my voice as I walked along side Kratos. After his reveal of his crimson wings, I wasn't so sure if he could handle another fall out with his son. But Kratos was as persistent as ever. He always got his way, which sometime I wished he didn't.

"Of course," Kratos chimed as if his cheery attitude to this party would sparken mine as well. So wrong he was. But at the least, it had made me feel less weary of his so called 'illness' which we were still unsure of the cause. The party was at Zelos' mansion, which I had guessed from the start. That house could fit the whole population of Meltokio and still have room to spare.

"You sure you're alright?" I asked, curious to see Kratos' reaction. It wasn't long before Kratos had glanced over at my sudden question. Although he seemed a bit annoyed, I was sure he knew I meant well although I would never come out and say it.

"Of course," Either he was an extremely good liar or he seriously meant he was fine. As of right now I wasn't quite sure which it was. Though I doubted he would delebratly lie to me, again. At least I hoped. We just then arrived at the entrance to Zelos' house. It was sink or swim from here. Kratos looked over at me and saw how nervous I honestly was. With a reassuring hand on my shoulder, I tried to become less tense.

"You really want to go through with this?" To be honest, I think I had made a mistake coming along. The others, I knew, woudln't be to pleased to see me arriving, and with all people, Kratos. But if they didn't approve, or thought, they could go shove it. Ahem. Did I really care about Kratos this much?

"Are you worried Yuan?" Kratos replied. Worried? Of course I was but even Kratos knew I usually didn't confess to anxiouty, nor did he. But we were so different in other aspects. Shrugging, I gave a stiff look at him.

"Yea," I managed. With that said, Kratos pushed open the doors into the room. Everything went silent when we walked in. My stomach lurched, it was worse then I had feared. Flickering eyes starred at me for a few moments, but no one dared to say anything, nothing at all. Complete silence. Kratos gulped uneasily and managed a glance over at me to make sure I was al right.

"Say something," I heard Genis whisper to the others. My ears twitched uneasily. Was it so akward to have Kratos and I together. I did save him from him dieing. So what was the shock. But there was shock, from everyone except Lloyd. I didn't feel right here.

"Kratos! It's good to see you!" Colette finally spoke up. She walked over to us and smiled widely at Kratos. I was suddenely appreative of the blonde ex. chosen. Kratos replied her smile with a small smile. That small interaction seemed to break ice as the others walked over to Kratos, as if I didn't exsist.

"Yuan," Twitching uneasily, I glanced over at Kratos' son. He was the only one who hadn't gone over to warmly greet Kratos. My heart sank. Was he still enraged after what happened. For Kratos' sake, I doped he had let it pass. Gathering my thoughts I replied with the most crude thing I could manage without sending Lloyd over the edge.

"What do you want know?" With that snap I awaited a just as cruel reply, but it was silent between the two of us. It took a few moments before Lloyd replied, defiance still resided in his eyes.

"Tell me what's wrong with Kratos'," It was more of a demand. It startled me to see Kratos' son act so differently then his father. But the years and now, his distance from him could turn anyone sour. Espeically me.

"Kratos is fine," I replied. I was weighing in my mind whether to tell Lloyd about Kratos' condition seeing he was a dwarf, or to lie straight to his face. But staring at the younger version of Kratos, I knew I couldn't lie about his well-being to someone I knew might care about him just as much as me.

"Don't lie," It seemed Lloyd really wanted to know was going on. But I didn't have to time to explain before Kratos walked over at looked from me to Lloyd. Something was on his mind, I was sure now.

"Dad... what's wrong with you," This time it was directed to him, as if I didn't exsist, or wasn't even there. But to hear Lloyd speak to Kratos as father to son, ignoring the current issue, made me feel a sign of relief for Kratos. But Kratos didn't relax one bit, no sigh of relief, nothing.

"Lloyd..." It took a few moments to explain what had happened to him. I didn't dare interfere, afraid of what or how Kratos would feel or re act towards me. After his explaniation, Lloyd seemed stunned but more so tense that I was still near them.

"I can look at your Keycrest if you want," Lloyd asked. I would have expected a nod or agreeance from Kratos but all that came was a sudden shockwave, and he seemed completely flustered. He went pale and shoved his other hand over his expshere.

"It's nothing, I'm sure Lloyd, I don't want you waisting your skills on me," Kratos was lieing, and you would have to be blind not to see that. My worst fear had come true, Kratos had lied yet again to me. But what was he hiding this time? That I wasn't sure of.

"If you don't feel the need, ok," Lloyd spoke shrugging. Had he really fallen for Kratos' lie. I shook my head as Lloyd walked over to Colette. My eyes said it all as Kratos looked back over at me. I could tell I knew something wasn't right.

"Yuan, I have to tell you something," Kratos spoke uneasily. My heart sank but I seemed glad that Kratos was going to tell me what was wrong. But for some reason, I was fearing the truth.

"Let's go someplace quiet," I replied pointing down an abandoed hall. Kratos gave a stiff shrug and nodded as he led the way.

"I don't trust them Lloyd," Genis spoke turning to his older friend. Lloyd gave an agreeing sigh but didn't seem worried.

"But what can we do?" Lloyd spoke with a hint of anger, but didn't speak anything else of it.

"What's going on Kratos? I want to know right now, Damnit!" I spoke angriliy to Kratos as he leaned against the wall, messing with his hair, still hiding his hand that bore his expshere. His issue had to be something related to that. But what?

"Yuan, look," He spoke meekily as he extended his hand that bore the keycrest. I really had never examined his key crest before. But on it bore elven language. My heart sank as I slowly began to read outloud.

"Death shall be of tho fiercest manner if thy be murddered or betrayed, power will be descreased against tho volition until tho be united in death itself.." I finished and examined every word until it became clear. I could barely breathe as I reliezed what was happening to Kratos.

"He enchanted that into your keycrest to make sure if he died you'd follow a slow painful path until you died as well," I clenched my teeth. After Mithos was gone I was so sure our lives would be simplier but this sudden delay was of the worst sort. I just starred at fear at Kratos and reliezed he was slowly dieing, and would be gone if we didn't do something fast.

"Kratos I'm so sorry, I didn't know," I leaned against Kratos in shock. He had this hid from me knowing I would have wanted to live his last days in peace. But I would have never forgivven myself.

"Please, please don't tell Lloyd..." He begged holding me close. How could I tell Lloyd was dieing a slow painful death because he had destroyed Mithos' Cruxis Crystal. I shook my head and could feel Kratos shaking in my grasp.

"But he has to know," I spoke, although my heart didn't want to tell Lloyd. I couldn't let Kratos leave me to live an eternal damnation without him.I was so strong, but the thought of losing him was a horror.

"Yuan, are you alright?" He asked. He was so strong, although the pain he was going through. How long had he been like this. I silently cursed myself for having such ignorance and not reliezing what was happeneing to him. Not once.

"What if we remove your exsphere?" I asked bleekily. It was worth a shot to ask. If an exshpere was removed, the key crest would be rendered useless. But removing an exsphere was not easy.

"Then I have a fifty-fifty chance of dieing or living without this curse..." Kratos spoke as if he feared I would ask that. A fifty--fifty wasn't good enough for me. I wanted a one hundred percent guarnity that he'd live forever.

"That's not good enough for me, Is there another way?" I asked, praying there was a better and safer way to save Kratos. The more Mithos hurt us after he was dead started to destroy my shield I had that blocked out everyone who tried to get close.

"No..." Kratos answered. That was what I was fearing. I closed my eyes tightly.

"You have to tell the others..." I spoke, he just had to.

"No, I only want you with me when I attempt to remove the expshere.." His voice was so frail. He looked like he was on the verge of fainting. I shook my head but then understood how deeply he felt for me.

"I'll never leave you, I promise," I replied looking up at Kratos. He took a huge sigh and shook violently.

"Thank you..." Was all he could manage. I shifted uneasily.

"How long do you have left?"I asked, fearing how short of a time we might actually have left together.

"A few days at the most.." He looked deeply shooken and I knew he wasn't lieing.

"Tell me this is just a joke, please..." I spoke, on the verge of a melt-down. But I had to keep my cool. For both our sakes. I just had to.

"I wish I could, I wish I could..."

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**Author's Note:  
My dear gosh x( When I started writing this I never thought I'd make such a sudden plot twist. ugh, just the thought of my next chapters is killing me inside. And I amwriting those now, but I usually upload one chapter evert day (or every other day) it's simpler and gives people time to review and such. So erm, you'll see what happens in the next chapter. And this story won't be as long as you are thinking, well it would seem it would end, so expect around the same lengh as COAA, which I'm re-doing a few parts in that as well to adjust to Yuan's personality. And now my friends, review.**


	4. Chapter 4: Courage Is Not Enough

**I have the idea of the story now, so I can finally understand how to write this and what will happen. Must not reveal plot twist and spoil it. So ahem, let's just start before I blurt out what happens x3! Which I sort of did to Origin x3 But no fears meh friend, I did say it wasn't what I told you, remember? Heh!

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**

_How can you see into my eyes  
Like open doors?  
Lading you down into my core,  
Where I've become so numb._

_Without a soul,  
My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold,  
Until you find it there and lead it back  
Home_

_All of this sight,  
I can't believe I couldn't see  
Kept in the dark  
but you were there in front of me  
I've been sleeping a 1000 years it seems.  
I've got to open my eyes to everything.  
Without a thought  
Without a voice  
Without a soul  
Don't let me die here.  
There must be something more.  
Bring me to life_

_

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_

**Chapter Four: Courage Is Not Enough

* * *

**

It was the day after I had learned of Kratos' death trial. It was a shock to me, and I couldn't believe it was a true. Silently I had aspired that Kratos would be all right, and I tried my hardest to forget that this was actually happening. But the hardest I endeavored, the more the reality of what was happening to Kratos flowed through my mind. As sharp and painful as betrayal.

"Kratos, wake up," I spoke banging on his door. It was so unlike me to wake him up when he was the one who would always arise me from my place. Yawning, I banged my fist against the the door. Lowering my gaze angrily, I banged my fist once more.

"Leave me alone Yuan," I just stood there, shocked. Did Kratos just tell me to leave him alone? Since when did I ever listen to him, and I wouldn't start now. A low growl emerged from my throat, as I banged don his door once more.

"Kratos, get up or I'll be forced to blast your door to oblivion," I warned. Now I knew how Kratos felt when I never wanted to get up. It was like our lives were flipped, or do or say reversed to where Kratos didn't even want to contact with me after he had claimed I was the only one he wanted with him when he attempted to break his spell on the key crest. But now he wouldn't even answer my constant bangs on his door. No reply; I sighed and uneasily began to cast a simple and weak spell, just enough to undo the lock on his door. Nothing too complicated. The spell released and the door made a click and opened a bit. Sighing, I extended a hand to the knob, swallowed my pride, and walked in with dread.

Yuan, I told you to leave me alone," Was all he spoke. I twitched uneasily and just perceived of what Kratos' current state was. With crimson wings extended, I starred at Kratos' ruby eyes, which seemed soulless. He truly lost his will to live. My stomach lurched as I walked over to Kratos, more in a stubborn defiance I always had to him.

"I won't leave you Kratos, now get up and stop being so sorrowful, you'll be fine," I behest to Kratos irritated. I was so used to the one who was dragged out of bed, I found it hard to be a hypocrite. Shaking my head, I waited for a reply.

"There's no point in getting up," He replied. What was with his attitude! This was the most crucial point in his life were he needed to be positive, but he was acting so unlike himself. If he wanted any chance of living, he best change his attitude. Because of he no strive to live, what point was there for me to assist him? I wouldn't be like Mithos.

"Kratos, just shut up. I'm trying to help you, so the least you can do is cooperate or I'll leave your lazy ass here," Hissing those words I felt I was lying to myself. Really, I had no intention of leaving him, ever. But these times were when he got on my nerves. I just wanted him him to be ok, just to live a carefree eternal life alongside his friend's, family, and me.

"Just leave me to be by myself for my last days," He spoke cruelly. Last Days? He wasn't sure he was going to die. I knew he would pull through this and break Mithos' cruel spell. It was a matter of life and death but I knew Kratos would come around when the verdict was being made. But could I honestly count on his participation?

"I'm not leaving this room to you get up!" Snapping at Kratos made me feel on the opposite side. I was starting to sound like a 'parent' just like he was. That thought sent shivers down my spine. Never would I stoop to what he had done, unless I was with Martel. Stiffing back up, I starred blankly at Kratos, still waiting for his reply.

"Humph, stubborn as hell," He retorted glancing at me for the first time this morning. My heart ached to see his condition. It was getting worse everyday. Raising his head, he uneasily flapped his wings but remained silent. We exchanged silent words, but I couldn't stand him in such misery. I just wanted to know when I started to feel so compelled to him. If this was when he first joined our journey; I would have left him to die. But everything was different. He wasn't just a inconsiderate human that hated my kind so much, he was a loyal friend.

"I'd rather you hate me then leave for eternity," I replied bitterly. For some reason those words had startled Kratos. Widening his eyes astounded for my 'care' you could say that his life was important. It seemed he was struggling for words, mentally and physically.

"Yuan; contact Lloyd for me," He suddenly addressed with urgency. Tilting my head in confusion, I nodded stiffly, not wanting to question Kratos. I knew he knew what he was doing, although he was on the verge of a break-down. I left the room, glancing over my shoulder to make sure he wouldn't do something he would regret. Or I would regret.

I walked over to the transmitter that sat on a high cabinet. We hadn't used it for so long, it was gathering an abundant amount of dust. Afraid it was out of mana, I picked it up and lightly transferred some of my mana into it. If it was something Kratos wanted, or needed, I could spare that small amount of myself. After I had touched the transmitter, it clicked on and displayed a list of names. The second one from the top bore Lloyd's name in bold letters. With a flick of my wrist, I clicked the transmitter and it made a buzzing sound.

I thought for a moment, then brought the transmitter into Kratos' room. If he wanted contact with Lloyd, my best ideas were he wanted to talk to him personally, not through my words, which I doubted he believed after what had happened last visit. Kratos glanced at me as I re entered. His eyes traveled from me to the transmitter that was vibrating.

"He should pick up any second," I instructed Kratos. He was wordless until his son picked up. His voice was so stunned that the transmitter was actually being used.

"Dad?" Lloyd asked. I closed my eyes and felt a bit better seeing Lloyd still found it in his heart to call Kratos his father. I watched Kratos lean closer to the transmitter and weakly spoke words, as if he hurt to talk. What I could hear was an urgent news in address to himself. Of course I knew what it was, but before I could walk over and tell Lloyd, I saw Kratos click it off and close his eyes.

"What?" I asked muddled by what the two had just spoke. Without another word, Kratos withdrew his wings. I was sure he was telling me Lloyd would arrive. I hesitated a bit, but then gave a sharp nod, although Kratos couldn't see it.

"He's coming, correct?" I asked, knowing he was. It felt better to actually state the obvious, so I was sure of it. With a weak ved, Kratos opened his eyes once more and beckoned for me to come over. Looking confused, I paced over to where the seraphim sat.

"Yuan, if anything happens to me, make sure Lloyd stays safe," He spoke in a melancholy voice. I took a step back akwardly. Did he just tell me to take of his son that hated me so much. If anything happens? He was taking this too far. Nothing would happen, I was sure and I had to make Kratos see that.

"Kratos, you aren't going to die, I'm sure of it," I spoke, trying to lighten his mood. But my attempts were casted away like old news. His eyes reflected his pain and misery. Just removing this key crest could solve everything, and we could return to our normal lives. Maybe that's why he had requested Lloyd's presense.

"Just promise me, please," Was all he said. He went silent and just sat there, like he was already gone. I bit my upper lip stubbornly and crossed myarms in frustration. What a negeative attitude. I yawned a bit then turned to Kratos, as if I wanted to say something. Nothing came out, just emptyless sighs. Without taking notice, Kratos remained as stiff as stone.It was as if he had become a statue.

"Dad?" I perked my ears and heard the front door open. I was still un-prepared to confront the younger swordsmen. Secretly I prayed that Kratos would explain. He himself knew more about his condition. Kratos didn't budge or reply, so clearing my throat, I tried to seem as crude and un-concerned as I could.

"He's back here," I managed, in almost a hiss. A few moments passed with reply. But after turning my back from Kratos, I heard Lloyd enter the room. I knew what was going to happen next. He would ask why I was here, then all the truth would come out. Everything, everything from Kratos' condition to our relationship. I clenched my teeth and didn't turn around.

"Kratos, are you ok?" He asked, his voice quavering with every other word. I wasn't sure whether to tell him what was going on, or to wait for Kratos to speak up. But as the seconds ticked by, Kratos hadn't seemed to say anything. I turned around and saw Kratos starring at his son with fear and dread. My heart sank lower.

"Lloyd.." He began. I could tell Lloyd was more concerned with what Kratos was going to say more then my presence. I watched in silence, I couldn't tell if I was a good place to speak. Doubting it was, I remained still. But it wasn't long before Kratos had begun his current crisis. I remained silent, everyword he spoke felt like razor sharp nails piecring my heart. I glanced over and saw Lloyd devasted then began to shake.

"It's all my fault... I destroyed his Cruxis Crystal," Lloyd spoke, on the verge of tears. He held his head in fear, but I didn't say anything. I just remained where I was. Glancing over, Kratos made a gesture for me to join in. Not entirely sure if I should accept, I took a few paces towars the duo. Kratos turned back to his son.

"Lloyd, I need your help with removing my key crest," He finally said. Lloyd's eyes suddenely filled with horror. He seemed angry and offended by Kratos' request. On alert, I turned to Lloyd, not wanting Kratos to have to reason with his persistent son.

"Lloyd, if you don't, he will slowly die," I mutterted. I couldn't believe I was actually saying this! He just couldn't die, I knew he couldn't. He was granted an eternal life, but could Mithos alter that life? Something in my gut said he would be fine.

"Fine..." Lloyd finally said, he had tears in his eyes but bite his lip so he couldn't show it. I knew he was afraid to take off the key crest. In attempts to make Lloyd feel more comfortable, although it was impossible to feel contempt at a moment like this, I spoke as I closed my eyes.

"It's been enchanted with a spell, so only a dwarf or one who knows their arts can remove it," I explainied. Lloyd looked over at me with a deafly stare. Offended, I glared back at him.

"I know that," He warned me walking over to his father. If Lloyd hadn't hated me so much as he did, I would have guessed his fear and pain was creating anger. But I knew how the swordsmen felt towards me so I just had to accept the bitter truth.

"Are you ready?" Lloyd spoke shaking. Kratos looked from Lloyd then rested his glance at me as if to say he wanted me to think about the promise I had uneasily commited to. I doubted I would have to hold true to it. Lloyd was talented in these arts, and if anyone could remove this key crest, it would be him.

"Alright.." Lloyd spoke as Kratos extending his hand which bore the symbol of his past. My heart thropped. Everything was going fine so far. Had he lied about the risk of dieing? Everything was going so smoothly. At that moment I felt enraged that Kratos had lied until Lloyd took off the crest and relief flooded over to me.

"Kratos, you're finally free," I spoke walking over happily followed by Lloyd. A smirk rolled across his face. At first I thought he was joyous also, but then a horrible gut feeling filled me. That wasn't his smirk he always had when we were together. Something was wrong.

"Thank You Lloyd," Kratos spoke weakly. Lloyd just stood there, frozen as ice. Kratos looked over at me as his wings extended without his command. "Please hold true to your promise. I wish I could have spent more time with you Yuan, and although I always denied it, you were the only person other then Anna I ever felt for. Good bye..." And with that his eyes shut softly and he fell limply onto the bed. Shock flooded over me like a raging river.

"DAMNIT! Kratos no!" I hollered. I couldn't hold it in, even though Lloyd was standing two feet away. I knelt down next to the bed and held him in my arms. His body was ice cold. No shaking, no pain, just silence. For the first time since Martel had departed, tears streamed down my face.

"You promised me you'd never leave," I spoke shutting my eyes tightly. I felt like just sitting there forever. Nothing meant anything anymore. Lloyd walked over, shaking.

"Dad..." He spoke shaking. It was true he was his father, but he hadn't have spent all those years that I had. My heart throbbed as I hold the stiff body of Kratos.

"You knew you'd die, damnit Kratos," I spoke as tears rolled down my face. My whole eternal life would be spent without him by my side. Right now I wish I could just die. Just die and leave this wrecked world Mithos has trashed so horribly.

"Kratos," Lloyd spoke burying his face into his hands as he sat down. I couldn't tell if he was crying, but it didn't matter. He held Kratos in my arms tightly.

"You never let me say good bye," I spoke weakily. He had gotten the last word, it was his way or dieing. I just sat there, in misery.

"Wake up! Damnit, just wake up Kratos!" I shook his body violently then buried my head into his chest and wept. "Don't go... please, don't leave me.."

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**Author's Note: **

My keys are all wet from tears. KRATOS NO! WHY! (bangs into a wall) NO KRATOS! Kratos... and yes there will be another chapter. Please read it, just trust me. I'll do my best to put it up soon. I promise. (goes off to cry)


	5. Chapter 5: Here Without You

**Hopefully I won't end up crying like I did in the last chapter. That really got me so sad, I can't believe I cried with my own fan fiction, I'm so stupid. I also have an idea of writing a story about the Kharlan War. Is that a good idea? Yes no, or am I just stupid. I wasn't sure which pov to make it, more then likely either Yuan's, Kratos' or third person. But third person is kind of, I dunno, less descriptive. Anyway, I am just going to concentrate on this long story. Did I say that out loud? Yes, this will be many more chapters. And I can't tell you how thrilled I am to actually have people review and compliment me. It makes meh day, heh! Yes, I shall reply to reviews in my author's note. Gosh, I love you all so much x3!

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**

_A hundred days had made me older  
since the last time that I've saw your pretty face _

_A thousand lights had made me colder and I don't think I can look at this the same_

_But all the miles had separate  
They disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face_

_I'm here without you baby  
but your still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby  
and I dream about you all the time  
I'm here without you baby  
but your still with me in my dreams  
And tonight it's only you and me

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_

"I'm going to get help..."

I was lost in my own little world. A world where Kratos and I lived a care-free relaxing life. No betrayals, no lies, just a complete bond of trust. In a world where everything was peaceful and no one ever bothered us. In a world where I could show my feelings with no fear of rejection. In a world where Kratos was still with me. I glanced upwards at Lloyd, who was still starring with horror at what he had just seen. Without responding, I watched Lloyd, almost in tears, as he ran out of the room and ran out the front door. I was left alone finally. The shock of what just happened was slowly becoming more real and painful. In my arms was my only true friend left in this world, someone who had always been there when I needed him, but I let him down so miserably.

"Please don't say you're dead. Please don't. Lloyd, your son, went to get help. Please, please be okay, Kratos, I can't bear to even think about living here without you," Was all I could manage as I lowered my head and tightly shut my eyes to hold back the painful tears. Every breathe injured my already damaged heart. It was like the only remaining fragments of my heart were being ripped out in a taunting manor. I just wanted to die, and be with Kratos once more. In the deepest part in my mind, I wished he was all right. I wished he was alive and none of this happened.

"I'll never forgive myself for this Kratos, I could have saved you. Why? Why did you lie and said you had half a chance of living when you damn well knew you'd die," I knew I would receive no answer. No answer at all. Not now or ever again. I would never be able to feel his warm presence again, nor would I ever be able to hear his gruff, but caring voice comfort me when I was down. It was all gone. Nothing felt real anymore.

I extended my wings and just held him in my arms. I wouldn't let go, not now or not ever. Why had I been so damn naive around him. I knew he wanted me to act more open-minded but I could never provide him with that. I was always a stubborn ass to him till the end. I ran a hand through his hair and clenched my teeth tightly through the agony. It had only been months before that we were at our closest. The closest we had ever been, but for sure not the closest we could be. I wanted to be 'that close'. But now neither of us would ever have our chance to be that close.

"Even though, your...gone, I'll never leave you again," With a mutter of bitterness, I held Kratos tightly, and just starred at his blank expression. He seemed at ease, as if dieing was blissful. But how could he leave me with such a heavy burden of not being able to save him. shaking my head slightly, I couldn't bring myself to let him down. All those years apart, that should have never happened. My arrogance towards Kratos during those years had gave us such a feeling of loneliness. Well, in my point of view.

"Kratos!" I turned my head slightly and saw Colette and Lloyd at the entrance of the door. I at first thought they were the only two coming, but at such a melancholy event, I knew the others who had met Kratos would soon follow suit. No one knew him like me. They had no right to be here. I was the only one who deserved to be with him.

"Lloyd, I'm so sorry," Colette spoke burying her head into Lloyd's shoulder for comfort. Without hesitance, he placed a reassuring hand on Colette's head and held her close. Pausing for a few instants to look at the two, I sharply turned my head away and looked back down at the dead Kratos. This wasn't real, it just couldn't be.

"We got here as fast as we could," Another tilt of my head, I saw Lloyd's other comrades that were once my enemies, then allies, then enemies, then once more allies, were walking into the room. It was awfully crowded and I felt bitter. How awkward it was to be holding Kratos in the company of all these people who had never known the true Kratos. Still holding tightly, I ignored the others as if they were invisible. It didn't help much, but gave a small bit of comfort in this disaster.

"He's really gone, poor bloke," I heard the fellow seraphim chime. Only a trace of sadness was left in his voice. That wasn't good enough. How could the Chosen Of Mana be so savage about the death of Kratos. Sharply flipping around, Kratos still in arms, I gave the red-head a stern look. He looked stunned but only laughed a bit. Laughing was not accepted at a time like this. The whole group starred deafly at him; and he gave a unsettled sigh then shut up immediately.

"I was just joking," Zelos spoke trying to break the mood of silence. I was so angry at the moment I didn't even listen to what he was ranting about. My life had no purpose whatsoever, I never listened to anyone before, why start now? It was sheer pointless.

"Just shut it Zelos!" Lloyd answered bitterly. Only Lloyd and I would feel real grief towards Kratos. We were the only ones who knew the cause of death, and the sacrifice Kratos had made to save the two worlds. I felt like shaking, but still held Kratos in my arms, just like that time at Origin's Seal.

"Professor Sage, can't your healing arts help?" I heard Colette asked sadly. I was expecting a glitter of excitement, but all that shown in the fellow half-elve's eyes were shook and disappoint. She looked downward, almost ashamed to be here.

"As I heard from Lloyd, this was from a curse, not even my healing arts could have saved him," Raine spoke looking down. Sheena also looked stunned to hear that not even Raine could help. She looked over at Zelos with a frown. Zelos was still being so un-caring towards the whole concept.

"Oh come, get a hold of yourselves!" Zelos chimed in. Everyone starred at him once more. It wasn't like Zelos to be so brute towards deaths. My worst fear at that moment came true as Zelos continued, " Come on! He's dead! There's nothing we can do. No point in mopping around like life-less people. We have our own lives to live!"

Everyone starred at him, including myself. It felt like a stake being driven through my heart as Zelos spoke so ill towards Kratos. Did he really hate him that much not to grieve for him in his death? What was wrong with him? Did he have no heart?

"Zelos! I know you didn't like the guy but you don't have to act so vulgar!" Sheena hissed smacking Zelos upside the head. As I had seen, Zelos usually reacted with a pout, but this time only stubbornness shown in his turquoise eyes. That was all that could be seen as he crossed his arms, almost in anger.

"Vulgar? Vulgar! The damn SOB was one of the bastards who set up to kill me!"

The whole room went dead silent. A low sinking feeling overwhelmed me, as the groups eyes looked at Kratos. Disgust filled most pairs of eyes, but the most interesting re action was Lloyd. He seemed to stumble with the idea that his father had actually meant to harm him. I couldn't stand the thought. Sure Kratos was under the influence of Cruxis, but try to kill a human being on purpose? Especially a Chosen. That was so, unlike him.

"You heard me! Yggdrasill let it slip when I joined forces with him. The bastard was the one who told Seles' mom of the plan and my existence. He's the one to blame for my mom's death!" Zelos rang out. Twitching my ears, I wanted to stand up in Kratos' defense, but not even I knew the whole story. Had Kratos really committed such a horrible sin? No wonder he was so afraid to get close to anyone. But to actually try to kill Zelos, I couldn't believe it even if he had provided physical proof. If there was any.

"Zelos, I'm sure you have it wrong," I heard Regal speak from the doorway. With a deafly push to anyone who stood in the door way, Zelos charged out of the room. The mood suddenly changed from anger to dead silence. No one dared to speak. All these lies were swarming around the air, just waiting to be understood or to be used against someone.

"I'll go talk to him," Sheena advised uneasily, she bowed her head slightly to Lloyd, as if she knew what Kratos' son was going through, then left the room. All was silent once more. I could see Raine exchange glances with Regal. What was on everyone's minds. But before I had time to dwell on any thoughts, Colette spoke up, as if in protest to Zelos' thoughts.

"I'm sure Kratos would never do that. Although I didn't know him for that long, I know he was good deep down in his heart. Zelos has to have it wrong. I can't see Kratos killing anyone," She looked down, hands clasped. Lloyd looked astounded to see Colette in defense to Kratos. An agreeing came from Presea then Genis. Everyone was here in this small room. But that didn't matter at all to me, the only ones in this room were me and Kratos.

"Thank you Colette," Lloyd spoke slightly. He gave a nod as if he wanted everyone besides him and I to leave. As if he verbally asked, the room became comfortable and empty again. Shutting the door, Lloyd walked over to me. Something was on his mind. I was expecting him to yell at me, or cuss me out, but he seemed like he wanted to know something.

"I want to know how Kratos met Mithos," He suddenly asked. How Kratos joined up with us? That itself was such a truly long story. It was the first time in awhile since someone had addressed me. Clearing my throat, I stood up and laid Kratos' limp body onto the bed. I turned to his son, and closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"He was a traveling mercenary intrigued by our resistance to the war. What really made our group so appealing was that Mithos was a summoner and Martel possed many hidden talents. Which to some extent, she never learned fully. I was merely a tag along from the group. I had befriended Mithos and Martel when the three of us were exiled from Heimdall. I was your age Lloyd, and Mithos was the age you saw him to be when he re appeared," I closed my eyes. Just thinking about that time so long ago sent shivers down my spine. Kratos had started out just a simple acquaintance, but then turned out to be the best friend I ever had. Lloyd looked as if he was understanding everything I said.

"What made Mithos want to engrave that curse into his key crest," Lloyd asked uneasily. To be honest, I knew half the story behind that. And I had always wanted to ask Kratos to tell me the whole story, but never got the chance.

"I'm not sure of all the details, but I believe Mithos gave Kratos the cursed key crest when he made the pact with Origin which was based on Kratos' own life. That way if Kratos ever did betray Mithos, he would have two ways of dieing," I spoke trying to re tell everything I knew. Kratos, as it seemed, had been treated so unfairly. I sincerely doubted Mithos cared about him at all. Lloyd nodded sharply then looked at Kratos body on the bed.

"He's really gone," Lloyd spoke, more so to me then to Kratos. It was true, but just thinking about it made the moment he died, his last words, that look all flood back to me like I was under a cascading waterfall gasping for air.

"I know you never had much time with your father," I attempted trying to talk to Lloyd. I had always been so bitter and cruel to the boy, but Kratos wish was for me to watch over the one I hated. But did I really hate him? Or was he just a mere reflection of Kratos' secretive side? Looking back at me, he nodded then sighed looking down at his own exsphere.

"I'm sorry mom," He spoke, shaking. Lloyd had lost both his parents to reasons not their own. It pained me to see him parent less, right after finding out Kratos was his father and all. But how could I connect with such an arrogant person who was set on one view of life and wasn't about to change it for all costs.

"Why are you apologizing to your mother?" Managing to ask that, I sat down on a seat, meekly. I tried to get my mind off Kratos just enough to talk to Lloyd. But every breath I took reminded me of the auburn angel I had falling so hard for. The pain would never go away, or never sub due.

"I promised her I'd protect dad," He spoke sadly. So that was it. He felt shameful for taking off the key crest. Of course I felt miserable about letting Kratos just die. There was no other way he had told me. But what if there was? Why couldn't I have searched for another way then just listening to Kratos' words. he was never one to tell me the truth. Why had I believed him so easily.

"Oh," I replied softly. Although my voice was soft, it still had the familiar edge of annoyance towards him. Some habits were just un breakable, unless you tried really hard. And my habit of dis liking Lloyd was one of them. I concurred that Lloyd felt the same towards me.

"I... 'm going to leave you alone for awhile, I'll be outside with the others," Lloyd spoke shiftily. For some reason I was starting to believe that Lloyd now accepted the relationship I had with Kratos seeing it could never build or felt again. With a swift nod, and one last look at his father, Lloyd left the room. I felt a hint of sincerity towards me as Lloyd left. I wasn't sure if that was right, but I didn't matter that much at all.

For some reason I had drifted into a deep sleep alongside Kratos vesseless body. My mind felt as cold as ice. I was in a large space of pure white. Glowing white rays blazed at me as I squinted to look around. It was a void of nothing, just complete white that glowed. I felt cold and alone once more as I stood there, just stood there in that room. At first I tried to move, but my body was paralyzed. Every movement I made caused a sharp electric shock to flow over me.

But after that shock, a sweet and familiar scent wafted around the air. My heart began to race as I stood there, and felt warm and at home. First I thought I felt the presence of Kratos, but the more I stood there, taking it in, the more I knew who it was. It wasn't Kratos, but the one I had loved for so much who was unrightfully taken from me so many years ago.

"Martel?" I managed. Hearing my own voice in this emptiness sent shivers down my spine. Waiting for a few moments, I looked around. My body felt like Jell-O that was stuck in form. Martel's scent remained around me as I closed my eyes and when I opened them, she was standing before me. She looked the same as she did the day she died. Her beautiful hair, and those eyes. My body started to shake as I starred at her after all these years apart. A flicker of a smile appeared on her face.

"I'm so glad to see you once more," She spoke. She still had her kind, sisterly voice. I felt my hand that bore the ring, I still kept it after these thousands years in memory of her. Beaming back at her, I remained still seeing I couldn't move if I tried. Just seeing her was enough for me.

"Martel, please, come back," I begged. She shook her head. Not sadly, which I found odd, but as if she had business to attend to. She tilted her head then smiled back at me.

"I can't. If I were to leave, the worlds would be left without a guiding light. I can't abandon my duties to protect the land to come back, I'm so sorry," She spoke, her voice was becoming distant as if she was moving farther away. Starring at her for a few more seconds, I realized I had another favor to request of her.

"Then, please. Please bring Kratos back to me. He was unrightfully snatched from his life by Mithos' curse," I pleaded. I craved for both Kratos and Martel back, but I was starting to doubt I would get neither. Awaiting a reply, Martel just seemed stunned for a moment then smiled.

"I'm glad you two are still friends," Was all she said in reply. Of course we were. We are the only ones that understand each other. Well, were the only ones. I closed my eyes, feeling the pain of losing both Martel and Kratos. It felt so unreal that I had to blink multiple times to make sure it was real.

"Martel, please," I spoke once more. With a flick of her wrist she took out her panpipe she would always play. The entrancing sound was how I first met her. We were in Heimdall, and she was resting by the river, playing her instrument with such care and love. Ever since that moment I had fallen for her. And the fact we were both half-elve's made it even more perfect.

"You've got a loving heart Yuan. Please don't keep it locked inside just because I'm not the one you can share it with. I will always remember you, and will always cherish the time we had. But you have to move on, remembering our memories, but also making new ones," And with that I was jolted awake.

I sat, crouched over, head against the bed. I felt extremely powerful but blissful. Although I was awake, I could have sworn I smelt Martel's sweet scent. Just ever so vaguely. I looked over at Kratos and took his lifeless hand. I knew it was pointless, but there were a few things I wanted to get off my chest.

"Kratos, I know you can't hear me, but I just wanted to tell you a few things. I'm sorry I never opened my heart after Martel died. I'm so sorry I was never able to return to my once care-free self. I knew that's what you were aiming for, for me. And I thank you Kratos, and I'm so sorry. But Kratos, I know this is so stupid saying this now, seeing I'll never be able to feel you again, I just wanted to say I love you, and thank you for all your kindness over the years. You will always have a place in my heart, right alongside Martel. I love you Kratos, and miss you..." I rested my head against the bed, looking straight down at the floorboards, tears strolling down my eyes. It was so true that I missed him and I had always loved him.

"I'm glad you feel that way,"

My heart stopped for several seconds. I jolted my head up and saw Kratos beaming at me. His face was lit up so much. I could tell he wasn't suffering anymore, and I could tell all the pain he ever felt was gone. He was free, but damnit, He was back!

"Kratos!" I spoke astounded as I wrapped my arms around Kratos so tightly. I didn't want to let go. This didn't feel real. I never wanted to let go. I could tell Kratos was smirking as he laughed at bit.

"Heh, glad to know how you feel Yuan," He spoke wrapping his arms around me as well. It was total happiness. I wouldn't have traded that moment for anything in the world. We were together again, and He finally knew how I felt for him. How much I cared and loved him. And he knew I wasn't joking or it wasn't real love. I knew he could tell.

"Don't ever go again," I spoke shutting my eyes as I held Kratos so tightly. I let go a bit then sat infront of him on the bed as he smiled, a true smile. Not his fake smile he had used so many times before to mislead me.

"I'm not planning on it," He spoke joyously. I shrugged, and returned his smile with a sigh of relief. All that worrying, all that pain was rewarded with his safe return. I leaned in and a blissful kiss was shared between us. All this time I didn't know how to express my feelings. But now Kratos was truly free. I couldn't help but be overjoyed. He returned my gesture without a second thought. Moments ticked by until we both got up.

"Should I tell them, or you?" I questioned, stretching from those countless hours on the floor holding him. Kratos gave a shrug then paused for a moment.

"Well it is my news," He spoke, as if It was a joke. I nodded and followed in pursuit. We had so many years ahead of us. Just hours ago I had felt like my world was ending. Felt like nothing mattered anymore. But Martel had given me an eternal happiness again. She had brought Kratos back to me, with no more suffering. And I would never take advantage of this truly unbelievable relationship I had with him. From now on, I promised myself,. I would be more open. And I knew I could. I had Kratos by my side.

* * *

**Author's Note:  
SQUEAK! I loved this ending! Fooled you all with the last chapter. Heh. No I can't do sad ending. And this isn't actually an ending. I'm planning on more chapters with Kratos and Yuan together. Yippy! I think the only part I actually felt tears in my eyes was when Yuan was talking to Kratos and telling him how he really felt. Gosh. Anyways, I'll think of something good to go along with this for the next chapter. I couldn't have writen this without my lovely reviewers. In Fact! Let's answer them now x3!**

**Violettegal345- It's your favorite! Omigosh! Thank you! I never had such a huge compliment before. Wow, just wow. Yes I will continue.**

**Great Beaver- Tell me about it! That's why I'm obessed with Kratos and Yuan fics!**

**Eden Raid- I better not let you down then x) And continuing as you asked!**

**Martel- No, Yuan's depressed. Poor Yuie! (huggles him)**

**Mary Beth the Chosen- I know! Kratos dieing made me cry too. Which I never cry with my own fanfictions.**

**Nife- So many people are heart broken cause Kratos died. Well not anymore! X)**

**RavenGhost- A update, as promised!**

**SangoGrl64- I don't cry often either. But I so attached to Kratos I couldn't help but get all teary. Well update ish here!**


	6. Chapter 6: Sweet Memories

**well, I wanted this chapter to be ubberly fluffeh after my other depressing but ending sweetly, chapter. So enjoy the K/Y fluff! Man do I love this pairing! And like last time, my replies to reviewers will be in in my author's note. Man, this is going to be sweet fluff,. Like, those sugar peeps at Easter. Yummy! x3! Wait, I'm scaring myself now. I better stop my ranting before I completely forget what I was going to do! lol! **

Nall: You are one idiotic fan girl...

Me: So! So! What does that mean! I have to go on my main computer which freezes everyday to put up these chapters! That means I have to wait everyday at like, I have no clue, like late afternoon to actually put these chapters up! It isn't fair!

Nall: Why do you have to do that?

Me: doesn't work on my laptop or spare computer T.T

Nall: ha Ha! Sucks for you!

Me: baka Yarou O.O I also would like to thank for the some of these ideas; although I didn't put the ideas in the story you reviewed. I found it'd be better suited for my fluffeh Kratos Yuan fic! Yay! And I'm still laughing at my friend who threw a FIT when I killed Kratos! She almost smacked me upside the head! I was like ' Read the next Chapter!" and she's like "Then can I kill you!"

Anyway, if you can't stand Shonen-ai(sp? O.O) maybe you should stop reading x3 But come on! I ain't going to put a lemon in this. Ugh, I think i'd die if I even tried to! I just like the sweet fluff! x3 But will is all be fluff? I might make a erm dramatic scene. No clue, just read and you'll find out!

And I have been having a need to write this story in long, sort of detailed chapters. Most of my stories are humor filled. Anyway, let's start!

Warnings; Spoilers, some Shoen-ai; some language; mostly just an interesting story

* * *

_I've been down, but now I'm blessed,_

_I felt a revelation comin around,_

_I guess it's right, it's so amazing,_

_Everytime I see you, I'm alive,_

_You're all I got, you lift me up,_

_The sun and the moonlight,_

_All my dreams are in your eyes,_

_I wanna be inside your heaven,_

_Take me to the place you cry from,_

_Where the storm blows your way,_

_I wanna be the Earth that holds you,_

_Every bit of air you breathin in, of soothin wind_

_I wanna be inside your heaven._

* * *

"I think you put too much sugar in Yuan," He winced as he bit in the pastry. 

Everything had been going fine since his return. Our relationship towards each other was as strong as ever, and we started to explore new adventures in both worlds. Of course using the power Lloyd and the others used to create a vortex to teleport between both worlds. Either way, we still lived in our home located near Heimdall. Today, I had attempted to make a pastry. From Kratos' reaction, I was starting to think I was worse at cooking then him. But then again, I doubted anyone could cook worse then him.

"I followed the recipe," Starring blankly at a leather-bound book, I buried my nose in the book reading over the instructions. Two cups flour, one teaspoon of vanilla extract, one berry, and half a cup sugar... a half cup? I swore it had said three cups earlier. Flushing a deep red, I glanced over at Kratos who was gagging from all the sugar.

"Tastes like pure sugar. You know I hate pure sugar," Kratos chimed miserably. Grabbing a glass of water, he chugged it down rapidly and put down the half of pastry that remained. Looking at him, completely embarrassed, I hesitated and managed an uneasy smile.

"That's what four thousand years of reading does to you," I replied with a hint of amusement. I set down the book and took my seat alongside Kratos. Glancing over to look at me, he shuddered. His auburn hair was untidy and his clothes were all wrinkled.

I just starred at him. He could care less about a thing called personal hygiene. It bothered me, but it was just the way Kratos was. I never knew when he acquired his dislike of sugar, but it must be a real bother at times like this. Especially seeing I had completely screwed up the recipe and added six times the sugar. Did it really taste that bad? Usually I tested my creations on Kratos seeing he always told the truth, well started to tell the truth recently.

"Next time be more careful," With a shake of his head, he glinted a smile. His appearance was strong, but deep down when you got to know him, he was quite enjoyable to be around. More so enjoyable for me. I yawned a bit, then grabbed the other half of the pastry, in protest that it didn't taste that awful.

Shoving the sugar treat in my mouth, I bit down and began to chew. Kratos starred at me, waiting for a dis pleasured response. At first it tasted light and airy, but after ten seconds of chewing, the un pleasant taste of an overdose of sugar filled my mouth as I celeritously swallowed.

"Told you," Kratos chimed drinking his glass of water. He was always right, and sometimes that got annoying. Gazing over at the other pastries that I had created, I felt a feeling of sickness starring at the sugary treats. Who in there right mind would mis measure sugar to that extent? Me.

"It wasn't _that_ bad," I lied bitterly. Almost as if he found it a joke, Kratos laughed a bit. He wasn't much of a laughter kind of guy, but that was one of the things I found so grand in him. Pushing the remaining treats in the side trash, I looked down and yawned. I was extremely groggy this morning. The night before I had stayed up, just thinking about everything that happened in the past years, and thought about how much that certain seraphim who sat less then a foot away from me, meant to me.

"And I thought my cooking was ghastly," Kratos soughed in a bit of a way to cheer me up. He set down his glass then looked out the window back at the river. Not really paying much attention to him at that very moment, I fiddled with my glass and just starred blankly at it, tuning out the world.

"Nice day," I heard Kratos declare, eyes still keen on the window. Lifting my head up to peer out the window, I just starred at the cascading river that had always flowed behind our home. Once a withering stream, but now an imposing force to be reckoned with. Lately from the mana returning to the worlds, the river had began to return to it's crystal clear status.

"What do you want to do," I awaited a reply from Kratos. He didn't say anything, but just starred at that river. He was always one who would stare at that river. Ever since we came here after the Kharlan War. For some reason, I had inferred, he found the river peaceful. Peaceful and Tranquil.

"Depends," I heard Kratos reply brightly. His face flickered with a quick look of interest. Pausing for a moment, he picked up his glass once more and began to sip casually as if he had never said a single thing. Eyes closed, he sat down the glass.

"Depends on what?" I replied. What had it really depended on. The weather, our moods, the star constellations? Whatever it was, I had a swift hint of curiosity to what it was. I also set down my glass, wanting to know what was lingering in his deepest thoughts. After a few moments of what seemed like intense thought, he glanced over at me.

"Well, do you want to explore the northern part of this continent," Kratos requested more then asked. Shifting uneasily I thought for a few moments and just eyed him. Northern Part of this continent? Was he mistaken or just short minded. Where our home sat was at one of the most northern most tips of this piece of land.

"How would we do that?" I wondered. Kratos seemed puzzled for a length of time before actually looking back over at me. He seemed startled that we were that far north. Was he disoriented on our location? I sighed and anticipated his answer.

"Oh, that's right, must have slipped my mind," He spoke meekly. It was odd, but whatever. Closing my eyes for a few seconds, I thought about both bases in the distant ice caps and the other one in the scorching desert. Two different places, two different stories.

"If it's all right with you, I'd like to check on my old bases to make sure it is still disabled and no one is making residence there," Declaring that to Kratos, I stood up a bit. If an evil plotted anything, that would be the place to strike. And besides, the awkward silence between the duo of us was unsettling and we had to have something to do then just sit here floating around ideas.

"Then I shall accompany you," He suggested standing up alongside me. Heh, he knew I would bring him along with me even if I had to drag him onto a Rheaird. I didn't feel safe without him alongside me, I was that close to him.

"I knew you would say that," I admitted.

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o Flash Back o.o..o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

"You see those rivers? They all join together to feed into the mass oceans. If even one were to wither, every one of them would be affected."

Mithos starred blankly at his sister, a little stunned. I sat alongside Kratos, just gazing at the embers and Martel. It was late night, and it wouldn't be safe to stay at this campsite for long. Kratos nodded in agreement to what Martel was saying. I looked over at the river she was talking about. It was so small and fragile. I immensely doubted it would ever grow into anything other then a small stream.

"But that river is so small Martel! I doubt if it were to be destroyed the other waterways would suffer," Something other then rivers was on Mithos' mind. He looked downward sadly. My heart felt for the half elf. The three of us had been exiled just for the fact we were half elven and half human.

"Mithos, every life has a purpose," She spoke contentedly running her hand through his yellow hair. I looked over at Kratos who was leaning against a log, with Noishe by his side. The small protozoan made small affectionate sounds to his owner.

"Martel's right," I replied uneasily. I was lying. I knew if any of us were to die, the only ones to be effected would be the rest of us. But that was saying the most. The un-caring mercenary who sat a few feet away from me could care less if our lives were in peril.

"You don't believe that Yuan! You're just agreeing with her because you like her," Mithos spoke stubbornly. My heart suddenly beat rapidly. That little twerp... I glanced over at Martel who had turned a light scarlet. Mithos was right, I did like her. She was absolutely breath taking in the firelight and even the moonlight.

"I..." I trailed off starring at the two siblings. Martel gave a reassuring smile back at me as if to say it was all right. Nodding my head, I looked over at Mithos who held Martel's panpipe close in hand. Before he could even say anything, I knew what he would request.

"Sis, can you play a song?" He asked leaning against her. A smile flickered over her already content face. With a gentle nod, she extending her hand and took the panpipe from her brother and then brought it up slowly to her mouth. Within moments, she was playing a melodic song. Her songs were just a mirrored reflection of herself. Beautiful and complex.

".." Mithos had drifted asleep leaning against her. She continued to play for a few more moments then retired the panpipe to her side. Her gaze reached where I sat.

"I'm going to retire for the night, hope you have sweet dreams," She said, slightly blushing. I nodded, nervously and in a few seconds she had fallen asleep alongside her brother. Waiting for a few seconds to make sure they were in a doze I spoke to myself.

"I will. Any dream is sweet when you're in it..." My voice trailed off as I starred at the roaring flames. It was a relaxing night but then Kratos suddenly spoke for the first time that night. He had gotten up and sat down right next to me.

"Do you really believe every life has an importance?" He asked. His voice showed no emotion. Nothing at all, just an empty hollow voice. I thought a bit, then cleared my throat, and attempted to speak in a soft voice not to wake up Martel or Mithos.

"Before I met Martel, no I didn't believe it. But now I do believe it," I replied, not looking at him but looking at her sleeping body. I heard a gruff sound from the mercenary as he crossed his arms.

"This journey is starting to be more then I bargained for," I heard him say simply. Turning my head to face the auburn companion, puzzlement filled my eyes.

"You can leave anytime. No one's stopping you. You can collect your pay and leave, just like a human," I spoke bitterly. At first I thought Kratos would be offended, but he wasn't. A smirk rolled across his face as he starred at me then to the roaring flame.

"I won't leave just yet," Was all he said. I shrugged then looked beyond the flames, beyond Martel to the small creek. It was so peaceful.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

"Yuan, are you all right?"

I was jolted from my memories of the river from a sudden hand on my shoulder. I looked over and saw Kratos starring in concern at me. Shaking my head, I smiled back at him. It was a smile to show him I was fine, and there was no need for worry.

"No, I'm fine," I replied, as carefree as I could. Too bad Kratos could see right through me. With a stern look at me, he sighed and ran a hand through his hair then looked at the river once more.

"That river holds many memory for you," He declared. I glanced back over at him. It was the main reason we had decided to build the home here. Sighing heavily, I felt a comforting warmth standing so close to him.

"Yes, " Was all I could reply with. Just standing next to this river I could hear Martel's sweet song drifting in the air. It filled my ears and I remembered the encounter I had with her before Kratos was given his eternal life back. My ears twitched as I listened to the song. It was a song about the beauty of all mana. Just like her. She respected every living creatures, even humans who despised against her kind.

"Kratos... I asked Martel to bring you back," I spoke, almost in a shake. Kratos looked over at me, trying to understand what I was telling him. He seemed utterly confused, but he awaited an explanation. He deserved one. "I was with her, almost dream-like, I pleaded for her to come back but she protested saying the life would die without her guiding light. So then I asked for you to come..."

"So you're the one who brought me back," He spoke almost amused. "And I thought it was just a trial to see if my will power was strong enough to live."

"No Kratos, you were gone," I replied. Just thinking about that moment sent shivers down my back. I had felt so alone, and empty the minute he departed from me. But as I stood next to him, I knew I had no reason to be afraid of anything. He was here.

"Then thank you Yuan," He spoke contently running a hand through my hair. Twitching my ears I could hear Martel's words in my mind, replaying over and and over again _'You've got a loving heart Yuan. Please don't keep it locked inside just because I'm not the one you can share it with. I will always remember you, and will always cherish the time we had. But you have to move on, remembering our memories, but also making new ones,'. _Had she really had meant it was all right to be with Kratos.

"You do know how much I care about you right," I spoke, unsure if he really truly knew how much I cared about him. If it came down to it, I would risk my life to save him. And I was hoping he wouldn't do the same, I wasn't worth saving. He deserved to live anyhow, he had a son.

"Of course," Kratos chimed, still running his hand through my hair. A sigh of relief came over me again. At least he knew how deeply I cared for him. I cared about him almost as much as I did Martel. But this time I wouldn't let him be taken away from me again. I had failed Martel and Kratos once. But that would never happen again. I swore on my life he'd never leave my side. Since we had been talking, I had completely forgotten my suggestion to go visit my bases, it seemed alone time with Kratos was more important.

"I'm so glad you're still here," I spoke contently. Martel's song faded. But before it left, I could feel Martel's presence. I now knew that she was protecting both of us.

"I'll never leave, I've told you that," Kratos laughed as he wrapped his arms around me. I felt safe once again, and smirked slightly.

"I never get tired of hearing you say that."

* * *

**Author's Note: **

The inner fan girl of me towards this pairing is squeaking so much when Kratos and Yuan are together. I just put in a hint of Kharlan as a test to actually see if I can manage to write a fic about it. I might be able to if I study ever last part of Tales to make sure I have the facts write, and then add to it. I dunno. I need all yours advice on that. Anyways, I just loved the part with the pastries. I bet they are as sweet as Yuan x3! Anyways; Please Review. And the song Drop It Like It's Hot just came on. Lol, this song reminds me of the seventh grade social. My teacher was dancing to it. Man was that funny, I mean seeing him dance was so funny! And he tries to be cool. Oh well. Please Review.

nife- Actually the world is epilogue butI don't really care LOl x3 Thanks for the kind words x)

Raven- COOKIE! Yuan! Lookie! I got a cookie! It shall be my snack and inspiration for the seventh chapter...

great Beaver - wh00t! Thank you!

origin- Ha! You sound more relaxed in your reviews then on aim towards me, LOL. Yea, couldn't keep Kratos dead. Nope.

Martel- Oooh it's not over yet. A few more chapters.

Lord- I emailed you x) And erm thanks for the review

Mary Beth- Lol take a breath. here's the chapter as promised!


	7. Chapter 7: Questionable Actions

**after writing the Lawn mower song and Distant Worlds and later Transculent Devotion I was in the mood to go back to my all time favorite story i have writen, Eternal Souls. My friend and nife keep telling me to put lemons in this x3 My friend was like writing lemons to me and then she drew a pic of Yuan and Kratos making out O.O It was awesome, then she got me to Like Fruits Basket x3 Shigure is mine! Shigure You Perv! (smacks him and bursts out laughing) erm anyways; I only read the first manga -.-; my friend said she'll let me read her twelve. Yesh!**

**My inspiration for this chapter? My confusion in real life. Yea, two guys, one broken heart -.-; Erm whatever, I won't bore you with my petty problems. If you wanto hear them or see Yuan fan art go to my Xanga page (link on bio) screename; Katandshadow. The layout is so spiffeh; and yes It's under construction. (i really hope my computer doesn't freeze when I put up these stories cause that's the only reason i'm going on this early in the day. Lol, anyways, onward to the Kratos/Yuan stuff. THey are so made for each other O.o Seriously, duuudeee.**

**Nall: You going to be ok right? No more mental break downs?**

**Me: Nope**

**Nall: Good cause I doubted neither Yuan or Kratos or even Drew Carey wanted to go in a hottub with you. Of all people.**

**me: Asshole..**

**Nall: Bitch x3**

**Me: Bastard (stuck up face)**

**Nall: Slut**

**Me: O.O That is going to far, so shut your vile mouth before I shut it for you! No vulguar language in my little author notes thingies that are starring at me. Ugh! I'm lactos intolerate and I had a freaking glass of milk. Death I tell you.**

**Warnings; Yuan's strong Language (as You can tell from Nall's and I's outburts x3) Some Shonen-ai; Spoilers ; Suggestive Themes (thought like saying that )**

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"I am _so_ sorry!"

Clenching my teeth, I slammed the shower door on Kratos' face simply outraged. It was early in the morning and for once I woke up beforehand to get ready for the up-coming day. Actually, more so to beat Kratos to the bathroom seeing he always uses all of the shampoo. Well, it was my turn this morning to beat Kratos at his own game, until he walked into the bathroom, half-asleep, and being the dumb ass he is, walk right into the shower when I was in it. This moment didn't last for two seconds before I completely flipped out and smacked Kratos upside the head until he woke up fully.

Let's just say it wasn't a pretty sight. Never had I seen Kratos scamper, yes scamper, away from me. Jackass. He never looks where he is going or anything. Just barges in thinking the whole world will stop for him on his command. Basically, I think he knew I would.

"Damned Pervert," I hissed clenching the shampoo with my left hand. Running it through my hair uneasily, I just scowled at the wall, still furious. This wasn't my idea of a good morning. And for Kratos just to walk in on me in the shower. Just the thought disgusted me. Looking down, I noticed I had clenched the shampoo bottle so hard all of it's contents were gushing out onto the floor. Grinning, I continued to waste it, as a brutal payback.

"Oh, poor Kratos. He has no shampoo," I couldn't help but snicker in laughter. Of course it wasn't cruel-intended. More so a joke, or something to make him know how mad I was that he didn't pay attention to his surroundings.

"You used all the shampoo!"  
I shrieked and jumped up, startled and banged my head against the shower head. Might I add that hitting your head against a shower in shock doesn't feel good at all. Starring blankly for a few seconds, I cracked open to the door and saw Kratos standing in the bathroom, like a druken zombie. Usually I didn't loose my cool, ok I admit I'm short-tempered but this time It was a really good reason.

"Why the hell are you still in here!" I hollered, glaring at Kratos, head sticking out of the shower. Right now I wanted to wring his next for being such a _pervert. _Just calling Kratos a pervert was shock enough. Most of the time he respected other people's privacy but never, and I mean never, mine.

"...You used all the shampoo on me!" Was all he could yell back. Water dripped off my hair and landed on the bathroom floor as I scowled deafly at Kratos. How could he talk about shampoo when he was standing in the damn bathroom when I was taking a shower. Dumbo.

"Oh forget the freakin' shampoo! Get out!" I hissed bitterly. I was trying a threat, but what good would a threat do when I was in the shower. Kratos was really starting to act too much like Zelos. The bisexual giglo from hell. Yep, a perfect description for Zelos and now Kratos.

"That was my shampoo Yuan. I told you that," Kratos spoke coolly. Didn't he take a frigin clue! I was in the shower and awfully disturbed at the fact Kratos was attempting to gawk at me. That was just, so unlike Kratos. What had I done to him. Shaking my head, I squinted my eyes in fury.

"Shut the fuck up about the shampoo and get out of the damn bathroom and leave me alone!" Hissing cruelly, I starred at Kratos, water still hitting my back. This was such a waste of water and a well deserved shower. Still waiting for a reply, I actually waited a long time before Kratos actually spoke once more.

"Next time use your own shampoo," Kratos replied. He still didn't get that what he was doing was so wrong and disturbing beyond words. No words could express the discomfort I felt with Kratos in the bathroom with me. I just wanted to torture him to death because of this.

"I'll use whatever shampoo I want! Why are you still here! Do you enjoy staring at me or something you fucked up weirdo," I scowled. My temper had flared. Usually we never got so tense around each other but why the hell was Kratos still in the bathroom. He hadn't meant he was sorry. For all I knew he knew I was in the shower. That just made even more pissed.

"..." He didn't reply. I was fearing that. I just starred at Kratos, with the most seething look I could possibly conjure up. Still no reply. The water was starting to get to cold. Too cold. I hated cold, hot I could deal with, but I hated the cold. Reaching out for the temperature control with my left hand, I flipped it to hot, not taking my eyes off Kratos. After a few minutes the water turned sheer cold.

"Cold!" I hissed jumping up startled and slammed the shower door, now oblivious of the oddly perverted Kratos. I flipped every lever I could but the water remained as cold as ice. Perfect, just perfect. Glaring at the shower, I cursed it under my breath then reached my head out from the shower to look at Kratos once more.

"What did you do to the shower," Annoyance filled my voice. The water was so cold it felt like I was going to freeze. Just perfect, in a shower with freezing water while Kratos just stares at me, as if I wants me to come out. A bitter taste came over my tongue as I gagged and banged my head against the wall.

"Nothing," Kratos replied, now seeming angry. Yea sure riiight, like he didn't do anything to the shower. Liar. Just a damn perverted liar. That's all he was. And to think I always respected Kratos' respect for others. But this just destroyed all value he had in my eyes.

"Just get out! Leave me alone! I don't need you starring at me, and this water is freakin' cold," I hissed, chattering my teeth. I was expecting no response or just a stubborn look, but he seemed stunned. Ugh, why couldn't he just leave. Just leave the room and leave me to my misery now?

"? Do you need a towel?" He asked. A duh! Of course I needed a freaking towel. Looking at him with a obvious look, Kratos pulled a towel from the counter, which I found odd seeing I didn't put it there, and passed it over to me and turned around.

Finally, some respect. Sighing, I shut the water off and wrapped the towel around me and just leaned against the shower bitterly. What the hell was Kratos up to. This topped everything stupid he had ever done in his life. I mean, Kratos, a pervert. Stalker was more like it. Kratos the Stalker, what an odd ring it had to it.

"Are you done yet?" I heard Kratos ask. Right, I'm sure he didn't want me to be done. Sighing I got out of the shower and brushed past him, still furious and slammed the bathroom door behind me, almost breaking down yet another door in our house.

"Kratos,"

Clenching my teeth, I got dressed and went outside. It was a nice day to say the most. I would probably have invited Kratos on a day to just enjoy ourselves and explore the land, but not now. Right now I didn't want to think of doing anything with that seraphim. Twitching, I sat down next to the river and sighed.

"Why is he acting so unusual and perverted? It's just not like Kratos," I yawned and looked at the river as I sat next to it, watching the cascading waves completely burrying the stones. Closing my eyes I just listened to the sound of the water. It took my mind off of Kratos. Took my mind off everything that bugged me.

It was a few minutes before my ears twitched. At first thinking it was Kratos, I rose my hand in a 'rude' gesture and didn't turn around. Sighing meekly, not hearing a reply I turned around and blasting through my ears was Martel's song. I just starred at the house, shaking immensely.

"Martel?" I asked, almost in a whisper as the song played in my ears, echoing the river. These certain occurrences were happening more often lately. She had found a way to communicate with me when I wanted closer, or comfort. And it worked. Her song, her scent, anything about her relaxed me.

"Why is Kratos acting so odd?" I asked, almost speaking to the air. Her scent played like flames in my nostrils then abruptly left with a jolt. The song stopped and I heard footsteps. Glaring at the river angrily for Martel's departure, I whirled around, standing up and starred at Kratos walking over.

"Now what do you want!" I hissed once more, clenching my fists. He seemed startled that I was still furious. Well, of course, I'm sure anyone would be angry with Kratos just standing in the bathroom observing you. The sour taste on my tongue returned.

"Yuan I have a good reason for what happened," He began. A good reason? Man did I want to hear this excuse! What, did an evil moth fly into the house, bent on world destruction and it was heading my way. Ignoring my drifting thoughts I gazed back.

"Well, go ahead. What's your superior excuse?" I spoke raising an eyebrow. I was expecting a quizk response but silence came from the seraphim. His ruby eyes just starred at me. That bothered me even more. Why was he looking at me? What the hell was on his mind.

"..." He still didn't say anything. Well, he had no excuse. He was just being a pervert. I felt like smacking him or flipping out but remained silent, still awaiting his ingenious excuse.

"Well, there was this moth-" He began. What the hell. I felt like kicking him for saying that. It was my joke guess, but had he really stuck with the most absurd excuse for starring at me in the shower? A moth, riiight, and like I said, it was bent on world destruction.

"Beant on world destruction," I spoke coldly. Kratos seemed stunned. At first I thought it was a stunned as why the hell I would say that, but he turned a scarlet red. Oh my lord. He really was going to use that excuse of me.

"How did you know?" He asked, not even joking. Crossing my arms, I watched Kratos look nervously from me then to our surroundings, the river and the quant forest that surrounded us. Just a small forest, it hid us from the outside world.

"You used that on me when we first met," I spoke, almost without thinking. It was true. At Meltokio I had asked Kratos why he was unemployed and he had joked that a moth had taken over the war lords beant on world destruction. My stomach suddenly felt, my anger towards Kratos was gone, again.

"You remember _that_," He asked stunned, almost in a laugh. I still didn't find his actions a laugh but I just remained starring at Kratos. He gave me a gentle smile, then seemed guilty. Ugh, my worst fear, Kratos just was acting perverted because he wanted to. Terrific, I was living with a pervert.

"Yes, I do remember," I spoke softly. Looking sorry he walked over to me. Ok, now he was a little too close. At least I was thankful he had awoken in the shower before he did something really stupid. But then, of course, my mind drifted of suddenly. What would he have done if he thought it was a dream. I began to shake nervously.

"I'm sorry... heh," He spoke wrapping his arms around me. My first reaction would be to smack him upside the head, like I always seemed to want to do, but I just melted in his grasp. It was like will power was lost every time we got close. And that honestly scared me. I couldn't even get the courage up to smack him when he held me. I shook my head and waited for him to continue. "There was no excuse for what I did, well except for the moth, but you ruined that one." He spoke and smiled at me.

All I could do was smile back at him. I completely forgot how enraged I was at him and just held him closely. Never did I want to let go. I closed my eyes and bent my head against his shoulder. Almost in a quick response he laughed and stroked my hair.

"See, no harm done..." He was obviously nervous, and embarrassed from his odd display of behavior earlier. Rash behavior even from Kratos. I didn't really care what he had to say, as long as he didn't let me go. His embrace was so warm.

"Right," I spoke, not even knowing what I said. He had that effect on me. He didn't always have it though. First time I met him I wanted to kill him right then and here in Sybak. But that would be rude. And I wasn't wanting to show my screwed up side to Martel. Although I bet she knew how protective I was over her, and now how protective I was over Kratos.

"Mhm," He chimed and kissed me slightly. I couldn't he stand there anymore. I just held him onto him. I was completely lost. So strong but so easy to break down when it came to him. I was so angry and pissed at him, but yet I yearned for him. What a mess I was getting myself into. A mess that would slowly turn into something I'm not sure I can handle. But for some reason Kratos seemed awfully ready. I sighed and just closed my eyes once more. Man did he make me forget everything.

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Author's Note:

Ya Damn Kratos! You didn't tell me Yuan was in the shower! x3 I would have teamed up with you and dragged him (sighs hopelessly). Heh, poor Yuan, being stalked in the shower by kratos x3! And erm anways, I kinda hope you liked this. I ain't much of a lemon person, and NO i did not make this a lemon O.O Still not sure I can actually right those. Especially seeing half my reviewers dis-approve but the other part wants it. Anyways, Yea. Review? And You can tell their relatonship is still growing. Mwahaahah! And my love for the pairing is growing along with it. Growing Alot. (thinks back to sleepover at thoughts about whip cream) heheh. Ok Review Reply time!

nife: This was as close to a lemon as I could get, I do find Kratos' curiosty towards the unknown spiffeh x)

Raven- Like I said, (puts to chapter) here's more for ya fangirl.. Yesh so kawaii x))


	8. Chapter 8: A Choice Made

Heh, Thanks meh beloved friends for some funky inspiration. Yea, I'm actually writing this. Lol! Well, duh this is Eternal Souls Chapter Eight. I shall sing now. Singing sounds ubberly spiffeh. And alas, tomorrow I will know the truth about my boyfriend, it burns me inside to thinks He's going but maybe it's for the best. Ugh, just thinking about it hurts inside. Ugh, a spiffeh Kratos and Yuan story might cheer me up, lol! Yes, I am being extremely hyper right now. It's like two in the morning and I'm as spunky as ever. Especially seeing I'm finally out of humor writers block for FPOD. Lol, I love that abbreviation. Ok, maybe I should stop ranting before I fall asleep. Only writing stories keeps me awake. And I can stay up all night for my reviewers. I wish I had wireless internet. Sigh... Anyways let's get started! And meh beloved friend, no Yuan won't jump out the window, I'll save that for Sabbatical, LOL!

Nall: Finally, you rant so much I'm surprised someone hasn't killed you yet. Honestly, you don't go away. You pesky girl.

Me: I'd rather be hated for what I am then loved for what I'm not.

Nall: Such a cheesy line.

Me: Just cut it out you muse!

Warnings: (prepare yourself O.O) Shonen-Ai Fluffeh, suggestive Themes, Spoilers, Language. Also beware of my weird sentences and grammar. Beware all of those things and you'll be fine x) (crowd is in background chanting "LEMON LEMON") I FREAKING HEAR YOU CROWD... God...

"Kratos..." 

I slowly became aware of the fact I was waking up. But still I didn't open my eyes. Just sitting in bed made everything feel better. The room felt incredibly cold this morning, like I had already ranted, I hated everything about the cold. Chattering my teeth in annoyance, I rolled over, eyes tightly shut and curled up, trying to warm up. At first it seemed like an abundance amount of pillows had collected on my bed to keep me warm but I pushed any worry out of my mind. Twitching uneasily, I felt the scratchiness of the blankets touch my skin. It was an odd feeling, but I also shrugged it off. Today was one of the first days Kratos hadn't banged against my door to wake me up, and I could lay here and relax.

Yawning again, I tried to fall back into slumber, but I just laid there, curled up in blankets and pillows, cold. I tried to pull the blankets around me tighter but they wouldn't budge. It was odd, the blankets always came on my tag command. Everything was odd this morning, and foolishly I ignored them. It had been a few moments before I opened my eyes and starred at the wall and the window. Strong rays of sunlight beamed at me, almost blinding me. Squinting my eyes, I tried to pull the blankets again, but still no leeway. Snarling, I grabbed them tightly and I couldn't have guessed what rolled against me along with the blankets.

"What the hell are you doing in my bed Kratos!" I screamed smacking the sleeping seraphim across the face and grabbed all the blankets and wrapped them around me. The dumb seraphim was wearing odd silk lilac night clothes and seemed in deep sleep. Twitching, I bent over and smacked him upside the head once more, this time harder.

"Ow! Yuan why did you do that, I was sleeping and," He stopped and just starred up at me. Slapping my hand across my own face in vexation, I just scowled back at Kratos. This had taken the whole idea of Kratos being a pervert to a whole new level. Kratos just in the bed with me made me want to smack him, yet again. Or perhaps kick him.

"Kratos, why the hell are you sleeping in my bed!" I demanded, holding the blankets around me with all my fight. Still, no reply came from Kratos. He just starred at me, with wide eyes. His face turned into a deep scarlet as he continued to watch me. Feeling uneasier, I grabbed the blankets tighter.

"I, don't know," Replied Kratos. I twitched, how could he not know why he had got up in the middle of the night and got in my bed. Just the the thought of sleeping next to Kratos made me sick to my stomach. Sure I loved him and would do anything for him, but this! The freaking pervert.

"How can you not know!" I hissed back. Kratos' face turned serious all of a sudden. That sent a shiver down my back as he eyed me. My heart began to race as my ear jerked, not wanting to know why Kratos was starring so intensely at me. Another moment passed with silence, I felt like shrieking out all the cusses I could but I wanted answers from him, even if they involved Moths. Good Lord.

"Yuan.." He spoke in a whisper. My stomach lurched as he chanted my name. I felt like chiming back a rude comment but I remained silent, watching his eyes look at me. Feeling so uneasy with this whole situation I tugged the blankets tighter. If I tugged them any harder I swore I would cut off circulation. Shaking, I just watched Kratos. His night clothes were just so ridicules. He never changed at night, and that creped me out even more. "I want you"

Those words rang out in my head as I shrieked and fell against the cabinet in shock. My heart jumped out of my chest as Kratos spoke so fondly of me. Almost in fear, I tried to look at him , but just looking at him after saying 'he wanted me' was punishment enough.

"What do you mean?" I asked, fearing what Kratos wanted. Twitching, I stood up straight once more, with a staggering look at the fowl cabinet. Sighing, I looked back at Kratos who was still watching me. It was starting to creep me out. But every second that passed, I started to like it more and more. Which was considerably odd.

"You know what I mean, Yuan. Actually, I'm not sure if you do. Seeing I doubt Martel and you," He began. My eyes shut as he spoke. A cold shiver rang down my back as I felt like hollering at Kratos for being such a pervert. No, that wasn't the word to use, more like horny idiot. And to think I would call Kratos that! I just looked at Kratos as he eyed me.

"Kratos, what the hell are you talking about," Honestly I did know what he was talking about. But I didn't want to know. He knew me all to well, my strengths my weaknesses and everything about me and Martel. My heart suddenly thumped louder as I bit down on my lip trying to calm myself down. I was a nervous wreck just standing here, with blankets wrapped around me. Which that brought up another question. Why in the world was I only wearing blankets!

"Yuan, you know what I mean..." Was all he said. Gulping I watched him, just sit there starring at me. It pained me to yell at Kratos seeing I cared about him so much, but what he was saying was far beyond the care I thought I had for him. Sweating, I just watched him and stuttered.

"But Kratos," I began, sweat rolling down my face. This was such an awkward position to be with Kratos. I wasn't really expecting an answer from the seraphim but he seemed pretty fixed on his ideals. And that was starting to frighten me.

"But what Yuan?" He spoke, with a hint of compassion. Great, just great. He was questioning me. I had no set answer to my own question. But Kratos didn't seemed like the perverted Zelos, he actually seemed compassionate and caring. Shaking even more, I twitched.

"Why?" Was all I could come up with. Just skipping around the subject. Fighting on an empty stomach, but actually not eating Kratos' cooking before hearing something as sickening as this must be a good thing. Pushing a strand of hair out of my vision, I watched as Kratos looked intently at me.

"Why? Because Yuan, I love you," He spoke softly. Ugh, the guilt trick. But he didn't seem to be using it like most people would. It just seemed like the right thing to say at a time like this. I lowered my gaze down at the floor, he always seemed to make me feel bad. But at least he wasn't holding me, i completely lost control every time we got close, but to think Kratos wanted to get closer.

"Kratos, I know that. But why, er 'this'?" I asked casually. We had known each other for four thousand years now but it did seem awfully odd. But that question never was answered before Kratos got up, walked over, almost dream like and planted a kiss on my forehead and spoke softly.

"You don't want to?" He asked. I felt so nervous and uneasy, I wanted to scream "Damnit, of course I don't want to, but he had the dulling effect on me. I couldn't just say no to him after everything was had been threw. The good the bad, and now this. I sighed and looked at him.

"Whatever," I simply said. I felt like running far, so far away from Kratos and his odd ideas of enjoyment, but my legs were numb and all I could see was the caring seraphim beaming at me. Whatever was meant to be, I would let faith run it's course. Whatever that may be. I sighed and heard Kratos reply briskly.

"No really Yuan, if you don't want to, I understand," He muttered looking away. Had I offended him? I seemed startled that he would actually ask if I minded but at the same time I felt let down. Gulping, I watched Kratos turn away and lean against the cabinet, what seemed like disappointed.

"If you really want to Kratos," Was all I could force out of my mouth. Twitching, I watched Kratos whip around. At first I thought he wanted it but then suddenly seemed depressed and shook his head.

"No... it's ok Yuan, I understand," And he left the room and closed the door softly.

I was left standing in the room, alone. A pang of guilt suddenly overwhelmed me. I released, once Kratos had left, I really had wanted it. Which I found really disturbing. I really cared for Kratos that much that I was willing to. But my attitude got the best of both of us and had offended Kratos. Sighing, I got dressed and sat down on my bed and looked out the window, now guilty.

"What do I do?" I spoke limply. What I wanted to do was just sit here and wait for Kratos to come back and wrap my arms around him, and just hold him for the rest of our lives. That's all I really wanted from him and me. Complete Bliss.

Sighing, I got up and walked down to the kitchen. Stepping on the last step, I stopped, startled. The steps weren't creaking like they always did. Had Kratos really fixed the stairs knowing how much they annoyed me. I then felt even more guilty, I couldn't give Kratos the one thing he wanted since Anna died. Lowering my head, I walked into the kitchen and glanced over to where Kratos was. He was in his usual lilac clothes now. Much more fitting.

"Kratos, I'm sorry, I was being an ass," I complained sitting down next to him. Glimpsing up at me, Kratos sighed and shook his head in protest. Auburn hair flipped about when he shook his head and he seemed so helpless.

"No Yuan, I totally understand. You don't have to apologize," He answered. I didn't want him to say that. I was starting to want him to ask if I was ready. But after my odd display earlier, I'm sure he would never ask again. That bothered me so much. I never thought before speaking.

"Kratos, I wasn't thinking," Protesting, I took Kratos hand trying to cheer him up. No response, he just held his hand in mine weakly. Eyes darted at me, it was really pathetic how much he loved me. But who was I to call him pathetic? After all these years that he could have just left, he was still with me.

"Yuan, you already said no," He spoke looking down, now ignoring my attempts to cheer him up. Squinting my eyes, a tad frustrated, I straightened up in my chair, tilted my head to look at Kratos and spoke softly.

"Kratos, I never said no." I leaned over and placed a gentle kiss upon his lips and waited for a re action. No response at all. He was taking too long, and It was annoying me, either he was going to act like himself or I would ignore him.

"Humph," He spoke in response and exchanged the gesture, wrapping his arms around me. Laughing a bit at his casual 'humph' I continued and then spoke, almost shaking.

"You know, I just can't say no to you," I spoke embracing once more. Kratos seemed cheery, finally. His response was long waited between breaths. Well anyways, his hair as screwed up again, I took full guilt for it. But whatever. I didn't honestly mind anything at the moment. All I wanted was Kratos, all these unsolved feelings I had for so long towards him could finally be solved once and for all. Did I really love him? I was starting to find out.

"I was hoping you were like that," He spoke cooly holding me close. All I could do was smile meekly at him again and laugh.

"Anything for you Kratos..."I spoke as he ran his fingers through my hair, trying to comfort me even more. I wanted more, and I knew he did also. And that's just what happened.

And the rest happened at a quickened pace. It was complete bliss, and at the end I was staring at the ceiling, almost falling back asleep. Shaking I yawned and spoke softly.

"I'm going to take a nap," I yawned and began to drift into a sleep. But before I could drift into deep thoughts, I felt Kratos run a hand through my hair and kissed my forehead and ran his hands through my hair.

"Sweet dreams, Yuan..."

Author's Note;  
You happy now you crowd? (crowd cheering and throwing balloons in the air) Wow, that was so hard even though I left out all the spiffeh parts. ha ha ha! Email me at if you want the full version. Which I have, and staring at, Mwahahahah! lol! I feel like a weirdo! Anyways, meh beloved reviewers, hate me if you must, but come on, I didn't put that much in so you flipped out, but they knew each other for 4,000 years or more so come on, lol! I am so odd. and flamers, enjoy your little games. Ha ha Ha! I keep squeaking every time I read Kratos and Yuan Tales Of Symphonia stories. man, there needs to be more! Good Gosh! Lol, anyway, please review.


	9. Chapter 9: Life Comes At You Fast

**Inspiration! From some drop dead sexy pictures my friend Dark showed me of Yuan and Kratos. Oh my gosh, I had like ten heart attacks, they were all so hot, and oh my gosh. They make Yuan and Kratos look so perfect together. I like squealed at every pic. Lol! I'm on a search for loads of Yuan and Kratos fan art, but they must to be together, that makes the picture worth wild. Yea. And my friend Sango said something really funny about the movie 'The 40 Year old Virgin' and she goes 'Well Yuan's the 4,000 year old virgin'. I died laughing, and yes dark, your hand puppets inspired me x3 Lol I just love Kratos and Yuan pairing. Ugh! See I won't shut up. I just keep talking, and talking and talking. I such a pathetic person. And on the first day back I gonna print of this awesome pic of Yuan and Kratos and run up to my friend, Ron, and go "Lookie!" and he'll be like "Is that two guys.." and i'd be like "Hell Yea!" and he'd be like "Omigosh Caitlin o.O" **

Nall: Katra is stuck on a team with mostly guys, smart guys, tall guys, short guys, nerd guys and hot guys.

me: No guys on my team are hott! They are UgLy. But they are my friends. hehe, I can't wait for J. allen's random redneck jokes. I'm starting to like the idea of this whole team with no friends except Kim. I must concentrate of my schoolwork, but I got guys on my team. It's really funny. Lol!

Nall: SHUT UP!

Me: Don't make me get Shigure in here!

Nall: That damn dog?

me: (singing quote) highschool girls, highschool girls, 1 2 3 high school girls!

Nall: He's such a perv..

me: Exactly! But I will always love you Nall! (squeezes him)

Nall: Just my luck..

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**Eternal Souls  
Chapter Nine: Life Comes at You Fast

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"Yuan, yuan wake up," I felt a gentle hand shake my shoulder as I cracked open an eye. Yawning, I rolled over and saw Kratos beaming down at my sleeping body.

It was morning, and I was entagled in Kratos' blankets. It seemed I was still in his room. My nap was longer then I expected and Kratos seemed overjoyed that I had woken up at last. My head hurt a little, but I shrugged it off and looked up at Kratos. His hair was re-fixed, and he looked as energetic as ever, seeing he got all the pleasure. I blinked for a few moments then just gave a small smile up at him.

"Morning Kratos," I managed and then closed my eyes again, trying to go over what happened. The thoughts and feelings from what had happened earlier lingered with me. Kratos had been so caring, and even now he was acting so alive. Just like he used to with Anna and his son.

"Glad you're awake," He spoke, still beaming. Kratos had turned more caring lately. I enjoyed that, I couldn't stand when he kept all his feelings and discomfort to himself. I yawned and sat up in the bed. Kratos seemed very cheery seeing he sat down next to me and started to stroke my hair.

"How long was I asleep?" I asked, wanting to know how strong the effect of Kratos had been on me. Kratos paused for a moment, seemingly in thought, but went back to running his hands through my hair. I felt safe and warm near him, and would never give that up for anyone.

"Three or four hours, you look starving," Kratos replied, alittle worried. Shaking my head, he leaned my head against Kratos and thought for a few moments. Three of four hours? It had to be late a fternoon or even possibly early evening. Kratos had that strong of an effect on me I passed out far longer then I wanted to. I remembered his last words before I had drifted into slumber. He told me to have sweet dreams, and that's exactly what I had. Dreams of him. Dreams of us, together.

"No, I'm sorry I overslept. You just took a lot out of me," I spoke, weakly. Although I had passed out for that long time, I still was a bit groggy. I looked back at Kratos who had a faint smile roll across his file as he wrapped his arm around my back and held me close. He honestly had taken alot of my energy from me, and alothough I didn't admit it, I was starving. Even hungry enough to eat Kratos' cooking. That was a shock seeing how horribly he cooked.

"You get used to it Yuan," He spoke planting a soft kiss on my forehead. All I could was smile and sigh. Tightly shutting my eyes, just sitting there my mind drifted off into other thoughts. To think I would end up with Kratos, the one I used to hate and despies. It seemed like such an irony. But now I would never leave Kratos' side.

"I suppose," I spoke, re opening my eyes and watched Kratos get up and walk into the kitchen. At first I didn't get up and follow him, just sat there, starring at the wall. It had really happened, and no regrets from my side at all. Wondering what Kratos would cook, I just stayed where I was. Kratos had the nicer room between the two of us. His room was on the otherside of the house so the morning sun rays wouldn't bother him. Lucky. But his room had something about it. Trying to think what it was, I just slightly grinned. It wasn't the room, it was just the fact that I had actually spent some 'quality' time with Kratos in here what made it so special.

"Yuan, you coming?" I heard Kratos spoke from the other room. Being blasted into reality, I nodded to myself and got up, and walked into the other room, to see Kratos.

Kratos sat with hundreds of pancakes on multiple plates. So much pancakes. Kratos' gazed went from his stack of pancakes to me and grinned. I hesitated but then smiled back. To think our relationship started out with a kiss.

"Why did you make so many! We can't possibly eat this-" I began sitting down but Kratos had kissed me once more and I just shut up. Nothing I could say about pancakes was more important then being with Kratos. After a few seconds Kratos turned back to his pancake and smiled stabbing his fork into it.

"You told me pancakes are your favorite. So I made some for you," Kratos spoke calmly shoving a piece of the treat in his mouth. It was true, of all the things Kratos ever made, his pancakes were the only things worth even eating. To be honest, they were actually great.

"Hmm.. thank you Kratos," I spoke, trying to thank him for his efforts as I stabbed a pancake and put it on my plate. I began to eat but I didn't notice the whole time Kratos was watching me. Very Intently. Even if I had noticed, I wouldn't have minded. I loved Kratos so much, and even his odd habits I could ignore.

"Anytime," He chimed, looking back at his food. His ruby glance was now fixed on his food. I looked over at him and wandered into thoughts about us. Thoughts about everything we had been through, the summon spirits pacts, and so on. He had saved me countless times and I would never forget that. And I finally repayed him with saving him just a month ago. I yawned and contiuned to eat, still watching Kratos.

"Kratos, thanks," I spoke, in between bites. The seraphim looked over at me, surprised. He seemed confused on what I was thanking him for. In my mind it was obvious. I was thanking him for all his kindess and everything he had ever done for me. But it seemed alittle stupid to say it like that, so I left out my reason.

"For what?" He asked, as intriqued as ever. Everytime I was with Kratos I didn't want to talk, I just wanted to hold him close, but there were times for that. And this was not one of those times. I shook my head and looked out towards the window then at the big stack of pancakes and felt overwhelmed. He really did outdue hisself for me sometimes. But hey, I wasn't one to complain.

"For everything," I replied, grabbing another pancake. That's two out of five hundred. I had a low feeling that we'd never eat all these pancakes. But of course, we had our whole lives to eat them, and that relaxed me even more. I looked over at Kratos who was smiling now, syrup was all over his face. I tried not to laugh, I honestly tried, but It just happened. I laughed through my teeh set down my fork. Kratos tilted his head and looked around.

"What's so funny Yuan?" He asked, looking at me then glancing around the kitchen. He had so much syrup on him it was hard not to notice. He wasn't a clean eater, but still. It was worth the laughs just to see Kratos covered in syrup. Closing my eyes from laughing so hard, I tried to speak but had to take a deep breath before I could manage any intelligent words.

"You've got syrup all over your face," I spoke, trying not to laugh anymore. I rarely laughed, but this was such a laugh. Kratos seemed stunned and grabbed a napkin and rubbed it against his face. I nodded but then looked over as he grabbed his fork. I looked at his hand then noticed that the napkin had stuck to his face also. I couldn't hold it back, I bursted out laughing so hard as Kratos tried to pry the napkin from his face with his fork.

"Let me help before you hurt yourself," I managed, trying to calm him down. I reached out and tried to grab the napkin off his face but it wouldn't budge. Twitching I leaned in and started prying it off harder. After many attempts the napkin was off, but he was still all sticky. Knowing Kratos he would get another napkin stuck to him.

I starred at Kratos, as I just sat there, leaning over from where I had just got the napkin off him. We looked at each other for a few seconds, then without another thought, we both leaned in closer and another moment was shared. I just couldn't get enough of him lately. Every second, I wanted to be with him every second.

"Let's finish eating," Kratos spoke breaking away and jabbed at his pancake once more. I flushed a dark red, but tried to cover up my embarassment by shoving a large piece of pancake in my mouth. The flavor was awfully good this morning, like something Kratos didn't make. It tasted like something the Wonder Chef would make. Licking my lips, I pushed my plate away and yawned.

"I'm full," I spoke, just sitting next to Kratos. Kratos finished his pancakes.

"Is it off?" Kratos asked looking over at me. To be honest, he was covered with more syrup then when he had started with the napkin, and I was half to blame for that. Heh. Swiftly shaking my head, I grinned, trying to lighten my spirirts.

"No, it might not ever come off, I'll just have to lick it off everytime you have pancakes," I spoke, grinning. Kratos looked at me, spacless for a few minutes then gave a soft chuckle then looked at the hundreds of pancakes that laid in front of us. I looked over also and just starred at them. He was a fast cook, and it was sometimes so inconvient.

"I wouldn't mind that," I heard Kratos chime as he picked up his plate and chucked it in the sink. I looked at Kratos as he fiddeled with the cabinets. Sitting there, I looked down at my clasped hands and I was shaking a bit, still overthrilled with how much we cared for each other.

"You didn't have to make so many pancakes Kratos," I spoke, just starring at all the pancakes sitting on the table. Thousands upon thousands of stacks of pancakes. To be honest, I couldn't even see through the doughy mess to the stairs. Frowning I waited for Kratos' reasoning. Maybe he used too much batter.

"Well, I just wanted to make sure you had enough. Wouldn't want you hungry," Kratos spoke. The conversation had suddenely turned from pancakes to somehting else as Kratos finished is speech. But I wasn't too sure what Kratos was thinking. Yawning, I watched as Kratos put a few plates away, busy as ever.

"I don't need that much," I spoke, truthfully speaking about pancakes, but for some reason I concluded Kratos thought it was something different. Tilting my head in confusion, I watched as Kratos put away one more plate and sat down next to me, with the slightest smile.

"Well sometimes you need more then you think you do," He spoke, with a slight smile. How right he was. I sighed then smiled back at him and looked out to the window. It wasn't a sunny day like always, it was a dark and grey day. No wonder I had slept through the whole day.

"It's awfully dark out there," I spoke to Kratos, not taking my eyes off the window. Kratos looked at me curiously, turned around and looked out the window. He seemed as stunned as me to actually seemed a lousy day. The day couldn't conflict with our moods worse. We both were so high-spirted but the weather was so crappy. Teriffic, guess we would stay in for the rest of the day, well the evening.

"Guess we can't go to Meltokio," Kratos sighed turning back around to face me. Shrugging I looked beyond Kratos and just starred at the window. Usually it was never dark at this time. Looking closely, I noticed it had started to rain. The gentle sound of a light rain hitting the roof was always good. But?... it was a gentle rain but I could hear the rain above us so loud. Kratos also picked up on this odd occurness. My heart sank as I got up and ran around the table to the stairs. Seeming startled, Kratos got up and followed me, not sure what I was doing.

Racing up the stairs, I swung open the door to my room and starred blankly as the whole room had been drenched with rain water. This wasn't good at all. The bed was completely crashed, everything was destroyed. I sulked as lowered my head. Kratos ran upon behind me and looked at my trashed room. He placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Yuan, I'm sorry. Guess you'll have to sleep in my ro-" Kratos began then flushed a dark red. I could tell because he stopped and seemed awfully uncomfortable. Trying not to laugh at how childish Kratos was being I sighed and turned around, and tried to smile back at him.

"It's ok. I didn't have anything of that much value anyway. But thanks Kratos for your propercision," I spoke, my eyes glimmering. A sudden urge told me that Kratos had happened for a reason. That sly bastard. But still, I couldn't complain.

"Heh, alright then Yuan. It'll be just like a sleepover!" He spoke, sounding excited. Sleepover? I had no clue what he was talking about and just starred at him. Did he mean that I had to sleep over him or he had to sleep over me? Then why didn't he just say.. I was so confused.

"What the hell is that?" I asked, trying to think why Kratos would use the world 'sleepover'. Kratos beamed at me and seemed stunned that I didn't know what one was. Taking my hand, he seemed like he was going to go through a long explaniation on a sleepover.

"You never had one when you were a kid, did you Yuan? Well, it's basically where two friends sleep in each other's rooms, stay up late talking, eating, and such," Kratos spoke smiling. So that's what it was. But knowing Kratos, we wouldn't do so much talking if I was going to sleep in his room. I couldn't help but laugh in my thoughts.

"So we're going to have a 'sleepover' everynight?" I asked casually. Kratos stroked his chin for a few minutes before answering my apending question. Trying not to stutter with questions, I awaited Kratos' answer. I was curious on what he had for ideas.

"Well I guess we can't call it a sleepover anymore," He spoke with a smirk. I tried not to laugh but once again I laughed and shook my head with a roll of the eyes. I knew the idea of staying up everynight talking and eating would be replaced by something else in Kratos' mind.

"Whatever you want, just make sure I get atleast some sleep,"I spoke, with a slight smile. Kratos shook his head and then shrugged his shoulders and ran a hand through his hair.

"I can't promise you that," He spoke, looking guility. Yep, he certaintly had a few things on his mind. I laughed and then leaned my head against his shoulder and yawned. I was still extremely groggy from earlier and wasn't in the mood to have long drown out conversations.

"I take it you want to go sleep early?" Kratos spoke. I could barely reply as I drifted halfway into slumber. I was half asleep but I could hear Kratos breathing and I could tell he was amused.

"Yuan?" He asked. I didn't reply, I wanted to rest. I felt his arms wrap around me as he picked me up and carried me down to his room.

He set me down on the bed. It was extremely warm in Kratos' room but that was better then the cold and damp feeling that my room held. I remained silent, trying to fall asleep. I felt Kratos sit down beside me and stroked my hair.

"Well then Yuan, sweet dreams," I could feel his lips touch my forehead. "You deserve it" I slowly fell into a light slumber with Kratos contently running his hands through my hair.

It wasn't long before I heard a door slam and many voices scream. I jolted up from my dreams, horrified. Kratos wasn't in the room and my heart sank. I got up, banging into a few walls still being half asleep and managed to walk into the kitchen where Kratos sat hunched over the table, the front door was hanging on only one hinge, as the rain came blasting in. On Kratos' face bore the most depressed and stressed look ever. He was breathing heavily as the thunder boomed in the background. I ran up to him and shook him softly.

"Kratos, are you ok?" I asked softly. No reply, I looked at his face. He was extremely pale and he was shaking incredibly. I began to fear what had happened. "Kratos, please answer me. What happened?" I asked pushing his bangs out of his eyes. After a few moments he looked over at me, with the most dead look I had ever seen on his face.

"Yuan.. he's gone... he's gone.."

"Who's gone Kratos?" I spoke lightly shaking him. He tightly shut his eyes as tears streamed down his face. He was shaking a lot and his face was as white as a ghost. I gulped and waited for Kratos to reply.

"He's gone... he's gone... my son's dead"

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	10. Chapter 10: Open Your Heart To Me

**Kawaii! Which in japanese that means cute, but anyhow, lol. I am so inspired by this one actually two pictures of Yuan and Kratos I keep drooling over. One is Kratos and Yuan, Kratos are eating a cherry, together. Lol they are both eating one cherry. I found that extremely romantic! The second one is Yuan reading a book and Kratos starring at him. Kratos' thought bubble is him and Yuan together (heheh you get the picture eh x3) and Kratos has this pleased look on his face and yuan has the "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING" look on his face in the thought bubble. man, I love those pictures. They are so hot! So inspiration. I swear if anyone wants to argue that Kratos and Yuan don't belong together, I will grab a giant metal bat and show you these pictures. So Cute!**

**Nall: Kratos really does have naughty thoughts about him and Yuan O.O Just like in your story. Odd.**

**Me: hehehe! I have thoughts about Kratos and Yuan all the time; so it's nothing different for me. Lol!**

**Nall: You scare me -.-;**

**Me: Ooh maybe I should call Michelle and tell her bout the pictures. She'd be like " O.O!" it's funny. YaY! Just the Girl came on the radio. Mhm, all my friends love this song so I think of them when I hear it. I miss them. Lol the Gorillaz are on now. Michelle's Band O.o**

**Nall: Shut up and write the next chapter Miss. Idiot.**

**Me: You are SO cruel to me.**

**Warnings; Yaoi! Strong Yaoi; And possibly implied lemons! wh00t!(I like Yaoi better then Shonen-ai) Language, Spoilers, Drama, and erm, romance. LOL! I thought like adding the last one in for the heck of it!**

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**Also! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SANGO! (squeak) I dedicate this chapter to you! Even tho I am publishing not exactly on your bday buuuut HAPPY BDAY!**

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_And now I try hard to make it  
I just want to make you proud  
I'm never gonna be good enough for you  
I can't pretend that  
I'm alright  
And you can't change me_

'Cuz we lost it all  
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect  
Now it's just too late and  
We can't go back  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect

I try not to think  
About the pain I feel inside  
Did you know you used to be my hero?  
All the days you spent with me  
Now seem so far away  
And it feels like you don't care anymore

And now I try hard to make it  
I just want to make you proud  
I'm never gonna be good enough for you  
I can't stand another fight  
And nothing's alright

_Nothing's gonna change the things that you said  
Nothing's gonna make this right again  
Please don't turn your back  
I can't believe it's hard  
Just to talk to you  
But you don't understand

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**E**ternal Souls  
Open Your Heart To Me

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"**L **loyd? Kratos, what happened to him? Are you sure he's dead?"

I sat down next to the seraphim, obviously worried about him. Kratos looked so devastated and hurt in the inside and the outside. His arms were shaking as he attempted to keep himself up and not collapsing. Tilting my head, I extended my hand and set it on his back, reassuringly. He didn't reply, but just breathed extremely heavily. I was really worried about Kratos. He lost Anna and almost lost himself in the process, and I'm sure the loss of his son would cause even more grief.

"He was killed in the Toize Mine..." Kratos suddenly replied. His eyes were filled with mental anguish and tears rolled down his face. The only other time I had seen Kratos truly break down was when Anna died. But this time, he seemed completely shaken and disturbed. I felt for him, I honestly did. Murmuring, I ran my hand through his hair and spoke softly.

"It'll be ok Kratos, I promise you that. I'm here for you, I won't ever leave," I spoke in the softest and sympathetic tone. His hair was as soft as silk, and any other time I would have taken advantage of Kratos, but right now he needed someone. A friend.

"I swore I'd protect him," Kratos spoke, shaking. He was looking down at the table, quivering from shock. A frown rolled across my face as I felt his heartache. I wrapped my arm around his back and patted his shoulder. Kratos was never depressed, usually I was the one who needed to be jerked from my inner woe, but now it my turn to show him I was here.

"It's not your fault. There's nothing you could have done. I know it hurts, but I'm here for you, you understand Kratos?" I spoke moving a strand of his auburn hair out of his face. Everything I had said earlier must have not registered with Kratos until now. Turning his head to look at me, he whimpered like a injured puppy.

"Yuan, it hurts," He spoke, closing his eyes off from the world. As he spoke I felt a low feeling inside me. Kratos couldn't cut off his heart to me, could he? Forget everything we've been through because of this never ending grief. I couldn't stand to think about it, as I pushed away all his hair in his face. So vulnerable and broken.

"I know it does Kratos, I know," I spoke thinking back to what I went through when Martel departed from the worlds. If Kratos wasn't there I would have lost my soul, whatever was left of it. And now I wouldn't left Kratos loose his soul. I loved him too much.

Kratos had broken down even worse by now. Tears rolled down his face and his body was shaking so frequently I was petrified about his health. His ruby eyes bore so man tears, I did the only thing I thought would help him. Anything to actually show him I was here.

Placing a kiss on his lips, I waited for Kratos' usual content response but he stood as still as stone. No expression hung in his frozen eyes. The tears stayed swelled up and he just starred at me. I tilted my head and ran my hand on his face.

"Relax Kratos," I murmured embracing once more. Kratos seemed to jolt back from his grief and shock when I spoke. The tears streamed down his face but he returned my gesture. Through all his pain and misery, I hoped he was content that I was here, providing him with what he needed.

"Thank you..." I heard him rasp in breaths. I broke away from a few moments and just starred at the seraphim. He had so much woe in his life, and every bit of it shone in his garnet eyes as he starred at me, with the most compassion he could muster up at the moment. It relaxed me a bit, and I'm sure he was starting to feel better.

"Anything for you," I replied looking at Kratos intently. At first I thought he was going to brush against me once more, but he leaned his head against my shoulder. A light smile glided across my lips and I held him close. He wasn't shaking as much, and I felt a bit relieved. He was such a strong willed soul, but this tragic end for his son shattered his heart.

"I love you, and you're one of the best things that ever happened to me," Kratos spoke lightly as he leaned against me. Just hearing those words filled me with joviality, even as good as a kiss. I ran my hand through his hair and stroked it slightly and whispered.

"You need to relax. Let me help you..." I spoke in his ear. Kratos' eye lit up softly as he snuggled in my arms, contentedly. The sweet fantasize of Kratos in my arms brought back all the memories that happened but Kratos suddenly answered softly.

"I want to stay in your arms forever. I'm safe with you and I never want that to change. It's taken all these years to fully believe that, but now I can never leave you," Kratos spoke. The tone around us softened increasingly and I could only smile at the seraphim and ran my hand across his face.

"I was hoping you'd feel that way. You need rest, let me help you up," I spoke. Kratos lifted his head and sighed. He still seemed flustered but the feeling was subsiding a bit and if I had it my way, he'd be fine again. Fine to be by my side forever.

"all right," He answered standing up, and placed a hand on my shoulder for support. After a few attempts, we made our way into his room. Kratos laid down and just starred out the window, head resting against his pillow. He shut his eyes and looked like he was trying to relax.

"Hmmm," I spoke to myself as I just watched him then turned to the door and started to walk out. But my heart pulled me back into the room and I could hear Kratos say something from his resting place.

"Don't go..."I heard him moan, eyes now tightly shut. Grinning, I turned around and sat down at the edge of his bed. Kratos rolled over and laid on his back and just looked over at me. Something flickered in his eyes as he breathed deeply and tried to keep his eyes open. He was fighting back his anguish.

"You need rest, I'll be right here," I advised laying down next to him and flashed a light smile at him. Returning the gesture, Kratos rolled on his side. I ran my hands through his hair until he rested."I'll always be here, so rest my angel. My guardian angel," I spoke kissing the side of his head. I knew Kratos was unconscious and it was a useless effort, but I wanted to tell myself how much I loved him. It was only a few more moments before I wrapped my arms around him and fell into sleep as well.

LINE BREAK

"Kratos? Are you awake?"

I traced his sleeping outline. He was still in a deep slumber, and seemed too content to wake up. This was the beginning of a new chapter of our lives and I knew I would have to be there for Kratos a lot more then I used to be. I watched as he murmured something in his sleep. Tilting my head, I perked up my ears and listened to what he was saying.

"Yuan..." He spoke, dream-like. My expression melted as the angel dreamed and called out for me in his sleep. He rolled over once more and I saw his eyes tightly shut, still asleep. I beamed at him and kissed his lips as he rested.

I was expecting no return gesture, seeing I had touched him so lightly, but I felt him push back in a blissful way. I broke away and starred at him, and noticed he was still in a light slumber. So he even wanted me in his sleep? I laughed to myself and got up and walked into the kitchen.

It was around dawn, seeing the sun was rising. I was still tired to be honest. But I knew Kratos was completely destroyed from what happened the night before. I looked at all the pancakes on the table and tried not to laugh and think about the memory of yesterday.

I was relaxing, just looking at the pancakes before I heard light footsteps in Kratos' room. Perking my ears up, I yawned and waited for Kratos' arrival. After a few moments with nothing, I tilted my head and watched the hall and his door. It was still tightly shut and I could hear light footsteps in it. At least he was awake.

I got up and walked down the hall and pushed open the door. Now see this was our situation flipped. I had no intentions at all for what I did, but it just happened. I starred blankly at Kratos. He was completely undressed. Turning a scarlet red, I stuttered and reached for the door, not taking my eyes off Kratos. Where was that door! I wanted to look over to find it so I could leave without acting like a pervert, but my eyes wouldn't budge from Kratos' body.

"I uh, uh, Ack!" I spoke, trying not to look at Kratos. My cheeks were as flustered as they go get and I was still flailing my arms in the air, trying to explain and find that damn door. Kratos starred blankly at me, and jumped at the blankets, a bit embarrassed. Still not taking my eyes off him, I slapped my hand across my face.

"I am so sorry Kratos, I didn't know you were awake and, and oh hell," I spoke covering my eyes as I heard Kratos scamper around the room to find his robe. After a few moments, I dared to open my eyes and saw him in his lilac bathrobe. Sighing with relief I sat down, still a dark red.

"Kratos.. I'm sorry, I probably look like a pervert," I spoke, looking downward. I paused for a moment and thought for a minute, trying to figure out why he had but on his robe and not his regular clothes. Just seeing him in his robe made my heart beat quicken. Shaking, I watched him sit down also.

"Yuan, calm down I'm not upset," He spoke, looking at me. That made me feel even worse. I had completely spazzed out on Kratos when he walked in on me, but yet he was taking my walking in so coolly. I was still blushing and just looked over at him.

"You're not mad?" I asked, stunned as ever. Just shaking his head, he put his hand on my shoulder. I could tell he was feeling much better, and was starting to relax. Something was on his mind yet again and I could only smile at the thought.

"No, not really," Kratos answered crossing his arms. Just seeing in a robe was torture enough. The robe didn't even fit him, it was five sizes too big. But for some reason I liked it like that. Lowering my gaze I stuttered, trying not to bring up Lloyd.

"Yuan, you feeling ok?" I heard Kratos ask looking at me studiously. No I wasn't ok. Just seeing Kratos undressed and then seeing him in that huge bathrobe of his, he was taunting me. I shook my head and passed any thoughts I had out of my head quickly.

"Yea, fine fine," I replied stubbornly. I wasn't like Kratos and didn't say what I wanted out loud. I pushed my hair out of my eyes and watched Kratos stare me. Just stare at me. I was beginning to feel uneasy and was shaking once more.

"Is something on your mind? You know can confide in me," Kratos spoke, moving closer next to me. I saw him move out of the corner of my eye and couldn't help but get nervous once more. Was I really just a push over who took others leads? Maybe I should take my own leads. Just possibly.

"Actually Yes," I replied. I gave myself a smile. I had to take control and a lead sometime. Kratos couldn't get the lead all the time, that just wouldn't be fair to me. Kratos just starred at me, I'm sure he wasn't expecting me to say something was in my mind. I usually was secretive about my worries and needs.

"What is it?" Kratos asked, he looked almost concerned what was on my mind. My heart sank, if anyone should be sad and depressed it would be Kratos, but the sleep he took might have cleared his mind. I smirk rolled across my face and I thought for a few seconds.

"This," I spoke leaning over and kissing his lips. Kratos seemed stunned at my sudden assertiveness but seemed like he was enjoying it. He returned the gesture and I brought him closer to me.

I never had had felt his bathrobe before, it was softer then it looked. At first looks it looked gurney but now I saw how soft it was. By now I was entangled with Kratos on his bed. He looked intently at me and smiled.

"What's with your sudden guidance," Kratos asked as I starred at him in-between breaths. He had the oddest wording, and every time he said something like that, something stupid, it broke the mood a lot. I pulled him closer and could only give him a smirk.

"Shut up..." I spoke. Not cruelly, just more so a demand. Kratos looked stunned at how serious I was acting and only laughed to himself but I cut him off, leaning in for another kiss.

Kratos was always the one to take the lead. He was always leading both of us at everything. But now it was my turn, and I saw Kratos wasn't objecting at all. Just being with Kratos made everything better. I had always been in love him, for all these four thousand years.

"Yuan," I heard Kratos ring out breaking away. Looking stunned I fixed my hair and watched Kratos looked worriedly. He also fixed his bathrobe and cleared his throat looking down. Was something wrong with me taking the lead. I tried not to scowl, so I just starred at him blankly.

"What?" I replied, trying not to hiss. I squinted my eyes, trying not to act crude. Kratos looked back up at me and seemed depressed again. And things were going so good.

"I can't do this anymore... I should be grieving for Lloyd," Kratos spoke looking away. I twitched uneasily. Sure he should be sad, but for us not to do things together just because Lloyd passed away? I thought back at a few nights ago and sighed. That was possibly the first and last time.

"..." I didn't reply. I had nothing to say to him. Kratos sighed, grabbed his regular clothes and left the room just like that. My heart sank, so low I felt like throwing up because it hurt so bad. I clenched my fists and bit down on my lip.

"Damnit Kratos," I hissed kicking a random piece of furniture in anger. I knew Kratos felt bad, but just what he said to me is what really ticked me off. He had no right to put Lloyd in our relationship. He had no purpose in this equation, and to think that could have been my last moment with Kratos.

"Yuan," I perked my ears up and saw Kratos renter the room, still in his robe. My eyes flickered from relief then to a sudden annoyance at the seraphim. I crossed my arms and waited to see what Kratos was going to say. Nothing he could say could make me feel any better.

"What do you want? You already made it_ pretty _clear that you don't want to be around me, so leave me alone," I hissed angrily, turning away. I looked downward at my crossed arms, and at the pale carpet. I closed my eyes and puffed out my cheeks, as annoyed as ever.

Kratos looked over at me and sat down on the bed next to me. I tried not to snarl my teeth as him, but right now I was so mad. I just wanted him to go away. But of course, I didn't want him to go either. I wanted him when he was himself, not when he's depressed.

"Yuan, I didn't mean that. I'm just, addled over this whole thing. I'm sorry if I offended you," Kratos spoke, rubbing my hair. Twitching, I looked over at him and saw he really meant what he was saying. Kratos gently slipped his hand over my face and brought me closer. "I would never want you to leave,"

I remained silent as Kratos leaned in and kissed me softly. I looked him straight in the eye, both our faces together. He was starring so daringly at me, my heart began to race and skip a few beats.

"Kratos,"I whispered, he held my head softly as I spoke. He tilted his head and softened his gaze.

"Yes?" He asked, still holding my head close to him. I couldn't breath any longer as we just sat there, looking at each other. I blinked for a few seconds then thought.

"Let me help relieve the pain for you," I spoke, running my hand through his hair. His stare was soft but concentrated on me. Only on me, and I knew I could ease the pain for him. I knew that if he let me I could lessen his heart ache. I knew he needed me more then ever.

"Humph," He spoke as we shared another kiss. All I could do was to just sit there. Every time Kratos took the lead I became powerless. Not from being told to, It just felt so right when Kratos took the lead. Every exchange of breath we took, I felt more compelled to allow Kratos to do what he pleased with me. And I loved every second and every minute I spent with him. I could feel his hands run across me.

"Kratos?"

"Yes?" I heard Kratos speak by my side, I sat laying down looking at the ceiling. Kratos tilted his head as he watched me. He ran his hand across my face delicately.

"Never mind," I spoke looking away from him. Shifting his head, he set his hand on my lips and gave me a kindhearted expression.

"It's ok, I'll be fine Yuan, don't worry about me," Kratos reassured me. Trying my hardest not to sigh, I smiled at him. With a returning smile, Kratos kissed me once more and whispered in my ear gently.

"Thank you for helping me..." He spoke as we held each other close. Looking at him as the rain gently fell in the background, I grinned casually.

"Your welcome Kratos, just open your heart to me."

* * *

**Author's Note: **

Implied Lemons! (sings badly) Lol! I had the WORST time at Ruby Tuesday! Before we went in while we were on the road I saw this guy, on a bike that looked JUST like Jack Nicholson from The Shining. We went in Ruby Tuesdays, Then it started to rain, the lights flickered and coming down the hill next to the resturant was that guy! I like screamed! He came in soaking wet and the whole place starred at him. I was so flipping out! I shoved fifty cheesefries in my mouth. lol!

Nall: that was NOT Jack Nicholson..

Me: lol it was!


	11. Chapter 11: Blissful Heart

**Lol , my friend always flips out when I talk about K/Y but I can't help my obession! They are so hott together! (has a heart attack) lol, I am scaring myself now! And listening to the radio, radios are my friends. Yea, sorry I can't reply to reviewers in my stories, someone sent a letter saying it was against the rules now T.T I am so sorry guys! I swear I'll find some way to reply! Let's just say I love you all and thank you for reviewing! Love you all x) **

You know how much I hate Bob from Bobo's well the new commerical is the furnitue singing and bob in the mirror. I screamed so freaking loud the neighbors came running over xD I am so dead serious. I HATE bob and I flipped out at that commerical!OOOOH the RANCH TOOTH COMMERICAL IS ON! Ranch.. Ranch ranch ranch ranch ranch!

Warnings; Shonen-Ai, Some Strong Language, Drama, and that stuff. Spoilers galore!

Ugh my stupid 'T' key on my computer is broken! noooo it's so hard to type now! Why couldn't it be Z!

Also, if you still want my email, it is at the end of my bio page. the very end, lol. No one can find it. Lol yea! Just thought I'd say that!

* * *

_Looking back at me I see  
That I never really got it right  
I never stopped to think of you  
I'm always wrapped up in  
Things I cannnot win  
You are the antidote that gets me by  
Something strong  
Like a drug that gets me high _

What I really meant to say  
Is I'm sorry for the way I am  
I never meant to be so cold to you

And I'm sorry about all the lies  
Maybe in a different light  
You could see me stand on my own again  
Cause now i can see  
You were the antidote that got me by  
Something strong like a drug that got me high  
I never meant to be so cold

I never really wanted you to see  
The screwed up side of me that I keep  
Locked inside of me so deep  
It always seems to get to me  
I never really wanted you to go  
So many things you should have known  
I guess for me theres just no hope  
I never meant to be so cold

* * *

**E**ternal Souls  
**C**hapter 11: **B**lissful Heart

"**Y **uan. Wake up, lunch is ready!"

I cracked open my eye and just starred at the darkened space I had created with the plentiful amount of blankets. I just laid there in for a few instantness and pulled the blankets around my body tighter. Waking up to my full extent, I realized I was wearing Kratos' robe. It was softer wearing it then it felt. before. With a slight smirk, I rolled over and pulled the blankets off my face and starred at the ceiling. The room was vaguely lit , seeing a storm was passing through, and it made it extremely hard to see. But even without the light, I knew how stupid I looked in a lilac bathrobe. Purple was Kratos' color, it just looked so odd on me.

Sitting up in bed, I crossed my arms and watched the rain gently fall against the window panes. Storms like this had caused us to bunk up with each other. But I knew Kratos didn't mind at all. I still believed he had something to do with the caving in of my roof. Pushing the thoughts aside, I just stretched my arms in the air and blinked a few times. Waking up to a dark room wasn't what I really had wanted. A sleeping Kratos was much more fitting. And more pleasing to see.

"Yuan?" I heard Kratos call again. Slightly turning my head, I noticed that the cause for Kratos' voice to be so rough was that the door was tightly shut. Just the simple things, like Kratos closing the door so his odd routines wouldn't bother me, was worth it's weight in gold. Or love. Yawning, I got up and reached out for the doorknob. It took a few tries before I could actually find it, seeing my eyes weren't used to so much dark.

"Coming ," I replied brisk fully. Turning the knob, I walked down the dark hall, eyes still not adjusted to the dim light. Twitching my ears, I walked into the kitchen.

The kitchen was completely dark, only I could see Kratos' silhouette near the table. Very vague light shone on him and I sighed, almost embarrassed. How stupid I looked in his bathrobe. Perking my ears up, I stood completely immobile, as I noticed Kratos' staring at me. Did Kratos really want to do it again?

"Here," Kratos suddenely rang out beconking for me to come over. I really couldn't tell if he knew I was in his robe, but I concluded he must have. Sitting down next to the seraphim, I watched his gaze fall from his plate of food to me. Uneasily, I looked down at the plate in front of me.

"What is it?..." I asked meekly. There was no smell, and with the shortage of light, I couldn't tell what was on the plate. Rapidly blinking my eyes, I glanced down at the plate and noticed it was empty. But didn't Kratos just say lunch was ready. Giving Kratos a suspicous dagger, he turned away. I sighed and could only conclude that Lloyd was on the seraphims mind. He promised me he'd be alright, but now. Now he was just losing it.

"Uh Kratos?" I asked, trying not to sound cruel. I crossed my arms and watched Kratos for any reaction. All he did was remain still, back-turned to me. No response, no kind gestures. I knew the pain for his son was enmorous but just to stagger from depression then to blissfulness was abusrd! I wasn't going to spend the rest of my life guessing his mood every morning.

"Kratos, answer me," I tried not to hiss through my teeth. No re-action. Sighing miserably, I got up and walked over to the cabinet and sinks. It was only a few minutes before a knock arose. Kratos didn't respond to the knock so with regret I stood up and made my way to the door. I had opened the door before i reliezed I was still in my bathrobe. What a horrible embarrassent. I stared at the angel at the door.

"Yuan, good to see you. Is Kratos here?" My ears rang out and watched as Colette clasped her hands sadly. I knew it must be something about Lloyd's death. I sighed and pushed open the door as far as it could go and let her in.

Without being told to, the blonde walked into the kitchen and just watched Kratos. At least she didn't even notice I was in this odd bathrobe. Tilting my head, I watched her walk over to the statue Kratos slowly.

"Kratos, can I speak to you?" Colette asked. First I thought he would ignore her, but Kratos rose his auburn head and starred gloomily at Colette. I saw all the hatred he was hiding from me earlier, and it burned me inside. He kept lieing about his feelings. He was doing it a lot lately. Even though he didn't want me to worry, when he lied it made me worry even more! Damn that Kratos.

"Yes?" I heard him answer simply. Almost in fear of what was going to happen, I stayed where I was, hidden from Colette's view. Kratos gestured for Colette to sit down. Just as he told her, she pulled up a chair and sat down next to him. A bitter taste filled my mouth. So he would talk to her and not me. Why did my feelings keep changing for Kratos everytime he did something this stupid.

"Lloyd's, funeral will be held later today. We all knew you would want to be there. So I came here, and.. I'm so sorry," Colette explainied breaking down in tears. The two seraphims were the only ones to ever get close to Lloyd. And I knew Colette had spent multiple years with the swordsman so this shock proabbly was coming incredibly strong for her.

"I'll be there," Was all Kratos replied with. Colette looked at him, concerned and got up. Sliding against the wall, trying to remain out of sight, I watched the blonde chosen exit the house, tears rolling down her face.Jerking uneasily, I glanced around the corner at the melancholy Kratos.

"Yuan, come in here," I heard Kratos call out. Twitching my ears, I walked around the corner and sat down next to him. The seat was ice cold, proabbly from the stiffness in the air, but how could a feeling change the temperature? Glancing over I saw Kratos look over at me. He took my hand and gave me an intent scan.

"I want you with me when I attend Lloyd's funeral," He spoke leaning his head against my shoulder, breaking down. I sighed and stroked my hand through his hair. He hid so much from me, and he always had the mask on him. The mask that hid his feelings. I just wanted to burn that fucking mask and leave it behind us.

"Alright," I replied, sharply. I wanted to be there for him, but everytime he hid his feelings and lied about them I felt like I wanted to leave. Leave him and this house. Kratos looked up at me, a few tears rolling down his face. My heart sank, everytime I saw him cry it made me feel like holding him forever. He needed someone. But I wasn't sure I was the one he wanted to comfort him.

"I'm sorry I lied to you. I didn't want to distress you. But thank you for assisting me last night, it worked and took my mind off of the whole thing, for awhile..." He spoke, mind drifting off. I could only feel bad for him. He was apologizing to me? He must have known how dreadful I was feeling lately. Lowering my gaze at the seraphim, I could only flicker a small smile at him.

"Your welcome. Let's get ready to make our leave. Then later I can aid you again," I whispered softly. Kratos paused for a moment, I was expecting a grin or him just to get up and get ready but he did something I never thought he would have in this situation. He literally nuzzeled his head in my shoulder, and clutched me by the arms tightly. Shocked, I glowered down at him and only tilted my head in amusement.

"I need relief now Yuan," He spoke clinging to me. This was so odd of Kratos. So out of character. He usually never pleaded for anything. Or asked for that fact. He always got what he wanted even if I needed to be convinced. But now he was pleading for his release. Slightly I ran my hand over Kratos' outline.

"After..." I reminded him sternly. He needed to attend his son's funeral pure-hearted. Not influenced from our own pleasures. I was expecting a pout or whine but Kratos looked up at me, still clinging. It was such an awkward position but I didn't mind it that much.

"Please Yuan," He replied as if he was cleaved to me. Sighing I raised his head up and looked him straight in the face. I had to be stern about this. He had to be pure for Lloyd. And plus, I knew his son would dis-approve of our affetion right before his mourning. No, I had to stay strong for both Aurions.

"Kratos, no. After," I spoke, acting as stubborn as I could. Kratos was so hard to convince. He was stuck on his ways and he usually always pursuaded me to think like him. Looking at me softly, he closed his eyes and murmured something under his breath. It was either an okay or he was cussing me out. Either way, I knew I had won this one.

"Then I'm going to go get changed. This bathrobe is freaking killing me," I spoke breaking away from Kratos' grasp. The seraphim just watched as I retreated into our room. I shut the door tightly and pushed the cabinet in front of the door. I knew that Kratos would attempt to create a 'mood' and any way to avoid it was in my best interests. Yawning, I got changed in my normal clothes, Kratos hadn't tried to walk in on me thankfully, and moved the cabinet away. I laid down on the bed, starring up at the ceiling as the rain fell down rapidly.

"Yuan?" I cracked open an eye and saw Kratos walk in. Why did I move that cabinet! Why why why! Twitching angriliy, I tried to pretend I was interested in what he was saying. Kratos just looked at me contently as if just seeing me made him feel better. If only I knew that was true.

"What? Are you ready?" I asked, trying not to sound prude. Kratos gave a stiff nodd and I could tell he was holding back his tears.

---------------------------------

"We have all gathered for one reason; to honnor and grieve for Lloyd Aurion Irving. His death came as a shock to all us. We wish for him an eternal rest. For he was the guiding light in our journies. Rest in peace Lloyd."

"..." Kratos clung to my sleeve in pain. Misery whelmed in his eyes as he closed his eyes tightly. Everyone had showed up for Lloyd's funeral, including myself. Colette and Dirk were the ones to speak in the funeral ceremony, seeing they spent their whole lives with him. My heart hurt for Kratos, he was eternally bruised after loosing Anna.

"May Lloyd's memories always be with us," I could hear Raine speak solemnly from her side of the coffin. I looked over at the destroyed Kratos, stunned.

"It's alright Kratos, he's with Anna now," I spoke, as softly as I could running my hand through Kratos' hair in the back. The ceremony was dieing down, and after awhile of hearing speeches about Lloyd's life and the influences he had on everyone, it had dwidled down to Kratos and I remaining. I looked down at Kratos who had broken away from me and sat down next to his sons' grave.

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to protect you, Lloyd, my son," Kratos spoke, in the most solemn voice I ever heard from him. My heart sank lower as Kratos just sat by the grave for what felt like eternity. I didn't take my eyes of the fellow seraphim at all.

"Kratos, you sure you're going to be fine?" I asked, walking over to him. Head sunken low, Kratos replied in a harsh tone.

"I'll never be fine..."

I closed my eyes at the pain of his words filled me. This blow was even worse then the last time. Was I really expecting Kratos to be alright after his son's death even though he had told me? I clenched my teeth tightly and turned around, in despair.

"Fine then." I replied just as harsh. This was just like a drawn out good-bye. A moment I never wanted to happen, after all these years. Would Kratos really turn his back on me after these four thousand years? It just couldn't be this simple. Had my rejection to Kratos' desires turned him ill towards me. I sighed and looked at the Rhearids we used to fly here. I was starting to think I'd be leaving solo.

"Then leave," I suddenely heard Kratos hiss. My heart sank worse, I was getting rejection from Kratos, no other words for it. No skipping around the subject at all. Nothing but hatred. A hatred I didn't understand. First he loved me and now hated me so soon? I just wanted to die, just die.

"I will," I hissed back, holding back my tears. And it was over after that moment. I thought we had grown so close. So damn close... I let him do anything he damn well pleased and yet he betrayed me in the end. I let him love me, I let myself fall in love, but then was torn apart brutally again.Swinging onto the Rhaeird I hovered in the air, and just starred at Kratos before departing in the skies.

------------------------

I closed my eyes as I set down the Rheaird onto the cold hard ground that lay before me. Our house, just a freaking burden about our past, yet again. To think that I would return witout Krtos by my side seemed alitlle odd, or such. But now I doubted I would ever see the seraphim again. He told me to leave. He fucking told me to go away and leave him alone. No excuse for his action and I just had to get over that.

"I guess this is my last visit here," I muttered as I walked in to grab my things. You see I didn't want he memories to flood back to me. But they did. The pancakes, the memories shared, and even the weirdest things we used to do. I missed them all, but damn, I had to be strong. I couldn't keep living a lie and pretend that Kratos still cared about me. Because he didn't.

"Pitty, all I have is my clothes to get," I snapped as I walked into the room. Memories of a few days ago cascaded into my thoughts without warning . I had to forget I just had to. Closing my eyes I rummaged through the cabinets and grabbed my clothes. There wasn't that many, sad. Sighing, I leaned against he bureau, eyes tighly shut. I should have known not to trust that ass again. But I did. And it bothered me.

"Kratos' Diary..." I spoke out loud. It was true he kept his diary in this room. I thought back to the time when I had read it and Kratos depresseion was enermous. So, so possibly get inside Kratos mind thorough his diary. It was a plan. And it was the smartest idea at that moment.

"I believe he keeps it under the bed," I snickered. I could care less about his personal propiorty. And I seriously doubted Kratos knew I had come back to the house. But I didn't care at all.

Sliding my hand under the bed, I scooped up his diary and grinned. This was it, I could understand why the hell Kratos kept changing his mind on whether he loved me or not. Finally.

To my great disappoint, every single page was dark black, covered with ink. His loss of his son must have made him hate everything he had ever written in this diary. Lowrring my gaze, I flipped through a few pages, all black. Nothing but ink. Until I came across one page. It was almost all black, but one line wasn' crossed out. One line.

Squinting my eyes to see it, I crossed my arms and read out loud, trying to understand Kratos' odd writing. It was so odd. After a few seconds, I could understand what he had wrote on that line. And that one line made my heart sink.

_If it hadn't have been for Yuan I wouldn't still be alive. Damn, that stuck up half-elf really does get the best of me. Some things never change. _

Clenching my teeth wih confusion, I pu the diary away under the bed and just sat down. I didn't know when or why he wrote that but he did. I seriously doubted Kratos still felt that way towards me. And yet I didn't want him to care about me anymore. He told me to leave.Was I really that gullible towards Kratos? It really pissed me off and I sighed. That entry mustt have been months old. But why not cross that out. Just thinking tabout this got my stomach sick, just plain sick.

After awhile, I concluded Kratos wasn't coming back. Now and not ever. It was such a crappy day as it stood, but with the extra weather mixiniing in, it was horrible, just horrible.

"if I hate him why do i still feel like I want him," I spoke bitterly looking down at the rug as lightning flashed outside. This feeling was so strange. I hated Kratos' guts but yet I loved him. Loved him more then I could ever explain, as stupid as it sounds. Crossing my arms, I just starred blankly, I hated being in this house. Every part of it reminded me of Kratos. Every single inch.

"To answer your question, it's because your a stubborn jackass. Might I ask why you are here?" Whirling around I saw Kratos at the door to his room. At first I wanted to smile with relief but then realitiy flooded over me, and his words played in my head. "Then leave.." I closed my eyes before opening them again, snarling.

"Getting my stuff, don't try to stop me," I hissed back at him. He seemed so emotionless, just like he used to be when Mithos had a reign on him. Just thinking back made me relieze how many Kratos betrayed me. But this time was different. This time it burned a whole through me, not just my heart. It felt like the fires of hell, and just looking at the seraphim made me sick. So sick I wanted to kill him.

"Then hurry and take your leave, hal-elf," He hissed. My eyes suddenely widdened. Kratos had never called me a half-elf in an offensive way. He was the only human I had known not to make a mockery of my kind. But now, he changed that all. Biting down on my lip, trying to control my rage, I grabbed my clothes and walked to the door where Kratos stood.

"I plan on it, bastard," I spoke cruely as I pushed him aside and stormed outside. It was really over. The names were exchanged, the hearts were broken. And we were lost. Nothing but hatred remained. No love whatsoever. And that;s what hurt me the most. I had loved him. I had been so naive,g and now I was paying for it. Damn Kratos...


	12. Chapter 12: To Be Alone

**School starts in three days, omigosh! I am so damn excited! loL! Yea my T key is still freaked out so if a word is missing a t don't kill me! I'm doing my best to get it fixed! Ugh I have to literally smack it to make a t appear. and I even resorted to edit pasting every time I need a t, but that's annoying isn't it?And now I got the idea of hooking up another keyboard to this computer, it's so funny.I'm like "DAD I"M BORROWING THE KEYBOARD" and he's like "why?.." and I'm like "My t key is broken and my inspiration can't work without the t key!" and he's like "Whatever..." it was so funny. and I am so happy, I just watched Lawn Mower racing at a fair. I was like "LAWN MOWER RACING?" **

And for some reason my computer keeps deleting my story document X.X So i'm sorry if I keep delaying these updates and... Cold by Crossfade is on! Wh00t! lol I'll shut up. Or will i?

Warnings; Some Language, Strong Shonen-Ai, Suggestive Themes. Spoilers. (Yes those are more warnings. so if you don't like any of those, I warned you! UGH! Now the song All the things you said' is on. Reminds me of what is happening in this story, creeped)

* * *

_I get the same old dreams, same time every night  
Fall to the ground and I wake up  
So I get out of bed, put on my shoes, and in my head  
Thoughts fly back to the break-up _

These four walls are closing in  
Look at the fix you've put me in

Since you been gone, since you been gone  
I'm outta my head, can't take it  
Could I be wrong, but since you been gone  
You cast the spell, so break it  
Since you been gone

So in the night I stand beneath the back street light  
I read the words that you sent to me  
I can take the afternoon, the night-time comes around too soon  
You can't know what you mean to me

Your poison letter, your telegram  
Just goes to show you don't give a damn

* * *

"It's really over..."

Closing my eyes, I leaned my back against the tree behind me for support. After Kratos and Is little ordeal, I had gone off to a small forest, to relax and get my mind off everything. The forest was small, but scenic. A small river was rushing through the middle of the clusters of trees I was taking shelter in. Lush green bushes seemed to create a barrier around the boundaries of the forest and the open plains. So quiet, the only sounds were those of birds and rushing water. There was little color, just endless greens. Everything seemed so perfect, what a contradictory to how things were going right now. It was peaceful, but could I really relax.

I was starting to come to the realization that Kratos wasn't coming back no matter what happened. He lost his last part of his heart when his son died. But this still didn't seem real. For some reason I still felt like I wanted to go back home to Kratos. Home. I shouldn't even call it that anymore. How could he do this to me after so many years? My only conclusion was that he was a selfish bastard who couldn't love anyone.

But what I really regretted now, was that I had spent so much time with him. So many memories that won't get out of my head, bitter, sweet, and deathly ones. They were like sharp needles prickling into my skull every minute. Why did I still think about him. It was over, I had to keep telling myself that.

Yet somewhere in my heart I didn't want it to be over. I just wanted to hold him close, never let him go. But that was just a dream I was chasing, it was useless. After all these years of ignorance towards the seraphim, I wanted time to go back, I wanted to do things differently. I knew he knew that I loved him, but I doubted he ever understood. He was so dense towards other people, ever since Anna had passed away. Now I doubted he'd ever be the same.

"Kratos, what have you done to me!" I hissed bitterly. He had screwed up my head so strongly. Nothing would ever be the same. He had changed my whole life, and now I was left to deal with whatever was left of it. What really bugged me was that part of his diary that wasn't scribbled out, but that was just useless now. He honestly had his own issues, and this time I wouldn't be there to help him.

Crossing my arms, I glanced up into the sky. It was starting to get late, and I had nowhere to go. No shelter, nothing. Just this forest. Of course I had some gald, but it was stored at the house. But, oh that's right, I had my bases. To think I had completely forgotten about both bases after all these years with K-, that seraphim, just saying his name was punishment enough.

"I better get going then," Getting up I glanced around, and sighed. It was so hard to live without him, to live without a... friend.

It took me awhile to arrive at the Teth'alle base. It was sheer cold as usual, I hated the cold, but I didn't really care at the moment. I didn't care about anything anymore, just myself. I wouldn't be betrayed again, so I can't trust anything or anyone except myself.

I yawned and pushed open the doors and the lights were off. Terrific. It was completely abandoned and I guessed the power bills had resulted in the loss of electricity. But I had magic to use as energy, so I wasn't phased to much. I was too deep thought to actually realize I had made it to the hangar where my room sat.

It was warm in the main room, unlike the other parts of the base. Raising my head, I looked around the base and sighed. It was so, what was the word I was looking for? Was it lonely? Being away from him couldn't possibly make me lonely could it? Ugh, why did I ever get so close to that bastard.

"Well, if I plan on living here, I better make the best of it," I barely declared, as I clenched my teeth, trying to hold back my grief. I tried to hold my head high, I tried to pretend he had not effect on me, but he did. He had all the effect on me, and that worried me. Could I possibly even live without him? I was starting to learn so.

* * *

**Change to Kratos' Point Of View (Like omigosh am I actually gonna write in Krato's POV! I must also say Akon is on... grr)  
**

* * *

_I plan on it, bastard  
_  
His last words refreshed in my thoughts over and over again. The look on his face, his words were so savage. Had I been too cruel to him? I suspected he wouldn't ever see eye-to-eye with me after all the things I said and did to him. 

The loss of my son was too profound for me, and I didn't know how to handle it in a sufficient manor. All I wanted was him back, my son and my Anna. Losing them was hard enough, but with the deprivation of Yuan was making me sick to my stomach. I never meant to ask him to leave, I just wanted some time to think, and I knew he wouldn't allow that. He was persistent, he cares about me, well cared...

But this house feels different without him. True it might just be a figment of my inner most thoughts but it was different to me. I never meant to use such a harsh tone to him, never meant to get angry, and never meant to lose him.

"Yuan..." Closing my eyes, I sat down at the table starring blankly at the wall. Had it been so long since I was happy? Lowering my head in shame of how much I desired the half-elf I had neglected so austerely. It was true he had a stubborn attitude and times a, prude, nature but I loved him. Even after I told him to leave, and even after I knew we'd never be together I still loved him. And wanted to feel his warmth, feel his body wrapped around mine, feel his hand clasped in mine, feel his silky hair, hear his naive but voice I came to love, hear his quick breaths in the moments, I wanted him, everything about him. All I ever wanted was someone to be with, to love, to laugh with, and to cry with. And I had pushed away that person.

"He'll never come back," I was on the verge of tears for several reasons and things floating around in my thoughts, taunting me. I just wanted to run, run away from everything, but that wouldn't help. The only thing I knew would ever help me was getting Yuan back. Although I never 'needed' someone before, I was starting to slowly, and painfully, learn that I needed Yuan. In the worst way possible.

"Yuan, where are you?" That answer rang out throughout the house. Without Yuan's presence, it just echoed emptily. Nothing to show life. Tightly shutting my eyes, I stood up and pondered for a few moments. He must have not gone far. Unless he really didn't care about us anymore, then he might have fled as far away as he could. I could hardly blame him for wanting to leave our memories after everything I said to him.

There was two ways I could solve this issue, well there was other ways, but those would be of the utmost ridicolous things to do. I could go find Yuan and tell him how I honestly felt, after all these years, or I could live here, without him forever. The choice was obvious, but the fear of rejection loomed around me. I had rejected him so many times before, I wouldn't be stunned if he did the same to me.

But there came the question of where he was. There was no place to go, unless he went somewhere that held no memories of us. Where could that be? It took me many attempts to finally infer where Yuan was. He had gone to the one place that he could, to his base.

"I pray he'll accept me," My voice trailed off into the abyss of nothing, as I walked outside. Soon I could reclaim the person who had been there for me through everything with open arms. After all these years, I finally understood how I truly felt about him. It was something that ran core deep. Not a desire, but a need in me. Without him, I was incomplete.

My navigation skills were rusty, so finding the ice caps of the Flanoir region was a difficulty. But it was all worth it in the long run. Landing roughly into a clump of snow, I jerked off, alittle too soon, which resulted in a mouth full of snow.

"..." I couldn't say anything about this. It was my anxiouty that got the best of me, but still, I needed him. Shaking off some snow, I walked up to the already opened doors. So my assumption was correct. He was here, and my stomach lurched as I walked in. Just knowing Yuan was here made me start shaking. Pausing for a moment, I racked my brain to remeber where Yuan's main room was. Where was it? Something inside of me told me the directions to where he resided.

I stood in front of the main room door. Gulping, I felt like turning back and forgetting that I even came here, but I couldn't even live with myself. I had to go in. Just had to. The door flung open, well slid, and my glance went from the wall to Yuan, who's back was turned to me. Possibly he didn't hear me enter.

I had to stay quiet, so as swiftly as I could I walked to where Yuan was. My first idea was to say something but I just watched him look out the window. Everything about him was so, tempting, and I couldn't understand this burning desire I had for him. My palms became sweaty as I stood behind him. Mustering up all the courage I had, I placed my arms around Yuan, almost in an akward-backwards hug.

I could tell his heart stopped. He remained as stiff as stone, as I held my arms around him. He felt so much more enjoyable to hold. After a few seconds, he whirled around, in shock and starred up at me. I was expecting him to either hit me like he always did, but his gaze softtened as I held him close.

"K-kratos? What do you want..."He stuttered. He was obviously nervous. My anxiouty melted as I starred into his eyes and just held my arms around his numb body. How much I wanted him here and now.

"Yuan..." Was all I could say in reply. I wanted to tell him how sorry I was, and that i never meant to be so cruel, but just looking at him, I couldn't get those words out. He tilted his head, as his bangs pushed in his face. For some reason, just my actions were telling him how sorry I was for everything. I had been through so much, I didn't even know what I was saying.

"You came for me?" I heard him speak, shaking. Why was he shaking. Was he afraid that I would turn back into that heartless and crude side of me? Poor Yuan. I held him tighter as I watched his gaze flicker at me as I watched him intenly.

Reaching out my arm, I pushed aside his bangs and kissed him softly. I just held him in that position, I didn't want to let go. Pausing for a moment, I rested the side of my face against his.

"I'm sorry," I managed. Yuan starred back at me, glance filled with desire. He was still shaking as I held him close. This wasn't like all those other times. The passion and chemistry between the two of us was whelling up, like never before. He buried his head into my chest and suddenely held me tight.

"Kratos, kratos," I heard him rasp. Tilting my head, I looked down at his head which was buried against me. A soft smile rolled across my face and I ran a hand along his hair and kissed the top of his head, reassuirngly.

"I'm not going anywhere," I breathed softly as he clutched me tightly. This obstacle was making us stronger, and I knew it was something we could overcome, together. Lightly raising his head, I looked him straight in the eye, tears were lightly falling from his emerald eyes. My heart hurt for him but I didn't say anyhing.

"Please don't," I heard him reply in a whisper. Lightly smiling, I kissed his forehead and just breathed heaviliy, in attempts to let him talk, go slow.

"Yuan?" I asked softly, he just hushed me by sharply kissing my lips. He was so sweet, and every kiss was a treat. He looked at me for a few minutes before replying.

"Yes?" He asked curiously as he ran a hand through my untidy hair. He had stopped shaking, and he seemed a bit less unerved. I stutttered at the right words, how could I explain this need I had for him. I just pulled him closer and mumbled.

"I need you.," I hummed in his ear. I didn't hear his reply, he was quiet like that.

"This time I won't say no,"He whispered back resting his head against the side of my face. Glowing a bit at him, I ran a hand down his chest, not wanting to say anything in reply. It wasn't the thing between wanting him, I needed him. I couldn't live without him. He wasn't an acessory, but a requirement to live. He was my life support.

"Yuan..." I spoke, still tracing his outline. He was starting to shake a bit, but he bit down his lip, seeming a bit annoyed that I kept talking. Glaring at me, he kissed me aggressively and uttered a few words in my ear, in a peeved voice.

"Enough talk, Kratos,"

Those words played in my head. I was stunned, he had changed so much through these years. He used to be so shy about his feelings and wants, but now he made everything clear, and I had to admire his changes. He changed for the best, and I loved him, no matter how he acted.

"I'm not going to let you slip away ever again," I spoke, oblivious of Yuan's demand to stop talking. He glanced up at me, distracted by my wandering hands.

"I wouldn't let you even if I had to persuade you myself,"He answered, as I contiuned to run my hands across him. I could only grin, thinking of what he meant by persuade. I wanted to be 'persuade' right now.

"What if I said I wanted to be persuaded now?" I dared. I was expecting no response but a mischievous look flickered in his emerald eyes. He extended his arms and fumbled with my clothing.

"Then I would have to persuade you," He murmured, attentive to his goal of attacking my garments. Rolling my eyes I stopped my hands from wandering over him and took his hands in mine.

"I'd like that," I spoke, blinking at him as I released his hands. Snickering, he went back to his goals and then glanced back up at me.

"I'm sure you will," He spoke, in a relaxed tone. He had finally achieved his 'goal' and ran a hand across my chest then glanced up at me, almost to say something. "I love you..." He whispered wrapping himself around me, in a gentle hug.

"I love you too Yuan, I won't ever leave your side again,"I replied embracing sweetly.

* * *

**Autor's Note: **

I best stop there, before I am obligated to change the fanfics rating. Implied Lemons pwn all and take names! wh00t wh00t! I kept squeaking as I re read through the pre-lemon part. Oh well. lol, you'll just haveto use your imaginations people on what happens next. Sorry it was sorta short and it sucked... lol so sorry bout that!

Yea, I like alternating point of views. I might do that in the next chapter, or just go back to writing in Yuan's. Whatever, or I could switch on and off every other chapter. Hmmmmm, lol. Yea, my T key is still broken but I can still type, just takes alittle more effort but I am determined to supply my people with there k/y needs!

Nall: You're... people?

me: Uh yea, MY people.

Nall: Sure... hey guess what. The asaylum called today looking for you.

Me: o.O What did you tell them?...

Nall: I told them you were highly dangerous and should only be aproached with giant needles filled with rattlesnake venom,

Me: Ain't that stuff deadly!

Nall: Yea... but I lied and said you were oblvious to it's effects.

Me: YOU BASTARD (chucks a muffin at him)

Nall: A muffin... I am so fucking scared

Me: You use such vulguar language...

Nall: Because you drive me insane, dumb ass.

Me: Well, since you made fun of me, you shall give me ideas for the next chapter!

Nall: Great...Just make it all lemons for heaven's sake.

Me: Hmm, I am thinking a beach scene. (squeaks) Sun Tan Lotion (winks)

Nall: O.O... you are scaring me, seriously. What are you going to do with the sun tan lotion.

Me: You'll have to wait and see!

Nall: (gags) Ughhh! that's disguisting

Me? Sometimes I think you have a dirtier mind then me.. anyways please review or I shall get the asyalum to chase after you!


	13. Chapter 13: If You Believe

**Beware this AWESOMELY k/y chapter! And lemons of doom! MY T KEY IS BACK! I spent two hours putting it back on. I am so happy, I feel like crying. No more hard typing, I ran around my house screaming, "T KEY IS BACK!"and then I hugged the computer and went "I love you t key!" and now I am watching the Video Music Awards, I keep having heart attacks when The Killers come on. I basically choked myself when they were nominated! I love them so much! And when they performed live, I screamed so loud and was like jumping in the air trying to breath.**

**Nall: Shut up about the sun tan lotion and start with the warnings and disclaimer crap you always bore us with.**

**Me: Whatever. This chapter will be in Yuan's pov, and the next one also. I dunno, maybe Kratos' all depends on how I feel.**

**Warnings: Strong Shonen-Ai; Some Language, Sun Tan Lotion (Nall: How did I know she was going to do that?) and mild spoilers. Actually there is no sun tan lotion in the story xD Just my random thoughts. SO beware of my random thoughts!**

**

* * *

**

_i would have given you all of my heart  
but there's someone who's torn it apart  
and he's taken just all that i have  
but if you want i'll try to love again  
baby, i'll try to love again, but i know... _

the first cut is the deepest  
baby i know  
the first cut is the deepest  
but when it comes to bein' lucky, he's cursed  
when it comes to lovin' me, he's worst...

i still want you by my side  
just to help me dry the tears that i've cried  
and i'm sure gonna give you a try  
if you want i'll try to love again, try  
baby, i'll try to love again, but i know...

the first cut is the deepest  
baby i know  
the first cut is the deepest  
but when it comes to bein' lucky, he's cursed  
but when it comes to lovin' me, he's worst...

i still want you by my side  
just to help me dry the tears that i've cried  
but i'm sure gonna give you a try  
cuz if you want i'll try to love again  
try to love again, try to love again  
baby, i'll try to love again but i know

**

* * *

**

**E**ternal** S**ouls  
Chapter 13: If You Believe  
Yuan's POV

* * *

"Welcome back home Yuan!" 

Home. How I loved every part of that word. Just arriving back home with Kratos made up for all the painful memories shared in this house. My base lacked that 'feeling' you got when you walked into a place you called home. I longed for that feeling all my life, and it was right in front of me the whole time. I glanced at Kratos who was stupidly standing in the doorway of the house like I had just won this or something. Rolling my eyes, I walked in slowly, and glanced around. Everything was the same, nothing changed. Before my mind could dart off into any other thoughts, Kratos had grabbed me by the hand and dragged me into the kitchen.

"Cooking for yourself can get boring, you know that?" Kratos hummed as he let go of my hand and set down a plate of 'food'. Glancing at it mysteriously, I sat down next to him and just starred at it, sizing it up. I could tell Kratos was a bit taken back at my, um curiosity towards his food. But he did have miserable cooking skills, well except for his pancakes.

"What, is it?"I asked, jabbing the plate with my fork. Raising an eyebrow, I sighed heavily and looked over at Kratos who was already eating. How could he eat this crap? Just the smell wafting from it sickened my stomach majorly.

Kratos shook his head and gave a stiff nod, as to say it was food. But what kind of food, sure it could be food, but was it edible food for humans? Or was it pack mule feed. Just thinking of that possibility made me shove the plate away from myself. Kratos sighed and shoved his from his place as well, almost in agreeance.

"It wasn't that good anyhow," Kratos admitted. He was _so_ modest about it. Rolling my eyes, I dared to look back over at Kratos who was fiddling with his glass, nervously. Usually he never shut the hell up, so this silence was odd. But so much appreciated.

"So..." I began, yawning. I hadn't got sleep for about twenty-four hours now, so my fatigue was catching up on me and it was apparently showing. Looking over, I watched as Kratos got up and walked into his room. Tilting my head with curiosity, oh so much curiosity, I waited for a few minutes before following in pursuit.

"Kratos what are you-" I began as I pushed open the door. At first I was expecting him to be changing, but he was rummaging through a few draws busily. Raising an eyebrow, I walked over to where he was crouched down, and just watched him closer.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to plan a trip to Altamaria," Kratos answered, daring a look over his shoulder. He returned back to whatever he was doing at the time. Staring blankly at Kratos, I got up from my uncomfortable position and sat on the bed.

Why a trip all of a sudden? Did he have any money? Was he expecting me to pay for his petty pleasures, surely he wasn't thinking that. He wasn't that self-centered. Yawning, I looked back down at Kratos and thought for the right words to ask him.

"Uh yea, sure, but why?" I questioned, trying not to act like it was a bad idea. Usually I gave off the 'feeling' that I disliked everything. And to be honest I usually did dis-like a lot of things, but I did enjoy the finer things in life. But why plan a trip to such a gaudy resort? Kratos had never liked it before. Humans have the oddest minds sometimes.

"No reason, just felt like getting out for a bit,"Kratos replied, packing a few clothes in a suitcase I never knew he had. Or had he just bought it when I was gone? Either way I was still curious about his intentions even though he had told me there was no reason. There was always a reason, always.

"Right," I replied, trying to sound positive. I didn't really care for Altamaria that much, but maybe I could open up a bit and try to see it in a new light? Nah, that was too much effort, and if this was a vacation, or trip as he called it, it was supposed to be stress free. Ah the irony of things like this.

"I'll pay of course," Kratos added in, still not looking me in the eye. He was, none the less, packing his clothes even if I had any objections. Ruby glance was fixed sternly on getting his clothes in that small suitcase.

Tilting my head I pondered for a few minutes. He was paying? when did _he_ ever get enough gald for something that expensive. Either way, it was still a nice gesture, and at least I could give him that credit. Well, what it was worth anyhow. Looking back at Kratos, I attempted a softened flicker of amusement.

"All right," I replied, watching Kratos hard at work with his packing goals. Possibly I should pack also? Looking over at the cabinet array from his, I twitched an eye uneasily. Last time I went through that was when we had our 'quarrel'. But those things had to be forgotten and I had to move on, and forget about things like that. Ugh, my life has changed so much.

"Then I would propound that you start packing as well?" He asked, in a relaxed tone. He looked at me for a few seconds, then darted his looks rapidly back at his suit case and stood in front of it, blocking my view of all the clothes he had managed to stuff into the leather carrying case.

Packing, I hated packing. If you're just going to put the clothes back, why take them out? It was such a waste of time. Lowering my gaze at the cabinet, I got up and saw a suitcase on the side of the dresser. So Kratos had bought one for me as well? With a flicker of gratitude towards Kratos, I stuffed the small amount of clothes into the suitcase and snapped it shut. This was easier then Kratos made it look.

Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Kratos, still hunched over his suitcase, and what looked like was shoving clothes in an order. He was so picky about his things. Getting up, I walked over to him and he snapped his suitcase shut suddenly, stood up, and beamed at me.

I found that extremely odd. Kratos, beam at me innocently. Something was up, or he was just high on something. I was betting my 'suitcase' on the fact Kratos found pleasure in dragging me somewhere I hated. With a sigh, I looked up at him and held my suitcase in my hand weakly. It wasn't that heavy, but the material used in the handle was awfully scratchy and it was starting to annoy me.

To be honest, I had never gone a real 'vacation' before. Sure I've been to countless places in both adjoining worlds, but they were all for business or things I had to attend to. So this would be my first 'real' vacation. So how could I say I hated a vacation when I never had been on one before. I guess giving this a shot was the only choice I had in mind.

"Ready?" Kratos asked, returning back to his normal; care-free but stern attitude I have grown accustomed to. Slightly shaking my head, I held my suitcase and watched as Kratos tightly held his in his left hand. He had such a strong grip on that handle I was sure it would break from the pressure, but it stood firm.

"Yea, yea," I muttered, in a yawn of annoyance. I watched Kratos lightly kick his cabinet shut with his right hand and turned back to me. Shifting positions, he what seemed like marched out of the bedroom with a determined look on his face. I was left standing there, in boredom and dread of this so called get away.

Kratos was the weirdest human I had ever seen, possibly because all these years living together might have driven him insane. Or maybe he had changed for the better because of the time spent together and the fact that I was still by his side. Either reason, he was still strange in my book. Strange like a duck.

Walking out into the kitchen and to the forier, I watched Kratos fling his suitcase into the cargo hold of his Rheaird from the window. He was rearing to get going, as if he honestly wanted this vacation more then anything. shrugging off any doubt, I walked outside into the bright sun and trudged up to my Rheaird.

At first the stupid cargo holder wouldn't open, so a sufficient kick helped it spring open. Shoving my suitcase in with a thousand time less care then Kratos did, I jumped onto the Rheaird and glanced over at Kratos who was looking up at the sky. More so for any weather patterns.

Kratos didn't say anything before he kick started his take off and shot into the air. I at first thought he'd fly off without me but he hovered in the air awaiting me. Rolling my eyes, I slowly gathered height and flew by side the seraphim. Why did we use these wretched machines when we had wings? That questioned lingered for me for what seemed like two seconds before Kratos darted off to the east. Being dragged back to reality, I sped after him, not really in a race, just to make sure he didn't get too ahead of me.

We landed in Altamaria around ten minutes after our departure. It was as crowded as ever, and just the sight of so many, _humans_, made my stomach lurch. Even after the fight to end the discrimination against half elves, just the news that Mithos himself was one and he had attempted to bring world havoc sent a shiver down humans spines and made their hate for us return. More brutal then ever. But with Kratos by my side, I guess I could ignore it.

"Nice day isn't it?" I heard Kratos speak contentedly as he swung off his Rheaird. First thing he did was take out his suitcase and grab it's handle with that maniac grip he had before. Sighing, I got off, less dramatic and got out my suitcase. Kratos walked slowly into the resort, probably waiting for me. Following leisurely, I caught up to him as we entered the hotel. Or whatever the building was.

"You know what you're doing right?" I asked, a tad alarmed at Kratos' knowledge of hotels. But my fears were disintegrated as Kratos proudly walked up to the hotel manager and waited for me to follow. Starring blankly at the humans who were congregating in the main hall, I stood beside the swordsmen.

"How may I help you," The manager spoke with the most fake voice I had ever heard. I mean, no one was that perky in real life, and I knew that. Squinting awkwardly, I glanced at Kratos who had already taken out an amount of gald I didn't see, and was speaking clearly.

"A room for-" My mind drifted off as he began to talk. Just the people looking at me, with those look on their faces, made me hate humans even more. I wanted to smack every last one of them, or possibly even kill. I glanced over at Kratos and heard the words a room for. I was praying he would say two, seeing just saying one would sound even weirder. Too weird. "two." He finished.

With a sigh of relief, I watched the manager and Kratos exchange gald for two passes to a room. He looked over at me, content with his people skills and slowly walked towards the elevator. This slow walk was an opportunity to talk, so I took it right off the bat.

"What level?" Was all that came out of my mouth. Real smooth. What level? That was like asking a starving animal to wait a few more minutes for fresh kill. Lowering my gaze, I heard Kratos contentedly speak something.

"Four, but we're only going up to the room for a few minutes. Time would be wasted if we stayed up there all day, correct?" He asked, looking for my opinion. Those words just stunned me. For once Kratos wasn't looking for his usual interests that he always found so appealing. That relieved me thousands as I finally gave the smallest smile.

"Yes, that's right," I replied, looking at the elevator. Kratos flicked the button for up and it was a breath before it flung open. I was alittle startled but Kratos walked straight on. He must have come here a lot on the journeys with the others, so knowing what to do was his specialty. Actually, his specialty in _alot _of things.

"The room's over-looking the ocean. I didn't want to spend good gald on a poor view," Kratos announced as followed him on the elevator and the doors shut tightly. We began to move up but my mind was still fixed on the suitcase and a few other random thoughts. Turning his head, he watched me with what seemed like curiosity.

"Oh, really," I replied quickly, daggering my eyes off the suitcase and back to Kratos. With a swift nod, he adjusted his hold on the suitcase and waited for the elevator to stop. Taking my eyes off Kratos and his possessions, I also eyed the door.

The doors sharply opened at a small hallway. There was only was seemed like three doors. But the distance in between each was enormouus, a good hundred feet. Whatever Kratos had gotten it must have been a reasonable amount of gald. Which brought me back to the idea on where he had gotten so much.

"The last door," Kratos declared walking alongside me. With a bit of curiosity, I bit down on my lip and continued to walk alongside Kratos until we finally made it to the door. Flick of the wrist and Kratos had slid one of the passes through the lock on the door and it pushed open. He walked in leaving me to follow in pursuit.

At first I was expecting a 'run-of-the-mill' room but just looking at the luxieres accessories with the room was simply breath-taking. Shaking my head lightly to stop from staring, I walked into the room and found a bed adjacent to the one Kratos had set his suitcase down on. At least he had the manors to get two beds. It had been a few months since I had my own room, or bed for that matter, and the simple thought of ones privacy lightened the mood.

"Just set down your stuff,we'll unpack later," He spoke lightly. It wasn't a demand, but a request. Lightly setting down the suitcase on the bed, my eyes flickered back to Kratos' suitcase. What was in it that he didn't want me to see. Knowing him it was something stupid, like another pet. But I could deal with that, I mean you couldn't hold anything life-threating in a suitcase!

"Were you planning on going anywhere before unpacking?" I asked, letting a yawn escape from my mouth in between words. I sat down on my bed, and the usual feeling of being sucked into your furniture was no more as I sat firmly in the same position I was in. I could honestly get used to this.

Kratos glanced over, and thought for a few moments. He slid his suitcase to his side and took out a few items, which seemed like a comb and brushed his hair quickly and shoved it back into his suitcase. Since when did he care so much about his hair? Afraid that he'd attempt to brush it again, I added in the slightly compliment.

"Your hair's fine," I pointed out kindly. Kratos looked over, stunned to see I had watched him stroke through his auburn hair. What seemed like the smallest blush overcame Kratos, but he quickly replaced that with a stern look then stood up.

"Well, since you seem to have a dislike for my cooking, I'd thought we'd eat something other then my cooking tonight?" He suggested. Finally! For once some real food! Between the furniture and the idea of gourmet food, I was warming up to this idea of a getaway every second.

With a sharp odd, I stood up also and stretched my arms in the air. Kratos looked over at me and walked to the door and waited for me there. Pausing for a few seconds to look at his suitcase, in wonder of what it hold, I followed him. Extending his hand, he handed me the second pass to the room.

"Here," He spoke as I felt the pass slip into my hands. Nodding, I led Kratos out of the room and to the elevator.

We stopped at the second floor and got out. To think that the restaurant was as nice as the hotel rooms was farfetched, but it was true. All the tables in my sight were hand decorated with the nicest linings and had gold silverware. Just looking at in awe, I felt Kratos tug lightly on my arm after what seemed like seconds had passed.

"Come on, you can stop drooling now. We're being seated," He made clear as I took my eyes off the looks of the place and followed Kratos and what seemed like a nicely dressed waiter to a seat farthest in the back, next to a window.

"Why are we sitting so far away?" I hesitated as I took my seat. Kratos sat down and the waiter disappeared momentarily. Almost immediately, Kratos looked over at me and just lightly smiled then looked at the view.

"Just a stroke of luck I assume," He spoke. Right, that was a lie, but a good attended one from what I saw. Sighing, I looked out the window at the setting sun over the waves. It was truly a magnificent sight, Martel would have loved something this grand. Looking back at Kratos who had picked up a menu from the table and buried his face into it. Doing the same I attempted to read over the words. What the hell were these things? Truffle Sufleau. Bet it tasted as odd as it sounded.

"Good day gentlemen, how are you doing this evening," The waiter suddenly spoke appearing out of what seemed no where. Trying not to seemed startled, I glanced back down at the menu, hoping Kratos would take the hint that I wasn't to thrilled on the idea of talking to a human.

"Fine, just on a trip," Kratos spoke vaguely. I still had my face buried in the menu, so I could see neither Kratos or the waiter. Just like I wanted it to be. Careless humans. The waiter gave a stiff chuckle then I heard a wisp of paper being taken out.

"Ah, business brings you to Altamaria, must be related to the Leranzo," The waiter chimed. Business sure, whatever. I just looked back down at the menu and sighed heavily, ears keen on the conversation even though it looked like I could care less.

"Exactly. Anyway, we'll take two of the house special of the night with the finest drink," Kratos murmured, not sure what to order. He seemed as nervous as I was at the moment. Possibly he had never ordered food before. Hearing a pen scrape annoyingly at the paper the waiter chuckled again. Man was he getting annoying. But why had he said drink. Oh well.

"Ah, yes nice choice. I'll put those in for you. Enjoy your meals," And with that he left. With a sigh of relief I withdrew from the shield of the menu and looked at Kratos who was staring at the golden silverware. Gulping uneasily at the fact at being at a restaurant, I cleared my throat.

"Thanks for erm, ordering or whatever you call it," I thanked him. Kratos looked over at me, surpised to see that I was thanking him. Within a few minutes, the waiter returned with the drinks and scampered off. I couldn't stand if he had stayed.

"Don't worry about it," Kratos spoke taking a sip of his lightly colored glass. Shrugging, I picked up mine and just eyed it. Whatever it was, it smelt strong. Fighting back the instictent to not drink, I took a sip against my will. Well, I was sure it wasn't alochol, it didn't have that strong taste. Raising an eyebrow at Kratos I set it down then looked out the window.

Remaining silent, I watched a few waves crash against the sandy beaches. Every minute the sun was setting farther down and the area seemed to alumnight more beautifull every passing second. Glancing back at over at Kratos, I noticed he seemed troubled but I didn't want to anything to offend him at this point in time.

Ten minutes passed by soundly and the waiter appeared with what looked like a gourment beef stew. It smelt, looked, and I bet it tasted better then Kratos' cooking. I didn't take my eyes off the food, but Kratos glanced up at the waiter countless times before he left us in peace. I took a bite, damn it was good, and looked up at Kratos who only took a bite here and there but remained watching me.

"Do you like it?" Kratos asked nervously. Slightly nodding my head, I went back to eating before my gaze caught Kratos, jabbing at his food. I knew it wasn't the quailty of the food, but it was the fact something was troubling him. Taking a quick sip of whatever was in my glass, I looked at Kratos curoisly.

"You ok?" I asked casually. Kratos looked back at me and seemed emotionless for a few seconds then gave a distant nodd. Tilting my head, I stopped eating and watched Kratos shift positions a couple times before straighteing up and just looked at me.

"Never been better..." He spoke softly. Never been better? Was that just a play on words? I was hoping seeing that I doubted this dinner could go against anything else we ever did. I took another bite before getting annoyed that Kratos wasn't eating.

"Is something on your mind? Or are you just spacing out like a idiot?" I spoke, with a hint of amusement. Kratos had a flick of amusement on his face and he looked very sternly at me. I was starting to become as nervous as him. But why to be nervous at such a relaxed time. Slowly the pieces of the puzzle were starting to work together. The table far away, the quiet vacation, the secret of the suitcase, and his nervousness. It was all pointing to... But was that really on Kratos' mind! I was shaking a bit as I looked at him.

"Actually, yes there is," He spoke, stuttering. Holding my breath, I watched Kratos' gaze. Slowly I watched Kratos extend a black box. My heart sank and I starred at him. Possibly that was a box of mints? Or box of, something. Biting down my lip I watched him.

"That's," I began. Kratos shook his head, and seemed less nervous. He looked very passiontaely at me and set it down on the table, tightly shut. My eyes scanned it. Was that really what he was hiding so intently. This whole vacation was based on this moment. Flickering a gaze to him I picked it up. My hands were shaking so I was afraid I'd drop the box.

Flipping it open my eyes melted and I looked at Kratos intently as he seemed awfully embarrased. Lightl smiling I looked at the contents of the box. It was silver, and gleamed in the dim candle light.

"Kratos is this?" I began. Kratos smiled, for the first time fully on this vacation, and nodded softly. And I smiled for the first time also and just starred at it. A sinking feeling overwhelmed me and dread loomed around me. It was true, but it could never be set in stone. There was no possible way to.

"You do know that we couldn't possibly-" I began I said sitting the box down. It wasn't a rejection, just an obstactle in the road. Kratos took my hands and closed his eyes for a few minutes. I thought he had fallen into a light slumber but then gazed at me and whispered softly.

"It's possible if you believe it is," He whispered rubbing his hand across mine. His words... It would never be possible, but if we thought it was possible. Maybe that would make up for it. Possibly. Smiling once more, I nodded softly.

"I do believe, I do," I spoke lightly, and just looked back down at the box. Our lives finally meant something after those times so long ago with Anna, and Martel. Finally a meaning in life. And now we had something that bonded us together. And now, I never felt more close to Kratos. I did believe it, and that was all that mattered. If we believed it was possible, it was.

* * *

**Author's Note: **

Whoah! It sounded like I ended the story! No I didn't end the story! No no no! There are still many more plot twists. I just found this chapter so fluffy and airy after all those angst chapters.

Nall: Why would Kratos want to get engaded to yuan O.O

Me: -.-; Because. And shut up, everything was so calm and relaxed before you said it in the open.

Nall: Oh really? Then let me say this! It was a silver ring! Ha ha ha!

Me: SHUT UP! You're not suppossed to come out and say that you idiot. I hate you sometimes you know that. Anyways, I do have a few ideas for the next chapter, so I'll be thinking. Two day wait at the most reviewers. I'll have to talk to all my buddies.

Nall: Knowing her she'll make them do something odd.

Me: Cut it out.

Nall: Oh I get it now. The boat has taken it's monthly rounds.

Me: Boat?...

Nall: You don't get metaphor's do you? No wonder you're dumb.

Me: HEY! I get good grades in language.

Nall: Mhm, sure. Whatever.

Me: Anyways review. Or... I'll make the Killers dress up as something and chase you down. Final Note; I LOVE THE KILLERS! YOU GUYS ARE SO FREAKING HOT AND TALENTED!


	14. Chapter 14: Past, lies, love

**Sorry I haven't updated in, like forever. I've been ubberly busy with school, friends, being on the radio, and trying to keep in touch with my boyfriend even though there is 2,000 miles in between us. I think I almost cried during Algebra when I looked at the country map and just starred at Connecticut then at Washington. Nothing will ever be the same for me. So yea, that's my excuses for delaying this chapter. And plus I needed ideas. The last chapter was so, blissful, I needed to think of something less fluffy but so important to both Kratos and Yuan. Gaspthed! I bet you can't wait to hear! Eh? **

Also I am thinking of two things. I need you the readers advice please. Should I continue on this or end it and make a sequel? I'm not entirely sure, seeing if I made a new story in continuation, I'd be switching off from Yuan to Kratos every other chapter. But with this story I am obligated to stick with Yuan's point of view at least for half the chapter. Seeing it's basically all in Yuan's. So Yea, advice please! So appreciated!

Warnings; Shonen-Ai; Language, Suggestive Themes, More importantly; Spoilers. This chapter may reveal a few things for those who haven't completed the game. So proceed with caution. And one more thing I'd like to add, please review. And flamers, I'll be waiting for you with a sharp pitch fork of doom, mwahaha!

* * *

**Eternal Souls  
Chapter 14: Past;Lies;Love**

_You know my soul  
you know everything about me there's to know  
you know my heart  
how to make me stop & how to make me go  
you should know i love everything  
about you don't you know _

that i'm thankful  
for the blessing  
and the lessons that i've learned w/you  
by my side  
that i'm thankful so thankful for the love  
that you keep bringing in my life  
in my life  
Thankful so thankful

* * *

"Kratos, wake up." 

Running a hand through his strands of auburn hair, a flicker of amusement passed my lips. It was late morning, and I had already been awake for a few hours now, and already dressed. I didn't want to wake Kratos, so I let him sleep until I got ready for the day. But just looking at his sleeping body made me want to curl up next to him and fall back asleep. But that was a weakness, and if we planned on a pure relationship, then I would have to learn to be able to overcome Kratos' temptation. Even though I wanted it just as bad.

Just as I expected, the seraphim rolled over in his sleep and faced me, eyes tightly shut. He was still in slumber, I guessed, and he didn't look like he wanted to be awakened. Rolling my eyes, agitated, I walked away from his bed and sat down on mine and looked out the window. Another beautiful day in Altamria. It seemed like everyday at this seaside resort was beautiful. Even the weather seemed perfect today, not to warm but yet not blistering cold. Yet if Kratos didn't wake up, this day would be wasted sleeping. To think I would by a hypocrite about sleeping the days away.

Jerking my head from looking out the window, I glanced over back at the sleeping Kratos. He looked so eternally peaceful when he slept, and I couldn't blame him. His proposition last night took guts, and I admired his will to be happy even though he probably had his heart blasted into pieces far more times then any regular human. But he wasn't a 'regular' human, he was an angelic seraphim who had been granted an eternal damnation. But even pushing away that important fact, he was _my_ human.

"Nnnn," I heard Kratos yawn. Arising from my bed, trying to be silent, I walked over to where Kratos was sleeping and peeked to see if he was still asleep. His face showed no signs that he was awake, and the relaxed expressions proved that fact. Trying my best to smile, I shrugged off any annoyance I had at that moment and sat down next to the window once more.

The room was so large, you could practically get lost in it. Still wondering where and when Kratos had gotten enough gald to cover this, I glanced back at the swordsmen who was in his deep slumber. Would he ever wake up? Or was I expected to sit around all day waiting for him to wake up on his own. Not even my voice jerked him away from dreamland, so my only other thoughts would be to pleasurably wake him up. Or would that be a wasted attempt too?

Getting up, for the third time this morning, I walked over to Kratos bed and sat down at the edge of it. At first I wasn't too sure on what I was going to do, but the idea gradually came to me. Scouting closer up along the blankets, I ran a hand through his hair once more and rested it on the side of his face.

"You're oversleeping again," I warned, as I continued to run my hand from hair to cheek. No response came from him, I sighed heavily and withdrew my hand and just sat there. Now had been the real first time I had realized that I had slipped the ring on the finger next to Martel's. It seemed so, similar that I had to look closer to tell the difference between them. But still, it didn't matter what it looked like, it was the thought, and the desire that made it so worthwhile.

"Yuan?" Sharply turning my head and look from the ring to Kratos, I noticed he had finally awoken from his little realm. Lightly smirking, I went back to stroking his hair and face, almost as if he was still asleep. How blissful it truly was.

"Finally, you're awake," I yawned. Yawned? I couldn't possibly be tired right after Kratos wakes up, could I? Pushing away any desire to fall back asleep, I looked down at Kratos who had opened his eyes, but didn't budge from his comfortable spot underneath his blankets. How nice he had it under there, but yet, I liked being the one on top of things for a change.

"I've had a lot on my mind lately, so I apologize for an inconvenience I had on you," Kratos explained, raising his body and head up, so his back was leaning against the head board. Stretching his arms in the air, as he usually did when he woke up, he shot me a worried glance. Could he possibly be worrying that I had second thoughts about this ordeal. Honestly, I didn't have any, and if I did, I wouldn't tell Kratos for all the gald in both worlds. I just couldn't do that to him.

"N-no, it's all right Kratos," I replied softly, taking my eyes off the seraphim momentarily. That look in his ruby eyes told me something was on his mind, not a drastic something, but something. That look I knew all to well, so I prepared myself for anything I might learn in the near future. That was, if Kratos dared to speak of what was on his mind. Sometimes you just needed to mess with someone's head to get the facts out. And messing with people's heads was my specialty.

"Good," Kratos replied quickly. Still keeping my glance off of him, I shot up off his bed and sat down next to the window. Risking a glance back at Kratos, I noticed he had gotten out of bed and was walking around to find his day clothes. Good thing to, seeing his night clothes weren't all, well you just wouldn't think someone like Kratos would wear something like _that_. But yet again, Kratos was different, far more different then any other human I had come across, so different was good.

"Any plans for today? Or do you plan on sleeping all day or staying in the room?" Glancing over to see Kratos reaction, I spoke in short phrases, more so to see what was on Kratos' mind. To my surprise he gave a quick grimace to himself, but then looked over at me and lightly smiled. Liar. To think he still kept things from me. How many times did we have to go through this before he would understand he could tell me anything. Just for once I wanted Kratos to come out and say something instead of being so secretive. Or maybe this was his way of doing things, doing things that he thought would peeve me. Now he was the one messing with _my_ head.

"If you don't have any objections Yuan, I'd like to merely walk around Altamria today solo. Just some time to clear my mind of any looming thoughts. You know the sort," Kratos meekly said as he put on his last article of clothing before actually looking like someone who was awake and ready to go. He hid whatever was on his mind with a stern and firm glance. An unbreakable rock.

No, I didn't know _the sort_. Looming thoughts? Just what 'looming thoughts' were troubling him that he couldn't feel fit to tell me. And he even asked if I had any objections, how small brained was that interjection. Of course I found issues with him going out by himself, especially at a time like this. Right now I wanted to be with him, not be stuck up in a hotel room with nothing to do, without him. Humans made things so more rash then they seemed.

Crossing my arms, now annoyed at the seraphim, I gave a stiff nod in return, almost to say I could care less. Biting down on my lips in attempt to stop myself for expressing how I was feeling, I could only nod. Just nod and pretend nothing was on my mind. And that's exactly what I did.

"Do what you wish," I retorted, trying to sound as pleasant as I could. As a matter of fact, what I sounded like when I said those words was that I was trying not to scream after eating something sour. Why couldn't I lie to Kratos' face, he found it so easy to lie to me. Yet I find myself finding it harder and harder to lie to him, I'm that deep in. Six feet below, metaphorically speaking.

"I'll be back before long, so please relax while I am absent," And with that said he left the hotel room, head as high as it could possibly be, as if he was a soldier going out before his General.

I sat there in shock. Just the words Kratos was using was what really ticked me off to the point of no return. Please relax? Oh right, like I was going to relax being stuffed into a fussy room all day with nothing to do, as I coveted for Kratos' return. He just didn't get how much he meant to me. I'd do _anything_ for him, but he still doesn't get that! Still doesn't believe I'd stay by his side no matter what the cost. I needed him with me, and I wouldn't screw that up.

* * *

It wasn't long before I found myself falling asleep on my bed, from sheer boredom. The hours had ticked away, minute by minute actually, and I got tired of waiting so I did the next best thing, sleep. Sleeping was a getaway from any problems I had, any issues I didn't want to face, and the residing question about Kratos' and where his heart lie. And I always told myself sleeping was the one place to forget Kratos, but that was a lie itself. All I ever thought about when I slept was him. Everything and anything about _him_. His eyes, his voice, his stupid pancakes, everything about him I dreamt about. 

"Yuan, are you...asleep?"

I was jerked back from my thoughts about everything from the seraphim's voice. Scratching my head, eyes tightly shut, I sighed and just laid there. I hadn't gotten undressed of anything of the sort, just laid there on the bed starring out the window before falling asleep. And that was really pathetic. Even for me.

"Humph, well pleasant dreams then Yuan," I heard Kratos whisper softly. Those words were the ones that could catch me off guard. No matter how angry I got at him, just hearing him say something like that to me made everything better. It made everything right for me and him. Still, I acted as if I was in a deep sleep.

"Yuan- I wish I had the courage to tell you what's been distressing me, i'm sorry," I felt him sit down on the bed and before long he had begun to softly stroke my hair.

Damn, it felt so good. But the pleasure would have been so much more pleasing if he had known I was awake. But the fact Kratos hadn't approached our lives lately was also interesting in itself. But still,to have Kratos both confess something was on his mind and be alongside me was pure gold.

"Well, I'll leave you to peace Yuan, I'll see you when you get up," He murmured softly kissing my forehead before withdrawing from my bed and retreating to his own for god knows what.

It was over before it started. Maybe I should have grabbed him before he got up and told him how I was feeling. Or maybe I should have pretended to just have woken up. Either way I sliced it, I had just laid there, completely powerless to Kratos' touch.

"Kratos..." His name escaped my lips accidentally. Truly it was by accident, and I couldn't go back now. Clenching my teeth, I waited for a reply. Possibly he would think I was calling for him in my sleep? That was a good idea, but I highly doubted Kratos of all people would fall for that.

"Yes?" His answer rang out like a bell chiming in a cathedral. Sighing, I rolled over and faced his bed and opened my eyes.

There he sat, on his bed with a wrapped box of some sort. I didn't really want to know what was in there, fearing the worst as usual, so I acted as if I was groggy and wasn't fully awake. Thinking of something to say as if I was half asleep, I put together something befitting.

"D-don't go," I spoke, almost in a whisper. Ok, it wasn't the best thing to say, but it fit in a time like this. If I wanted to make him think I was half asleep, something random was my best bet. The wonders of messing with the mind of someone you love.

"Yuan, wake up," I closed my eyes tightly, realizing he thought I was still asleep. He felt his strong hand on my shoulder as he lightly shook it. Acting as if I was just awoken, I jerked up and flashed a groggy look at the seraphim who was leaning over.

"K-kratos. You're back," I declared softly, trying to sound tired but awake. I watched as Kratos lightly smiled, nothing hid this his depression now, for it wasn't there. His little, well long, walk he had taken must have done the trick. Thankfully.

"Little late to be saying good morning, but I'll say it anyhow," Kratos replied softly. Managing an embarrassed look his way, I shuffled my hands together nervously. Whatever was in that box seemed good, for it wasn't making Kratos melancholy.

"Are you feeling better now?..."

"Yes, thanks for asking."

"That's a relief," Sighing with relief that Kratos actually confirmed that he was ok, I glanced back over at him and the box. Whatever was inside there must be something good. But was was it. Crossing my arms, I starred at the seraphim.

"I assume you're wondering what's in the box?" Kratos asked placing a hand on the wrapped box. Ruby eyes darted from me and then rested upon the box. Nicely wrapped with a red ribbon, so carefully wrapped.

Nodding my head, I pondered for a few minutes. Think like Kratos. Just think like Kratos, what would Kratos get? To be honest I had not even the faintest clue on what Kratos had bought, but either way I was excited. Even if it was for me, seeing Kratos buy something was still a good sign.

"Here," Was all he said as he grabbed the box and passed it over to me. Shocked that the gift was for me, I felt a hot blush come on, so I quickly gritted my teeth and gave the smallest smile. taking it in my hands, I glanced down at it then Kratos.

Hell, I wanted Kratos more then the present at the current moment. Wanted him so much more. But maybe this was a two for one deal. Either way just to think I was actually getting a gift, a real gift, made me feel relaxed. I wasn't the type for people to give gifts to, for some reason. And I resented people for that, because _they_ resented me. But Kratos, did he defy all odds.

"What is it?" The question fled my lips as I starred at it. Quickly looking back up to Kratos, I noticed he had begun to get up, and within a few minutes he was sitting beside me, with a light smile. How cute.

"Just a little something. Nothing to fancy, I just thought..." Kratos broke off at that. Hearing no other words from Kratos, I glanced over and saw that he was embarrassed to talk about the gift.

"Whatever it is, getting it from you makes it good," I hummed more so to myself, but seeing Kratos was sitting beside me, he must have heard. His look changed from embarrassment to sheer happiness. The simplest things pleased him.

"Are, you sure?"

"Positive."

"A-alright, then open it"

Nodding, I looked down at the gift. Slipping a hand underneath the ribbon to unwrap it, I found my heart beating faster. What was there to be nervous about. Nothing. So I guessed I was just excited beyond belief.

Flipping open the lid, there sat a arrangement of flowers. Not the usual roses, or lilies that everyone else had. No, these were the common wildflowers. I thought for a moment as I starred at then. Confusion passed my lip but I was hushed internally by Kratos placing a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm not sure if you remember Yuan, but these are the flowers that used to grow everywhere before the Kharlan War and you used to seek everywhere the four of us went, in search of them for Martel," He whispered in my ear.

The memories of the flowers flooded back to me. I had truly forgotten, but it seemed like Kratos could never forget. Those memories, they were clouded, but the intentions of them was as clear as day. I loved her, and I loved him. The two most important people in my life.

"Kratos..."

"So after I returned to Cruxis, as strange as it may appear, I made it one of my goals to make sure those flowers never died out. Because of you Yuan. I'll never forget that flower you gave me all those years ago," His words were whispers in my ears.

Extending a hand, he held his diary, that diary I always seemed to ernest to read. As he opened it, it came to my understanding that the pages weren't blackened out, so whatever I read those months ago must have not been his diary, a decoy? Ignoring those thoughts, I watched as Kratos flipped open to the second to last page. There, pressed against the paper was a single mooncuped flower, although color faded, the memory still as vivid as ever.

"Kratos...I...don't know what to say," I was honestly lost for words. Never had anyone besides Martel ever cared so much about _me_. Trying to hold back tears, I looked set down the box on the bed, and looked over at Kratos, who seemed so, alive.

"Yuan, ever since that night in Meltokio, two months before Martel's death, I've cared for you. I always have, and I never found the courage until so many years afterward to tell you. I was... afraid of rejection, and afraid that you'd think I was a mockery of life. But that day by the river with you, it was one of the most relieving days of my life. Yuan, what I'm trying to say is, I've always loved you," He finished and looked downward.

My heart leaped a thousand feet in the air. He had loved me since that night at Meltokio. That night... and to think I never started to acquire feelings towards him until he saved me. But then again, did I have feelings for him before that? Or was that just gratitude or respect.

"Kratos, you're a miracle," Was all I could reply with a tear of joy rolled down the side of my face as I leaned against Kratos. I felt his arm wrap around the side of me and I felt his warm presence, the feeling that I was safe, and nothing could ever harm me. I felt at home.

"As you are mine," Everything felt right at that moment. Nothing could go wrong. Everything was going perfect, nothing could tear us apart, nothing could harm me. But oh so horribly wrong I was. So wrong indeed...

* * *

**Author's Note: **

ooh a cliffhanger! OH REALLY! Insight into the next chapter. Kutos to Andrea for the upcoming cliffhanger. I got the idea for the flowers because I remembered picking flowers with my best friend, so many years ago. Brandon... I still love you, so come back home. Come back home to Connecticut, I love you. So Please, come back home.


	15. Chapter 15: Shades Of Velvet

**Ok, chapter fifteen of Eternal Souls. Cliffhanger is revealed and erm, nothing much else happens. Maybe some shonen ai but nothing major other then the cliffhanger. And also, if you are reading any chapter, don't look at others reviews before you finish the newest chapter. They contain spoilers. Especially Rin's reviews (pokes her)**

**Warnings; Angst, Mild Violence (Whoah! New warning!) Mild Language, Some Shonen Ai, And possibly Suggestive **

**Themes.

* * *

**

**Chapter Fifteen:** Shades Of Velvet  
**Eternal Souls**

**

* * *

**

**I'm gonna do it darlin'  
I could waste time tryin' the figure it out  
But I'm jumpin' in anyhow  
I've never been this far  
Didn't know love could run so deep  
Didn't know I'd lose this much sleep **

Holdin' you close, chasin' that moon  
Spendin' all night  
Lovin' just who you are  
Sparks flyin' in the dark  
Shootin' out lights, huntin' down dreams  
Figurin' out what love really means  
Baby givin' you my heart  
Is a real fine place to start

Somethin' is goin' on  
I can't explain but sure can touch  
It's callin' both of us  
Stronger than any fear or doubt  
It's changin' everything I see  
It's changin' you, it's changin' me

* * *

"Is your stuff packed yet Yuan?" 

It had been three days on our vacation to the resort, and today was our return to our home. This vacation had been completely different then what I could have ever guessed. Yet still I felt stunned every time I told myself what happened.

"Yes, I'm ready," I replied stiffly grabbing my bag with a gentle tug.

I followed Kratos through the halls of the hotel, then down the elevator, and finally out into the bright sun. Squinting my eyes, trying to see where I was going, my only idea was to follow Kratos. Follow him and pray he could see and that he knew where he was going.

"You're still behind me, right?" Kratos asked, before turning around to make sure I was still following. Without speaking, I gave a tired nod and continued to follow the seraphim.

Honestly it felt like follow the leader. This city was so large, it was hard to know where you were at all times. So I put my trust in Kratos' directions.

"Finally, going back home," I sighed, as we continued our walk. Ever since Kratos' proposal, I had craved to go back home once more.

"Although the hotel was grand, I prefer the simple pleasures of home more," Kratos declared, looking over his shoulder back to me.

Tilting my head in agreeance, I gave a slight smile. No matter where we were, home was the one place you knew you could rely on. You could always go back there, and someone would be waiting with open arms. How I loved every bit of that.

"Yes," I replied, tightening my grip on my suitcase. After walking around for so long, you start to feel like your suitcase is getting heavier for no reason. Mental Anguish more than likely.

"I was wondering something Yuan," I heard Kratos inquire, still walking ahead of me. Feeling the need to talk to him, at least by his side, I quickened my pace so I was striding beside him.

"Wondering what?.." My voice trailed off.

"Wondering why you always wear that cape," Kratos smirked and glanced over to me. Flushing a deep red, I clenched my teeth tightly and thought for a few moments. Why did I always wear this foolish cape? Whatever reason I ever decided to wear it, it had to be good. At least I think.

"Not quite sure. What makes you ask something like that?" I questioned him. Usually I would snarl something like that to someone, but this was Kratos who we were talking about.

"Just always been curious. Nothing more, nothing less," Kratos concluded.

Riddles, Kratos always spoke in riddles. Never did he come out and say anything straight to my face. Usually he had nothing to say, but knowing he could actually talk to me was good. Glancing up at the road ahead, I finally noticed we had come to the end of the resort. Finally, I was starting to feel pale after all this walking in the direct sun.

"We're almost there," Kratos told me. I had eyes, I could see that for myself.

"I know," I replied sternly. Sighing, I glanced back at Kratos who's gaze was fixed on the path. Not me, or the scenery, just the path that would lead us home.

"Just making sure you aren't drifting off into other thoughts," Kratos replied casually. Thoughts? What was there to think about. Honestly.

"No, no I'm still here," I informed him as we walked out of the resort.

Fresh air had never tasted sweeter to be brutally honest. The air inside the crowded Altamria lacked that fresh zip to it. It's hard to explain, but you can just tell the difference. Looking over at Kratos who found the Rheiards easily, I followed him, still, and waited for further instructions, tiredly.

"Yuan, you look pale, are you alright?" I heard Kratos question. Slowly looking up at the seraphim, I gave a long-awaited nod and closed my eyes. Even though I gave him the idea I was alright, I really wasn't. I was starting to feel lightheaded, but I could shrug that off.

"Ok then," Kratos replied as he snapped our suitcases in the Rheairds and got on his. For some reason I didn't take the hint to get on mine. I just stood there, relaxing. It was a long minute before I snapped myself back to reality and jumped onto the Rheaird. Just jumping made the feeling come back, but worse.

Kratos started up his Rheaird and hovered in the air. Meekly, I flipped the on switch, or whatever switch was closest to me, and steered it up.

"Just follow me, Yuan. We'll be back shortly," I heard Kratos hum over the sound of the starting Rheairds. I didn't respond, but starred with an empty expression looming on my face.

Just that sensation of flying upward caused the feeling to become worse then it was before. Clenching my teeth tighter, I looked ahead to where Kratos was, everything seemed so far away, and blurry.

"K-kratos..." I began but found myself unable to speak.

Trying my best to not fall of the Rheaird, I grabbed the handles as tight as I could, to the point it was starting to hurt, and waited for Kratos to say, or do something. Do anything.

"Yuan?" I heard him ask. By now my eyes were tightly shut, and I was oblivious to the fact I was flying. That was the biggest mistake of my life. As quickly as I got into the air, I felt myself slipping off, somehow.

"Kr..!" I managed before what felt like being whacked upside the head with a heavy object multiple times. Everything went black, and pain began to surge through my weakened body. All I could do was lay there, or stand, I wasn't quite sure, and pray for the best. Even though I was starting to become less aware of things.

* * *

I concluded it was the next day before I had awoken. Cracking open an eye, I watched as the sun slowly rose into the sky, as it usually did. Glancing around to see where I was, I noticed I was laying on an outstretched blanket in a middle of a meadow. Yet I felt so at home in this area. 

"Kratos?" I called out.

Wrong thing to do. Pain immediately splurged through my head and I could only dig my nails into the ground to make the pain subdue. Blinking a few times, I attempted to open my eyes again to look around. Still no Kratos.

Not wanting to call out again, I just lied there. What had happened half a day or more ago? All I remembered was the feeling of emptiness and falling. Had Kratos saved me from impending doom? If he did, then we could finally call it even.

"Yuan, you're finally awake!" I heard Kratos, almost yell from wherever he was. My head thudded incredibly with every word he said. Glancing around, through the fierce pain, I noticed he had come out of the forest with a collection of firewood in his hands.

"Ke-kep your voice," I attempted but couldn't continue talking, before the pain became unbearable. Wincing, I felt Kratos kneel down beside me and place a hand on my shoulder.

"You had quite a fall," He whispered. Even the slightest whisper hurt like hell. Wincing more now, I managed to look up at Kratos' face with a disgusted and painful look on my face. I was hoping he had taken the hint.

"Oh right," He whispered placing a hand on my head and muttered a healing spell. Whatever it was, helped some. Not all, but it took the edge off the pain, somewhat.

"Now, are you ready to tell me what happened?" Kratos asked. Hearing his voice was no longer painful. But there was still a ringing in my ears and a weak and numb feeling. At least I could talk to him. At the very least.

"I'm not sure what did happen. Wait, you saved me?" I questioned, smiling at him. Kratos seemed stunned I was smiling at a time like this. He gave a stiff nod and seemed embarrassed.

"Sometimes it helps to have angelic powers," He praised himself, and before long he had begun to run a hand through my hair. It felt as good as it always did.

"I'm sorry I worried you," I spoke bitterly, still trying to figure out why I had overcome that sudden fatigue.

"No, don't be sorry. I'm just relieved you're alright," He spoke contently. Gaze flickering from ground to Kratos, I felt a small yawn approach me.

"You're still tired, correct?" I heard Kratos ask. Giving the smallest nod, trying to answer him and not interrupt his content strokes, I closed my eyes.

"Sorry..." I whispered back. I didn't want to fall back asleep, I wanted more answers. I wanted to know everything that had happened damnit.

"Yuan, there's no need to be sorry, now get some sleep. I'll be right here if you need me," I felt his warm breath on my neck. A grin rolled across my face before I fully relaxed and felt the blanket of slumber come across me. The pain still hurt incredibly, even with Kratos' healing arts. This would take awhile to heal, and I was afraid I'd be stuck in this meadow forever. But that didn't matter right now anyhow. And yet I wanted to know why I had became so lightheaded, never did that happen before. Maybe it was caused by _someone else_. Pushing aside any ideas, seeing it hurt to think, I cleared my mind. For some reason I concluded Kratos thought I was asleep, well I was almost, but I heard him say something silently. "Sleep tight, my angel, for sleeping might be the only place where you're free from the current crisis. But for now, sleep"

* * *

Author's Note: 

Yuan's got a slow recovery ahead of him. And the road to figure out who done it! Who tried to hurt Yuan x( Anyways, please review. Yes it was short and undetailed but I did this for a reason. This chapter is like one of those inbetween things that sets the stage for the next action chapters. This is like one of those. Yea, so please review. I'd make my day. Please and thanks!


	16. Chapter 16: Words and Reasons

**Lady Katra is pissed beyhond belief. No updates to fanfiction till a whole freaking week, my koura on neo was oddly changed from fire to yellow, might I add the fire paintbrush was a gift from my friend, and now I'm in a sour mood. Not good to be sour while writing, is it? I might do something rash, might not. All depends on my attitude right now. And seeing what it is at this current moment, I'm flipping mad beyhond belief. **

Nall: It's your own fault. And plus, don't you think that two things to make you mad, neo and fanfiction, they're telling you that hm, maybe you should finish Lunar 2 Eternal Blue!

Me: I dunno.. I already got to your sexy self, so theres no reason.

Nall: You haven't seen the tomato scene, or any other scenes involving me..

Me: Who's to say I WANT to.

Nall: You've been saying you wanted to for a year now.

Me: Well, I changed my mind!

Nall: Jeesh, mood swing USA. And it's not even the monthly boat rounds.

Me: Shut it, or die.

Nall: Your threatning me?

Me: Yea, I am. Get used to it!

Nall: Just get on with the story.

Me: Warnings;-

Nall: Everyone knows the warnings already!

Me: Ok, fine then. I shall start..

* * *

**Eternal Souls  
Chapter Sixteen:Words and Reasons

* * *

**

"Are you feeling any better Yuan?"

Raising my head from a well-deserved slumber, I noticed Kratos was sitting next to my sleeping body. Trying to keep my eyes open, I felt a surge of pain as his words echoed in my head. Gritting my teeth, pretending nothing was wrong, I looked back over at Kratos, and tried to smile, but it looked more like a plee for help.

"Does it look like it.." I managed, but then couldn't speak without the pulsing pain traveling from my head and down to my feet. Every word I had just spoken contiuned to echo throughout my head, and the pain kept growing stronger every second. Squinting my eyes agonizoly, I watched as Kratos' smile flickered to a unsettled look.

"No, it doesn't. I was just asking Yuan, and I wasn't looking for a sarcastic response. I know you're in pain, but I'm trying to help," Kratos retorted. Why did he have to use such long sentences! Every word he spoke felt like a needle through my head, and my vision became hazier everytime something made a sound.

Looking over at the seraphim, pleeing with my eyes for help, I tried not to speak. His expression remained firm, and he just sat there. What did he expect me to do? Get on my hands and knees and make him heal me? Clenching my fists so strongly that they began to bleed, trying to deal with the current pain, I contiuned to watch Kratos, praying he'd do something.

"Do you want my help?" Kratos suddenely asked. From the word 'do' to the word 'help' , I felt like a sword was slicing my me in half , slowly so the agony could contiune to build. Trying to look Kratos straight in the eyes, I attempted to ask him with my eyes, for speaking was out of the question.

The pain was immense, and if he didn't do something, fast, I could possibly fall over and faint right there. Faint for who knows how long. I watched as he smirked, then extended a hand and touched the middle of my forehead. Almost as if commanded, the pain dulled and I felt well enough to talk. But like before, my body was numb and useless from the earlier pain.

"Thank you..." I glanced down as I spoke those words. Fixing myself so I sat next to Kratos, I looked at my bleeding hands. Not from whatever was wrong with me, but I myself had caused the bleeding.

"Now tell me, do you know what's wrong with you?" Kratos asked curiously, as he took my hand in his and examined it. For some reason watching him look at my current status made me feel uncomfortable, or possibly ashmaed, and I turned my head away sharply. "Why are you bleeding?"

"Use your head would you? The pain was powerful I clenched my fists trying to deal with it," I mutterted, not looking him straight in the face. Almost in command, Kratos let go of my hand immedaitely. I didn't see his expression but I heard a displeased sound.

"Then the pain is worse then yesterday?" Kratos asked as I felt his hand grab my shoulder. Glancing over, I looked at his expression. It wasn't amused, or displeased, but concerned. I guess all his naive comments earlier were catching up on him.

"Correct," I responded, trying to look away from his eyes, but he kept a stern look at me, which seemed unbreakable. At first I thought he was going to give me a lecture about not flying when I wasn't feeling well enough, but he gently pulled me closer next to him.

"I'm sorry you're feeling so horrid, but please try to educate me on why you're like this," Kratos asked me as I was literally pulled to the side of him. Pausing for a moment to try to explain that I didn't know what was wrong with me, I came up empty. I couldn't just say I hadn't the faintest clue on what was wrong. At the very _least_ he'd think I was stupid, or uncapable or taking care of myself.

"I'm," I began but I stopped talking when I noticed the bleeding and pain in my hand had vanished. Eyeing my hand suspiously, I looked back up at Kratos who gave the dimmest smile towards me. "Thanks.."

"So, you don't know what caused you to loose control and fall of the Rheaird," Kratos asked, almost in a silent murmur. Slightly nodding my head, I rested my head on his stiff shoulder. His firm body seemed to relax as he felt me lean on him for support. "I'll try my best to find out what happened to you," He whispered.

"It shouldn't be your burden. I'll do it," I decarled firmly. At first I felt full of determination, but Kratos hused me internally by shaking me off his shoulder, and taking my hand in his. Looking to see what caused him to do this, I observed a caring look fill his face.

"Not with the way you've been acting. You'll need me to aid you, both mentally and physically," He advised, looking down at my hand with full focus.

Tilting my head, I sighed. It was true, I couldn't just go alone and leave Kratos to go back to the house. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't be able to relieve this unearthly pain I kept expreiencing. For once I needed Kratos.

"I guess I wasn't thinking," I spoke, in a grunt. Honestly, I didn't want to come out and tell him I was wrong and he was right. So I spoke lowly, hoping he wouldn't hear or understand me. But he did, and he released my hand and watched me.

"Yuan, I want to know what's wrong with you just as strongly as you do. I couldn't let you go out to find that answer in your current condition, now could I? No, so I'll be alongside you whether you like it or not," Kratos declared, with a gleaming smile.

"But how do we know _something_ caused this," I questioned uneasily. I didn't want him to exert enegry, time, or effort for something that was pointless. Maybe it was just me, or maybe I wasn't feeling well. But then again, we were angels and these type of things don't happenwithout a cause.

"Yuan, I know you yourself couldn't have done that. Some force did that to you," Kratos spoke taking my hand in his again. Sighing, I looked back over at Kratos' determined glance.

"But how do you-" I began but Kratos gave me a steady glance and murmured something under his breath.

"How? Because I know you too well," He declared with a soft smile and managed a softt chuckle. Tilting my head, I had to agree with him. He knew everything about me, and for some reason I didn't seemed worried about that at all.

"Right," I replied in a whisper.

"Now, believe me when I tell you it'll be ok. We'll find a way to destroy the pain you're feeling. Together," Kratos smiled and rubbed his left hand over mine.

I didn't know what to say to him. I knew he'd never leave my side, but now he was proving it. I always had to prove my loyality to him, when something happened to him, but now he had to protect me. The tables were turned, and he was right there for me.

"I believe you," I spoke under my breath. Just saying I believed him was something akward to say. But would we ever really be ok? So many things stood in our way of being together forever, and sooner or later we'd get tired of facing them. I wasn't ready to face all those evils, I just wanted to spend time with Kratos. More time then what we were lately.

"I'd give my life to protect you. I'm not sure if you understand that," Kratos asked all of sudden. Tilting my head in confusion, I wanted to tell him I felt the same but just hearing Kratos pledge loyality to me was so, fufilling. Was it enough to live? Was it enough to live? He saved my life from certain exile, and it was a love that ran soul deep. For eternity.

"Kratos, you know I understand that. If I didn't, do you think I'd be sitting hear with you if I didn't trust you?" I asked, questioning him. Kratos seemed stunned at my question, but then smiled.

"That's true. It's just sometimes I think what would happen to me if you ever left, and that is a horror to me, and sometimes I feel you don't know how much I care about you. You've been there for me everytime something happened to me, and nows my chance," He began. My heart seemed in complete shock. Of course I knew how much he cared about me, if he didn't then why would he have given me the ring that rested beside Martel's.

"Kratos, you don't have to worry about that. I swear, sometimes you worry to much and it's not good for your health," I yawned, hoping the pain would never come back.

"But you're worth it," Kratos replied quickly. Me? Worth loosing sleep over? That was an overstatment, I wasn't worth anything. "I just want to be with you every day and night, with no regrets."

"I'm not worth losing your sanity over," I murmured angirliy. Kratos was worth more then me, and to hear him say he'd risk his life for me disturbed me. I'd give anything just to live forever with Kratos with no perils, but that'd never happen.

"I'm not losing my sanity. In fact, you've kept me going," Kratos replied and let go of my hand and chuckled to himself. What did he find so many? Yet just seeing him laugh made myself crack up. Of course I covered it up with a sigh.

"You don't have to hide your emotions, i'm not going to judge you," He contiuned to laugh and rested his hands on his sheathed sword. It wasn't that I was worried about him judging me, I was worried about me judging myself. I always thought about everything I said, and sometimes I overthought everything.

"Anyways, how are we going to find out what's wrong with me Kratos? I'm sure whoever did it didn't leave a clearly marked trail," I answered, in alittle peeved voice. Looking back at Kratos who was staring up at the clouds, I felt like I just wanted to disappear.

"We'll find them, I promise you. No fears," He answered casually and crossed his arms, eyes still fixed on the sky.

"No fears? I have to be worried. This pain, I have no idea why it hurts so much, and what is being caused by. I'm not sure how longer I can handle waking up to such agony," I murmured, almost in a whisper to myself. It wasn't the right thing to say, after everything Kratos told me. I sat silently, and hoped he didn't hear me.

"Then I'll be by your side every morning to aid you before the pain and bother you," Kratos answered, almost in amusement. He took his eyes off the sky, and then fixed his ruby glance upon me.

"But that's just a nuisance to you," I replied bitterly, I didn't want Kratos to go through so much annoyance just because of me.

"You make sarifices for the ones you love," Kratos assured me. I didn't really believe what he was saying.

"Then I would assume you want to know how I was feeling before I fell?" I asked, trying to stop this conversation about sacrifices of Kratos. It was a futile effort, but I had to try.

"Precisely," Kratos responded interested.

"Like I said, I felt uneasy and weak. I just shrugged it off, but it all whelmed up like a blast of energy and I was knocked out," I spoke, trying to relive the pain of a few days ago. It hurt like hell, and even though it was days past the event, the pain was still as strong as ever. So now I needed Kratos more then ever.

"That's strange," Kratos spoke to himself.

"Any ideas?"

"None what so ever, I'm sorry."

"At this rate we'll never find out what's wrong with me," I complainied. What _was_ wrong with me.

"Don't be negative," Kratos laughed arising to his feet. Stunned, I stood up also and watched his gaze flicker from me then to the woods.

"I didn't see any other Rheairds near the resort. So our best bet would to search north of here to find the assasin," Kratos advised. Sighing I nodded and watched as Kratos walked straight ahead. So we were leaving our stuff here? And going off on foot? What was on his mind.

"So we're walking on foot?" I asked nervously. Would this pain suddenely come back? Then again, I would rather be on the ground then in the air.

"Exactly," Kratos replied, almost in a determined voice.

"How do we know they went North?" I asked, catching up to Kratos and strode alongside him. Tilting my head, I ran my hand over the ring on my hand for a few moments before looking back up at Kratos looking for an answer.

"Just an assumption," Kratos answered, and paused for a moment. He didn't look at me when he answered, just straight ahead at the dirt path that lie in the forest in front of us. For some reason my stomach started to lurch, I didn't like this idea at all.

"I have a bad feeling about this Kratos," I whispered. He didn't seem to hear me, seeing no reaction came from him. I myself paused for a few minutes, but thought better of it as we entered the forest.

"Why? We're both talented with weaponary, so we'll be fine," Kratos spoke in a strong voice. Just hearing him say that made me feel less sure of myself then ever. Was I really as good at him with a weapon. But then again... why was I even thinking that. I didn't need to worry about that. He was on my side, by my side, forever.

"Correction, you're the talented one," I spoke, with a silent snicker. Talented? Yes. Good with weapons? More then talented.

"As are you," Came the reply from Kratos. He still didn't look at me, and whatever glee that had just overcame me melted away. Was he mad at me? Or just set on our mission of finding out what was wrong with me. Hopefully the second option.

"I don't like this forest," I suddenely made known. The darkness loomed around us even though it was as bright as it could get outside of the forest. Guess the shading of the trees really made the difference. But the akwardness of this was what really was getting to bug me.

"Hmmm, why?" He asked, casually. I didn't really like that answer, but it was better then nothing.

"There's just, something about it," I noticed, looking around. My body was trembling as my eyes traveled over every object.

"I think you're just tired," Kratos reassured me. Words weren't as good as a look. But still. Yawning, I thought he was right. But in the back of my mind I knew he wasn't right.

"Kratos," I asked in the smallest voice. Still no tilting head, but Kratos' ears seemed to perk up.

"Yes?" He asnwered, not looking at me. Honestly, that was rude. True, we were walking in a forest, but at least the exchange of looks was needed.

"Promise me something," I dared. Something told me to ask that question. I didn't know what at that moment.

"Promise you what?" Kratos asked, finally looking over at me. He didn't seem concerned, but more stunned that I was demanding a promise at this moment.

"That when I'm around you, I'll always be safe," I murmured under my breath. No response came from the seraphim, which I found odd. Just complete silence, and my alerts had suddenely flipped up to high. Why wasn't he promising me I'd be safe. Did he know something. What was going on.

"Kratos. I know something is wrong," I snarled, trying to get out what was going on. And to top off my suspicousens, the pain was slowly starting to come back over me. Slow, but steady. Clenching my teeth, my voice changed from anger to plee. "It's.. coming back,"

"What's coming back?" Kratos asked, as clueless as ever. The pain was growing increasingly stronger, and I was starting to become numb. Stopping, I watched Kratos stop and turn around.

"The-pain..do something," I pleeded, crouching down and clenching my fists trying to dull the pain.

"Are you sure it's coming back already?" Kratos asked, un concerned.

"Kratos! H-elp," I demanded, as I began to tremble, slowly becoming faint.

"Yuan?" He asked slowly and beant down the side of me. For the first time, he was truly nervous, and I saw a tear flow down his face. Ignoring the pain, to the best of my efforts, I watched him.

"W-hy are you -crying," I managed and watched as he whipped the tear off his face. He was shaking like me and took his hand in mine and healed me slowly, enough so I could deal with the pain. That look in his eyes...

"Yuan," He spoke, wrapping his arms around me.

"What?" I asked startled. I felt his tears roll off his face and fall down upon me. What the hell was going on! Was I morphing into something! Kratos never cried, what was going on.

"I didn't want to tell you. But you deserve to know; she is your wife after all..." His voice quieted as he let go of me, stood up, and left back the way we came. My..wife? Surely he was confused, I watched him as he walked off.

"Kratos, where are you-" I began, shaking. He didn't turn back, and slowly disappeared from sight. My stomach lurched and I felt tears swell in my eyes. "Why are you.."

"Yuan? Is that really you?" A voice came from behind me. That voice, it couldn't be. Martel!

* * *

**Author's Note: **

Another Cliffhanger for all of you to chew on! Oh really! Is Martel back! and why did Kratos know before Yuan. Basically, Kratos lead Yuan into the forest to bring him to Martel. Poor Kratos, he feels rejected and lonely. Poor guy. Who will Yuan choose? Martel or Kratos? What a worthy choice for such a hottie!

Nall: For once you have a nice plot twist going. I myself have no clue what you are going to do next. Knowing you you'll make Yuan end up with Kratos. Which is wierd, anyway.

Me: But Yuan's fiance, well, OTHER fiance it back. I don't know what he'll do myself. I have to console my spiritual guides for the answer.

Nall: Spiritual what?

Me: The gods!

Nall: Gods of what?

me: Tukery!

Nall: Whatever. Please review, and make Katra shut up. I'm as interested as you to see what she's going to do. And that's a change.


	17. Chapter 17: Guidance

**Yes yes, I have this whole story planned out, so be warned. And let's just say It's going to be like, twenty four chapters. I'm not entirely sure, but it will take awhile for Yuan to grasp this new concept of having to pick between Martel and Kratos. Poor, poor Yuan. **

Warnings; Spoilers; Some Language,

* * *

_I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling  
And this is how you remind me  
This is how you remind me  
Of what I really am  
This is how you remind me  
Of what I really am _

It's not like you to say sorry  
I was waiting on a different story  
This time I'm mistaken  
for handing you a heart worth breaking  
and I've been wrong, i've been down,  
been to the bottom of every bottle  
these five words in my head  
scream "are we having fun yet?"

* * *

**Eternal Souls  
Chapter Seventeen: Guidance

* * *

**

"Martel? It's impossible, I-or we- killed you..." My voice softened as I looked downward. My last thought of Kratos passed out of my mind, and we replaced with a bitter confusion and the lost love I had for Martel. Surely I wasn't imanging everything, was I?

Raising my head once more, I glanced forward at her. She was as beautiful as ever, and that gleam in her emerald eyes was worth more then a thousand words. I wasn't expecting to be able to take my eyes off her, so the feeling of being frozen wasn't a surprise.

"I'm so glad to see you," She wrapped her arms around my numb body. Her warmth, her smell. Everything about her was coming back to me. She felt the same like she did oh so many years ago. Everything was the same about her, but I wished I could say the same about me.

"How, are you standing before me?" I asked nervously. She lightly let get of me and tilted her head. For some reason I was assuming she'd give a depressed look, but a flicker of her eyes and that smile proved me wrong.

"As you proabbly know, the Goddess is a fusion of all of Mithos' vessels, and fallen heroines. Not just souly me. And once a new Goddess if chosen to fufill the role, the old one is set free," Her voice quieted and she tilted her head as she looked at me. "I'm sorry, this proabbly sounds confusing to you. Or stupid."

"No not at all. I'm just... overwhelmed that I can actually see you again," My voice was cracking with every word I spoke. Gritting down on my teeth, I squinted my eyes, trying to hold back the tears of joy that were threating to stream down my face. Damn, I was strong, I had to make her believe I was as strong as I was four thousand years ago. Although that was unmistakebly wrong.

"It's ok. I'm not going anywhere. I'm real Yuan, I'm not an illusion," Almost in a whisper, her words wrapped around me, and then filled every woid of my thoughts. Anything I was trying to think about was destroyed and Martel consumed my thoughts. Every last thought.

Trying not to look overjoyed, I did the one thing anyone would have done in my position, I hugged her. For all those years apart, I held her. For all those nights I stayed up crying and pretended nothing was wrong, I ran a hand through her hair. I missed her, more then I could ever miss one person.

"Promise me. Promise me you won't leave me ever again. Please Martel," I kissed the top of her head and held her as tightly as I could. The feeling of being loved, by her, was something I had been craving for so long. Now I felt complete, souly complete.

"I promise Yuan. Relax, I'm here to stay," She gently pulled away and starred at me, contently. The next thing I did was look down at her hand. There sat the ring I had given her so many years ago. Just seeing it made my heart bolt up. Trying to stay calm, play it safe, I snickered casually.

"That's nice," I spoke. Nice! What was nice! What the hell just came out of my mouth. Not knowing myself, I concluded I was thinking about her never leaving again, her eyes, everything. But not coming to a full answer, I awaited her response. Heavens sake I knew it'd be a confused one.

"I haven't seen you in person for so long Yuan," She spoke smiling widely. All I could do was smile back. So she was glad to see me, what a relief that was.

"I never thought this moment would happen," I spoke, still in dis-belief. Maybe that was the wrong thing to say? Sighing, I looked back at her waiting for a response.

"Are you disappointed?" She asked nervously. Disappointed? Hell no. This truly was one of the best moments of my life. Grabbing her hand, I grinned.

"Of course it's not disappointing! Just, hearing your voice for real again, it's made my life," I spoke, as I felt her hand shake nervously in mine. Stunned, I held it tighter, more to reassure her. "Relax, Martel."

"This may sound, odd, but I've been wanting to hold you again for so long," Ah, just hearing that was a treat itself.

"Martel," Her name was all I could respond. I grinned, as stupid as it sounded, I _grinned_. This overwhelming glee was just too strong not to show.

"I'm glad you fought for my beliefs," She spoke softly. It was true, I did fight against Mithos' ideas, in honor of Martel. She didn't approve of anything her brother had done, and I knew that more then anyone. I knew her more then anyone in our group. Even more then herself at times.

"I had to," I spoke, giving a nodd.

"On another note, how's Kratos doing?"

Suddenely all the happiness I just built up was smashed into oblivion. My throat suddenely closed and I starred at her, with fear in my eyes. Without her knowing, I slipped his ring in my pocket, and glanced back at her. Nervous as I could ever be.

"K-kratos," My voice squeaked after the k. Internally punishing myself, I looked at her, scanning her for a reaction. Any reaction, anything. Just to get Kratos out of my mind.

"Yes, Kratos. The one who came here with," She said, with a smile. She was always smiling. Meaning everything she said, with a smile. Still holding my teeth tightly together, trying not to blurt out anything that may seem akward, I gave a shake.

"Oh, you mean Kratos. He's...good. Why do you ask?" If she couldn't tell I was lieing, or hiding something, she was desner then I thought she was. Kratos may have fallen for that line, but I knew Martel could never. And that's exactly what happened.

"Did something happen? Is he hurt?" She asked worridely. Hurt? What did she mean by that. Hurt physically, or hurt mentally. I knew she meant physically, but this sickening feeling inside me was making me hurt incredibly. He was proabbly feeling rejected, alone, and betrayed by someone yet again. Kratos..

"Nothing-happened Martel. And he's fine," I mutterted, shoving the ring farther in my pocket. Now both thoughts of Martel and Kratos were looming in my thoughts. This, choice, I couldn't understand what was going to happen next, and I felt depressed as hell.

"Yuan, please tell me what's wrong with Kratos. We all were friends, if you don't remember," She smiled kindly. Smiling, damn I wish I could do that right now. Of course this eternal strife was eating me inside. Sweating, I shifted positions uneasily.

"I don't think you'd understand," It wasn't intended as cruel, and I silently prayed she didn't take offense. Seeming shocked that I wouldn't tell her what was wrong, she extended a hand and clasped it together with mine. That hand that had Kratos ring in it's palm. This wasn't good. Not at all.

"I...can explain that," I stuttered at the words. Her eyes scanned it and a sudden knowledge filled her glance, and she looked up. I was expecting a disguisted look, or a feeling of confusion, but a flicker of kindness filled her look.

"No, there's no need to explain. I know the love you have for him," Her words were so pure, even at a time like this. Feeling akward, I took the ring back quickly, and shoved it in my pocket. I couldn't look her eye to eye after revealing something like this.

"You do?" I spoke in disbelief. Nodding her head, she gently leaned against me and whispered something in my ear.

"I understand. I know how you must be feeling right now. Go find Kratos and make sure he's alright. I'll be right here, waiting for your return," Her words toyed with me. Looking at her, almost stunned, I gave a stiff nodd.

"Right..." I simply spoke. This was going to be the hardest choice of my life. Talking to Kratos after learning Martel had come back. Leaning my head against her, I felt like crying. Crying out for help. "I promise I'll be back. I won't leave you," And for my sake, I wouldn't leave Kratos either. This was something I got myself into, and now I was going to have to find the answer, as painful as it may be.

* * *

**Author's Note: **

Short? Yes... the next chapter will be alittle lemony kratos/yuan and it is important to what's happening. Anyway, I promise to make the next chapter longer, and more detailed. I promise! So for now, please review.


	18. Chapter 18: Ruinos Lullabies

**Major writers block. Sorry this is so late! **

Here we go with the chapter, Kratos' Plee. I'm excited as you are! Like I said, this is chapter eighteen, so this chapter will run up to about twenty four chapters. I lost the sheet of paper that had all my plot twist and ending on. Darnit! But I'm still not sure I'm going to go by what I wrote, whatever. Let's just start before I start rambling on yet again.

* * *

Eternal Souls  
Chapter Eighteen; Ruinos Lullabies

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_Sometimes...  
What may be the best thing for you to do  
Sometimes it the hardest thing for you to do  
And that's real  
Cause I know that I love you  
I know how I feel about you  
But I also know that don't make everything alright  
And for that reason  
I gotta say goodbye _

Tell me have you ever been in a  
Situation where the best thing you could do  
Was the hardest thing you've ever done  
But you try to do what's right  
And I know that deep down inside  
That I really wanna be there by your side  
But I can't stand to see you cry  
Not when it's because of me

And it's over, I'll never love another  
I'm always thinking of her, I'm doing this becasue of her

Don't wanna say goodbye

* * *

_Go find Kratos and make sure he's alright _

Those words flashed in my mind as I walked down the dirt path back to the campsight. Every step consumed me ever lasting guilt that I had let Kratos down again. Martel was being pushed out of my mind for the moment, and all I could think about was what Kratos was doing. If he was, upset, depressed, or flustered. Either way, this was going to be a long dicussion between us. And the result I wasn't too sure of.

"I'm going to regret doing this, I just know it," I told myself, as I stepped across the dirt path, exiting the forest. The sun was setting, and for some reason that scene relaxed me. The first thought was Martel and I, but then Kratos and I replaced that thought. Holding my head with confusion, I knew I would be faced with a life changing decision. This wasn't happeneing, it just couldn't be. Was I dreaming? But till I awake, I had to figure this out.

"Kratos," I spoke, meekly, as I walked up on the campsite. The first thing I saw was a roaring fire, incresingly brighter by the second. At least he was here. That made my job easier at the least. Lowering myhead, I quickened my pace and walked up to the campsite and stood there.

There he was, sitting against a log, staring at the fire, with the most intense look I had ever seen in his eyes. Gulping down any pride I had up to this point, I walked closer and felt my palms begin to sweat. Just being near him made the feeling of love flood back to me. Too strong for my liking.

"Kratos, there you are," I spoke, almost in a declartion. I stood for a few seconds, but thought better of it, and sat down next to him. It was a long minute, which felt like forever, before I watched his body tense more, and he whirled around to me, with a stunned look on his face. Was he honestly expecting me to never speak to him again? He was mistaken.

"Yuan, what are you doing back here," He stuttered. The looming emotions of heart-break, and desire filled his garnet eyes. Just looking at those eyes made my heart melt. Know to think of a reply to his question.

"I wasn't just going to forget about you," I spoke, with a hint of a smile. Kratos immdeaitely gave one of the biggest smiles back at me, and that made my heart sink. Was I giving him the wrong idea? Looking down, trying to avoid his gaze, I thought to myself a way to explain my current issuse.

"I was dreading you'd never come back," He whispered, and I glanced up, only to find him beaming at me with the strongest look of love I ever saw on someone. And that hurt me worse. I wanted to be with him so damn bad, but Martel. I wanted to be with her just as bad.

"We need to talk," I managed. Usually when someone utterted the words 'we need to talk' always lead to bad news, and this wasn't any different. Gulping a few times, I took Kratos hand in mine and tried to find the words to tell him I loved him, but I had to make a choice. "I... am being faced with a increasingly difficult decision to make. I don't want to make it, and I'm not sure how to answer this choice. It's tearing me up inside, and I'm so confused," I felt tears of frustration form in my eyes as I explainied it to Kratos.

"I know you're heart is aching right now Yuan," Kratos whispered, letting go of my hand, and began to run a it through my hair. My determination melted, and I was endulged in Kratos. Everything about that seraphim, I had to be strong, but he was just so, amusing to watch, and feel.

"Thank you for understanding what I'm going through," I answered softly, making sure Kratos' expression of affection wasn't going to far. But I doubted I'd stop him, or myself if the passion grew to it's fullest. I was that desperate for Kratos, I hadn't had real time with him in months. And that was saying the least..

"Of course. Not understanding you after so many years would be a shame to myself," He spoke, in a sopshicated mannor. I couldn't help but smile, as much as it hurt to. I was lieing to him with that smile. Lieing.

"That's true," I concurred, trying to sound as kind-hearted as ever. I had to give Kratos sympathy. And I had to relieze he couldn't take another heart breake. Anna, his son, and me. I doubted he'd be able to live if it came down to that. I wasn't sure what he was going to do if I rejected him. Then again, would I reject him?

"Was she glad to see you?" Kratos asked, all of a sudden. Looking back at him, I nodded shortly. Since when did he care about me and Martel's affairs. Then again, it seemed he was the one that lead me to her. Without me knowing, and I had to be thankful.

"Yes, as I was to her," I replied, trying not to smile. I had to show Kratos I still cared about him. Loved? I was afraid to admit I still loved him. Just thinking about living without him made my stomach ache. No, I wouldn't make the choice. I couldn't.

"That's good to hear. You seem so much more care-free," Kratos noticed. Biting down on my bottom lip, I gave him a steady look. So he had noticed. Sighing, I opened my mouth to speak. But no words came out. I was speechless. It felt like hours before I found my voice to speak once more.

"You do too Kratos, why is that?" I asked. Ha, finally something to ask him. Maybe this would make my mind estray from the apending doom I had. Kratos seemed stuned I had picked up on that, and blushed lightly. Blushed? That wasn't as good as I always thought it was.

"I...just like to see you happy. You're rarely content, so anything that makes you happy, makes me happy in return," He spoke, looking away sharply. Kratos, he was so pure in thoughts. A light smile spread across my face and I felt numb, not from shock, but glee.

"Kratos," I spoke to myself. I didn't really think I had spoken aloud, but Kratos' glance over at me had shown I did. Trying not to blush, I attempted to puff out my cheeks and disguise it as a huge sigh. An idiotic sigh, but still a sigh.

"Yuan, all I ask is one thing," He began. I looked down, dreading what he was going to ask. As quickly as I looked down, Kratos lifted my head back up to look me straight in the eyes. Whatever he had to say was important, and I felt that in his eyes.

"Yes?" I dared. I couldn't promise something I didn't know. And maybe I shouldn't have asked what it was. I didn't want to float back to Kratos, and Martel. I had to make a choice, but for some reason I couldn't do that. Just something, was stopping me from doing that.

"I need you," His words were a whisper. And I barely could make that out. I wasn't entirely sure what 'need' he meant, so I kept silent, praying he would explain what need he was talking about.

"Need?" I spoke, after a few minutes of silence. Kratos nodded, and remained still. Damnit, why couldn't he explain what need he was talking about. Looking at him sternly, I felt myself beginning to shake. Damn nerves.

"Not just for petty pleasures, but physically. I don't think I would have lived through all the hurdles in my life without your guidiance, so I... beg of you Yuan, please don't make me experience the feeling of being alone, the feeling that you aren't with me," At first he was talking in a strong voice, but he suddenely quieted at the word beg, and I could have sworn he was fighting back tears. This made matters worse, my fears about Kratos were true.

"Kr-ratos. I can't promise you that, you know that better then anyone," I mutterted. He didn't seem shocked, he looked as if he knew that was going to be my response. Almost in a depressed nodd, he grabbed my hand tightly and closed his eyes.

"Yuan, don't go," He spoke, now pleeding. I felt light-headed and couldn't help but begin to shake even more. His hand in mine, even that pleased me. Pleased me too much. Trying to break his grasp, I found myself powerless against him.

"Kratos, I..." I began, but a tear streamed down the side of his face, his eyes still shut. I knew for fact that he didn't want to show me his desperation. My stomach sank as low as it could possibly could, I gulped. I didn't know what to do anymore. The choice was so obvious earlier, but now. Now I didn't know what I wanted.

"Don't," He begged. To hear Kratos beg or pleed, that told me something. He didn't open his eyes, but wrapped his arms tightly around me, as tears fell from his closed ruby eyes and landed on my stiffened shoulders. I couldn't breathe, this weakness I had for him.

"I, ha-ve," I began but was haulted by Kratos moaning something unintelligble to me in my ear. Shifting my head, I did the best thing I could at that moment, I ran my hand through his hair and whispered back. "I have too, but I don't want to. I don't know what I want Kratos. I want you, so much it hurts. How bad it hurts, I couldn't even explain how much I want you. But I need Martel, all these years I've been deprieved of her," My voice quieted as Kratos let go of me.

"I won't let you leave me. As vain as that sounds, don't leave me," He rasped and tears flowed from his eyes. I clenched my teeth. I couldn't stand the thought that I was the one that caused Kratos so much grief. I couldn't understand what I was doing to him.

"I," I began, but Kratos cut me off with a chaste kiss and whimpered softly at me.

"I won't beg you, it's your decision..."He spoke, almost disappointed. I didn't know what to do in response. My mind told me to get up and leave, but my heart, it got the best of me, and I grabbed Kratos tightly and held him close.

"You're making it even harder for me," I whispered in his ear. I wasn't sure if he heard me from his almost-silent whines. This wasn't like Kratos. I had to be strong. But I wasn't strong.

"Please, let me persuade you at the least," He stopped himself at those words, and look ashmad at what he was saying. Guilt washed over me and I found it harder to tell Kratos 'no'. Tell him all these years together would end up uselesss.

"I, can't let you-"I tried to tell him not to, but he cut me off with a hasty kiss to stop me from uttering the words of rejection. I wanted to break away, but I couldn't. I just couldn't get myself to stop. What really was casuing this so hard to break away was the fact Kratos had never kissed me so passionatley before. I knew he knew that everything rode on these few minutes. And he was making the best of it.

I was hoping he wouldn't go any further, but yet I yearned it. I yearned to feel his body against mine, but that was inpure. I had to go back to Martel, I couldn't leave her alone. But I couldn't leave Kratos either.

"Yuan, I'm only going to ask you this once. Do you wish me to go on? Or do you want me to stop. It's your choice, I understand either way..."He whispered softly. I wanted to scream contiune, I wanted to feel him, but that was just selfish greed.

"I want you to-" I began, but couldn't find the right words. I breathed hard I had to tell him these feelings. "I don't want to loose you," Was all I could muster.

"Yuan, If you let me, I can make it all right for you, just allow me that chance," Kratos pleeded. "I can't help but want you more then I want to." His words traveled in my mind, as he held his face inches for mine. Awaiting an answer. An answer I wasn't quite sure on how to give. Kratos was asking something I wanted for months now, but now I felt so compelled to tell him no.

"I'm afraid. Afraid that if I give you that chance, I might end up regretting it," It didn't come out right. What I had really meant to say was that I was afraid to take that chance, and I loved him too much to allow that to happen. But what I said, sounded so heartless.

"So you're saying..." Kratos whimpered, trying his hardest to remain firm. I had to stay stern, but his eyes, his pleeds, I had to answer them.

"I.. allow you that chance," I whispered in his ear. Did I just say that? It didn't come out, I swear it! But Kratos' eyes lite up unlike I had ever seen them. There was no turning back now, and this pit I had found myself in, it just became deeper and more complex. I was leading Kratos on, and was giving him false hope. And that killed me. I couldn't bear that thought, but I had already agreed.

"Thank you Yuan, I promise you that you'll find it worth you while," He whispered back, pushing the hair out of my face. Just hearing those words made everything alright. So unlike what was happening in my heart.

But those feelings fled as our lips met, and any insecruity I had falted. Of course, I knew it'd come back, but for now, now I was happy. Now everything was perfect. Now, I was with Kratos and he was fufilling my wishes. This moment wouldn't last all of an hour at the most. I had to go back to her, and pushing Kratos away would be the hardest thing in my life. I had to tell him I was leaving, and that I was finding harder to do every second.

Yet now, as we sat there, being caught up in each other's temptations I found it so hard to turn away. I never needed someone like I needed Kratos. I needed him to make me feel alive. And now to let go the one person who could make me feel that way. I had to tell Kratos good-bye. We were over, before it even started...

* * *

**Author's Note: **

THEN STAY WITH KRATOS, YUIE! Ok, I didn't actually put the lemon in here, but you know. Implied lemons, reign powerful. Oh god, what IS Yuan going to do? See, cliffhangers are lovely. They are like, so fin awesome. They make you want more!

Nall: I'm starting to think you're gonna make Yuan end up with Kratos.

Me: Maybe I will, maybe I won't. All depends on the way the dice roll. If you catch my drift. Hehehe.

Nall: No, I don't. Anyways, like Katra, attempted to say, the only way to find out what Yuan's choice is to review. If I was faced with a choice between some guy and you, Katra, I'd choose the guy.

me: what if the guy was like.. I dunno, Drew Carey?

nall: Ok, that's an exception.

Me: Dr. Phil?

Nall: ENOUGH WITH THE EXCEPTIONS! I WAS TRYING TO MAKE A POINT!

Me: Caps... you evil kitty! (chucks a kratos action figure at him) Fear his sexiness!

Nall: O.o I'm not gay.

Me: I can MAKE you gay if I wanted to. I could make a Lunar, Tales crossover and make you gay with Kratos, or Yuan. How does that sound!

Nall: Just shoot me.

Me: Ok! (takes out a huge shotgun)

Nall: NOT LITERALLY!

Me: Review please!


	19. Chapter 19: Tainted Love

Ok everyone, this is the chapter that Yuan will make his decision about who's he is going to end up with. Exciting, no? Yea. And this will look back at the implied lemon from the last chapter, so yea. Mhm. And by the way, Yuan will make his choice at the end of this chapter. Kratos has one more surprise for Yuan before he makes his life changing choice. What's this surprise? You'll just have to read to find out. And yes, I fianlly found the paper that has all my plot twists, and now I can finally write an ending, yes it runs to Chapter Twenty Four, just as I thought. YaY!

* * *

**Eternal Souls  
Chapter Nineteen: Tainted Love

* * *

**

"Yuan?" 

I awoke to a prodding at my foot. Slightly cracking my eyes, I noticed it was early evening, and the sun was completely gone from site. Stars flickered in the sky, and all I could do was smile at them from my earlier actives. Raising my head, hoping the pain wouldn't come back until everything was said and done, I glanced around.

I was already back into my regular clothes, but my hair was a complete mess and I felt groggy as hell. This choice was just becoming harder by the second, especially seeing Kratos had put his heart on the line only hours before. Sighing, I ran a hand through the aqua strands of hair and only looked at the roaring fire, hoping Kratos was somewhere near by.

"You're awake, that's good," Kratos spoke, coming out of literally no where, and sat down next to me. I wasn't too surprised that he was here, so I gave a weak smile. This pain was a lot like the unknown pain, but the one thing that set this one apart from the other was the inner pride, and love. I liked this sort of pain, as naive as that sounds.

"Yes, just a little groggy, but awake," I yawned, taking my hand away from my hair and just starred at Kratos. His eyes were lite up like before, and he seemed like he was glowing, yes glowing, as he looked at me. He extended his left hand as he sat down next to me. Carefully, I took whatever was in his hand in suspicion. "What's this?"

"Something I," Kratos began but quickly turned away. Sharply looking back over at him, I noticed that he was blushing, and was hiding it. A smirk covered my face as I looked down at the object, and opened my clasped hand. There sat a carved ruby. Not just anything was carved, but carved from that ruby was a heart. My stomach felt sick, but at the same time, filled with glee. "made for you," He finished.

"You, made this?" I stuttered. Oh dear heavens, as hard as I tried, I couldn't escape his love. Running a hand over the smooth surface, I turned to face Kratos, who was still beating a dark garnet.

"Y-yes, does it displease you?" He asked nervously, trying not to look me straight in the eye. How could it displease me, this was something from his heart, something I couldn't easily throw away. Kratos; I meant everything to him didn't I? But the garnet heart was a little, odd, for a gift, but then again, the mooncuped flowers were odd too. But each gift had meaning, and I couldn't deny that. Lowering my head, I tried to hold back any wandering emotions, and turned my head back to him. I would allow Kratos a little while longer until I returned to Martel with Kratos to make my choice. It would be the least I could do for him.

"No, not at all," I replied, cooly. I couldn't say I loved it, and I couldn't say I loved him at a time like this. Yes, I did love him, but that would show him I was going to stay with him, and at this moment I wasn't too sure who I was going to pick. Such a hard choice.

"Very well. Also, let me see your hand," Kratos asked politely, looking at me intently now. Sighing, I extended my other hand and felt Kratos lightly grab it. At first I wasn't too sure what he was going to do, but the sensation of the pain fading away filled me.

"Thank you," I replied in a whisper. He let go of my hand and just smiled at me. At this moment I felt like crying. Felt like telling him how much I was hurting inside, felt like telling him I didn't want to loose him. But I had to be strong.

"Yuan, I need to tell you something," Kratos suddenly asked. His voice snapped me out of the vortex of confusion I was in. Raising my head to look him straight in the face, guilt overcame me once more. Why couldn't I just be carefree around him, was it that hard?

"What is it?" I asked nervously, biting down on my lower lip, trying to stay calm. I didn't want to know what was on Kratos' mind. I didn't want to promise him I'd stay with him forever, and I didn't want to promise Martel I'd stay with her either. Right now, right now I just wanted to be alone.

"I..." His voice quavered, as if what he was going to say was hard to get out. Taking his hand, reassuringly, I could only smile lightly. I wanted to know what was bothering him. More then anything.

"You what?" Questioning him was also difficult.

"I honestly still love you, and that won't ever change" He turned away, and I could have sworn tears fell from his face.

He still loved me. After seeing Martel come back, he still loved me. After all that was threatning to happen, he still loved me. And at this moment I wasn't sure how to reply to Kratos. I couldn't just say I loved him back. But I did love him back, and I found myself saying it.

"Kratos," I pulled him closer, wrapped my arms around him, and beant my mouth near his ear. "I love you too," I had said it, against my will. I was leading him on, giving him false hope. How much he had given me throughout these thousand of years. I didn't want it to go away.

"Then promise me you won't leave me. I'm sure Martel would understand," He quieted his voice and went silent. "I'm sorry, that just sounded cruel," My heart sank as he begged me to stay with him. He wanted me to promise him something I wasn't capable of.

"It's getting late Kratos, let's head back to the forest," I whispered, unsure what to do next. Kratos lightly shook his head and stood up alongside me.

We slowly made our way back to the spot Martel was waiting at. Hand it pocket, I clasped the ruby Kratos had given me tightly. This was going to be the hardest thing of my life. I loved Martel, I really did. Yet I loved Kratos almost as much. And to say good bye to someone you love, it was the hardest thing to do. No words could explain what I felt like.

"Yuan-" Kratos began but he fell silent as I gazed ahead and saw Martel sitting on a stump, panpipe in hand. Any thing I wanted to say to both Kratos and Martel had vanished. Now I was left powerless. Stuck between two people I loved more then anything. I didn't want this moment to come.

"You're back," She spoke smiling. Her gaze was filled with eternal happiness, and she titled her head and smiled at Kratos the same way. How carefree and understanding she was towards everything. But I knew Kratos wasn't. I glanced over at him, and his body was tense, that stare in his eyes, he looked paralized with fear.

"Yes," I mutterted, walking in between Kratos and Martel. At first I thought like I was going to be the one calling the shots and talking, but Kratos lightly pushed me to the side and walked over to Martel. My stomach sank worse, as I watched Kratos approach Martel. What was going to happen.

"Martel, may I request something of you," He asked, obviously hiding back his mental anguish and fear. Sighing, I could only listen to what was going to happen.

"Of course, Kratos," She spoke with a smile. I'm sure that smile wasn't what Kratos wanted, and a frown appeared on his face. Lowering his head, He mutterted something, then spoke louder.

"Please take care of Yuan," Was all he said before turning back to me, and began to walk past me. My reflex got the best of me and I grabbed Kratos by the arm. Whirling around, he starred me in the eye, unsure what I was going to say.

"No... stay here," I warned. I assumed my eyes told him everything, as he nodded and just remained still.

"Yuan's right Kratos, I'm sure you're interested in what he has to say," Her smile was making Kratos feel worse, I just knew it. Damnit. I felt Kratos grab my hand without knowing it. Sighing, I could only allow this action.

"Then go ahead," He whispered in my ear. He wasn't nervous, but just tense beyhond belief. Casting a glance to Martel then to Kratos, my heart sank. This wasn't happening. It couldn't be. Gulping down any pride I had left, I cleared my voice.

"I didn't want this moment to happen. But it seems it has come. At first I was so sure of my choice, but then after being with both of you, my choice flipped back and forth, confusing me to death. And now, now I think I know the choice," My voice was cracking as I starred at Martel deeply, then back at Kratos.

"Take a deep breath Yuan." Martel chimed from where she was sitting. Lightly nodding, I smiled then looked back at Kratos and slightly frowned. He was shaking now, and he let go of my hand almost as if he was dreading my answer.

"Get it over with," Kratos spoke, knowing what I was going to say. Nodding in an unsure mannor, I cleared my voice and stutterted at the right words. I walked over to Martel and kissed her lightly.

"You know how much I love you," I spoke with a smile. She smiled back but my smile faltered and I could only feel guilt knowing I had much more to say. She wrapped her arms around me tightly, but I broke away and bit down on my lip.

"But after all these years apart, I've wanted you to come back, to hold you again, and that has finally happened," I contiuned. She was still smiling, and I didn't dare to turn back to Kratos at this moment.

"Yes," She replied with a smile.

"And I thought if this moment ever happened, I wouldn't hesitate. But, all these years being apart from you have changed my mind. I-i'm sorry Martel," It was said and I could only feel like I was crushing her into pieces. But for some reason her smile didn't disappear.

"I knew that about you when I first saw you again. I knew I couldn't hold onto our love for thousands of years and expect everything to be the same if I ever did come back," She whispered. So she wasn't displeased in me! My stomach seemed much more revieled.

"Thank you Martel, and you know you can come live with me and Kratos," I whispered in her ear. I was expecting a joyous response, but that didn't happen. She shook her head and whispered back.

"Thank you Yuan, after everything I've put you through all these years, you still have the same forgiveness. I'll keep your offer in mind," She lightly raised her hand and felt the side of my face and contiuned. "And I want you to be happy,"

"I-i wasn't expecting you to say that," I replied, shocked from her reply. She nodded then whispered back.

"Go talk to Kratos, I don't think he knows what's going on," She commanded. I nodded, and turned around, to see Kratos, sitting on the ground, trying to hold back tears. So he thought I was leaving him? Well that wasn't happeneing. Walking over to him, I sat down.

"So this good-bye, isn't it Yuan," He managed, holding back any tears. Just starring at those eyes made me feel horrible, but I had no reason to. I wasn't letting him down. I could only smile at him.

"Goodbye? Is that what you think I'm going to say Kratos? After all these years?" My voice was strong. I thought Kratos was going to take the hint, but he didn't. He clenched his teeth tightly, as if he thought I was still saying goodbye.

"That's right, there's no words to be said. Thank you for helping me all these years," He said, standing up and beginning to walk away. Tears streamed down the side of his face. Quickly, I grabbed him by the shoulder and watched him whirl around. "What?" He spoke bitterly, trying not to hide how much he was hurting. I just knew it.

"Kratos, I'm not saying goodbye. I'm not leaving you," I whispered as I wrapped my arms around him limp body. He seemed stunned at first, but then what I had just said registered in his head. His arms found themselves around me and his tears found their way to my neck.

"You aren't leaving?" He spoke in disbelief breaking away a inch to look my straight in the face. A smile crossed my face once more.

"No, I'm not. I'm staying with you for eternity, like it or not," I spoke, trying not to break down either. His eyes contained that care-free look I desired him to have.

"Thank you Yuan," He kissed me quickly, as our tongues played there usual games, and rested his head on my shoulder. "Thank you..."

* * *

**Author's Note: **

Stunning choice? Of course it is! Especially seeing he went up to Martel first. yay for kratos/yuan pairing! Yes there will be a few more chapters as promised. Mostly about Martel, Kratos, And Yuan such and such. So don't think it's over yet. Five or four more chapters of goodness to come!

nall: I KNEW YOU'D MAKE YUAN CHOOSE KRATOS!

Me: I thought you were just joking, lol. And did you know nall, there are no lemons involing you?

Nall: W-ha!

Me: Dead serious buddy, no one wrote about your little 'love affairs'.

Nall: That's good, you idiot.

Me: But i was excited to read about your love life (winks eviliy)

Nall: O.o, back to the AN, I didn't really think you'd make Yuan choose Martel after all the years the two spent apart. But anyway, what are you planning for the next chapters? I'm actually curious.

Me; The cure to Yuan's curse of whatever the illness he has. And Martel coming to live with Kratos and Yuan as friends or whatever. But alittle more inresting twists to end this story on a good note. So ha ha ha!


	20. Chapter 20: Far Away

This chapter ought to wrap things up for this story. Sorry I've had writers block for so long. I've been busy with friends, and plans to get the guy I'm crushing on to like me. Anyways, this Chapter is dedicated to you alan, I like you so much, andthanks for the movie trip! Love ya

And for my readers who haven't lost faith in me, I love you all. Happy Reading.

Warnings: Yaoi, Spoilers, The Usual Stuff

* * *

Eternal Souls  
Chapter Twenty: Far Away

"It's dawn, time to depart."

Cracking open an eyelid, the usual greeting of intense beams of suns greeted me. Although it was first thing in the morning, the beams were as strong as ever. Daring to lift my head from it's resting place, I opened my other eye and glanced over at Kratos who was a distance away looking up at the sky as if calculating something. Groaning, I pushed the soft fleece of my tangled cape and just laid there, staring up at the sky. This was a rare event, well for me. Usually whenever I gazed up at the sky, it was a sea blue. Yet at this time of day, it was a scotching fiery red with waves of orange. Sighing, I ran a hand through my some-what matted hair, and rose to my feet.

You could say the lack of sleep I had the night before effected my performance today, but that wouldn't be the whole truth. As quickly as I had arose, I stumbled back onto one knee in an abundant amount of pain. Squinting, I looked over at Kratos weakly. Almost as if he had a sixth sense, the mercenary turned sharply and looked at me. Raising in eyebrow under his thick auburn bangs, he walked over to me and kneeled over.

"I see you're still in a world of pain. That's not the best thing for us right now," He mumbled, extending a hand to heal the pain that was traveling rapidly over my limp body. Glancing up at him and I muttered.

"This kind of pain is never good..." Stiffly, I stood up and brushed off the gathering dirt on my cape. Whatever kind of healing arts Kratos possed, they really were affective. Daring a look back up at my savior, I managed the weakest smile. "But anyways, you said we were leaving. Where to? And shouldn't Martel be alerted of this also?" I began, becoming increasingly worried.

At first, Kratos seemed stunned by my sudden interest, but the usual stern look overcame his face and he placed a hand on my shoulder, reassuringly.

"Relax Yuan. You yourself should be aware that she's remaining in these forests as a guardian to all creatures," Kratos began, at frst strongly, but then changing to a curious tone. I glared at Kratos, and shook off his hand.

"She- never told me that! And that's just insane. Living in these woods!" Becoming flustered, I began to pace around the camp, gathering the objects that lay on the ground in a frantic rant. It took a few moments for Kratos to say anything. Instead, he just gave me a peculiar look and began stepping closer.

"Yuan," He began as he approached me, and I darted to the left and picked up a lamp. Uneasily, Kratos followed me and continued to attempt to talk to me. I wanted none of the sort. Sure I had chosen Kratos, but to leave Martel, defenseless in a forest was insane!

"Would you stop for two seconds and enlighten me on what you are planning to do?" Kratos asked, now sitting down on the same log I had slept on earlier. Pausing, I turned around and looked over at the mercenary. His eyes were filled with worry and concern, unlike what they lately had been.

"There's no time to wait, god damnit! Whatever that has been pursuing me and gave me this incurable curse is probably plotting it's next move! And you tell me to wait!" Glaring angrily at Kratos, I went back to collecting all the items on the ground and shoving them in the pack that had been laid open earlier.

Kratos stood up, and walked over to me once more. His sturdy hand once again reached for my shoulder. This time, however, I turned around sharply and stared him straight in the eye.

"No, I know what you're going to say," Hissing, I remained still, watching for a return reaction from Kratos.

"Yuan, It's not healthy for you to be so overworked. I haven't seen you this flustered since, well since ever. Now please, take a breath. You'll be fine," Kratos spoke softly. It was unusual to hear Kratos speak in such a relaxed tone, but I couldn't take advantage of this seeing my mind was on other things.

"I won't be fine Kratos.. you don't understand what's happening," I whispered, trying to avoid eye contact.

"What?" Kratos took his hand back, stunned. Tilting his head, he gently reached out and lifted my chin up so I was staring into his eyes. "Tell me what's going on with you."

"I can't," I murmured, closing my eyes.

"Open your eyes, Yuan." He demanded, cracking open my right eye, I tried to act like I was listening. "When have I ever not been here for you when you needed me?" Kratos asked, with a gentle smile.

"Far too many to count," I whispered to myself.

"Stop with the attitude. I'm worried about you, and this dancing around the subject is really starting to get me pissed, so would you please start talking!" Kratos yelled, grabbing both my shoulders and shaking me. Stunned, I was lost for words. Just to make Kratos enraged.. it wasn't what I was looking to accomplish.

"I can't tell you, I've kept my plans and actions secret for all these thousands of years, even when you were sick, even when you left me. And I'm not about to tell you now," Remaining firm, I starred back at him.

"How can you say that?" Kratos asked meekly.

"Listen to me Kratos, I don't want you to suffer from knowing these things," I replied disdainfully.

"Well, whatever it is, it hasn't been bothering you for the past years. Why now? What in the name of Martel has gotten you so upset?" Kratos interrogated.

"Please, don't do this to me. I want you to forget I even said anything," I whispered uneasily. At first I didn't know what to expect after saying that. Slowly, Kratos wrapped his arms warmly around me, in attempts to comfort. But the thing was, at a time like this, I couldn't be comforted. I just wanted to be alone. But Kratos was persistent, and he would probably drag himself into my problems whether I liked it or not.

Oddly, I broke away from his warm embrace. How could or love be a good thing when he had no clue what I was going through. _Get a grip.._ I keep telling myself. The thing is, I'm not the same person I was when this journey began. This... curse is weakening me, and fogging my judgment. Somehow I'll have to push through this.

"Am I just imagining things, or did you just push me away?.." Kratos paused, and his eyes seemed shocked and hurt beyond on belief.

"Kratos.. You don't know me," I began.

"Well, that's absurd. We've been together for four thousand years, and you claim I don't _know_ you?" Kratos bit down on his bottom lip. From my observations, he was piercing the skin, and a drop of blood fell from what I used to call 'my heaven'.

"Just please, I don't want to hurt you anymore. You don't want to know who I am and what I have done. So please, let's go back to things before all this hell. Damn, I just want us to be together," I stuttered along. Slightly nodding his head, Kratos smiled.

"I think your delusional from your curse, but that's alright. I don't care, you're still you," Kratos beamed at me. I just starred at him, maybe I could save that smile, just possibly.

"You said you'd do anything for me, correct?" I continued.

"You know the answer to that," A flicker of amusement crossed his eyes. Perhaps he thought I was leading on to something better, but I wasn't.

"Then do this for me. If it ever comes down to it, don't save me," Sighing, I sat down on the log and looked at the dieing fire.

"What the hell are you going on about, Yuan! If you don't shut up about this random shit, I'll be forced to persuade you otherwise," He yelled at first, then grinned mischievously.

"If only it was that simple."

"Stop it. Dammit. Just stop, you're not going to die, and you're not going to leave my side, so stop," He grabbed my firmly and buried his head into my chest. His body was shaking. I bothered him about this issue, something I didn't want to. He didn't believe me, my true lover didn't trust me anymore.

"Do you wish to know the truth?" It was the least I could do. He seemed so keen on my 'curse', and this whole 'other identity' ordeal.

"More then ever," He glanced back up into my gaze, almost shaking.

"I'm not who you think I am, Kratos. Yes, I am Yuan. But... I've been lieing to you since the beginning. Kratos, I was the assassin who killed your son, Lloyd."

* * *

Author's Note:

DUN... DUN DUN! CLIFFHANGER! THE WORST KIND

nall: You do relieze this is going to change all the good kratos/yuan fluff.

me: yes but.. it's a cliffhanger. That will lead up the last few chapters. If you want more details about how Lloyd's death is still affecting Yuan, and why he is sick, you'll find out in the next chapter. And yes, if you're still kratos/yuan fluff-obessed, you'll see flashbacks of good ole kratos/yuan goodness. And about Martel situation? That will also be explainied and why Yuan seemed so anxious at the beginning of the chapter.

Until then, happy viewing ;)


	21. Chapter 21: A Look Into The Past

This chapter is basically a flashback. I decided to do this chapter a flashback after several emails asking about that 'night in meltokio' I reffered to multiple times in this story. The night were supposedely Yuan and Kratos reliezed they were more then friends, but decided to ignore the feeling between them and contiune with the Kharlan War. I hope this chapter will enlighten you all. And as an additonal bonus, you'll have some light kratos/yuan and some fluff. Anyways, I hope you like this chapter (and I'm sorry I am not shedding light on Kratos' reaction to learning Yuan killed his son. I know, I'm evil!)

Warnings; Spoilers, Language, Some Violence, Suggestive Themes

Eternal Soouls  
Chapter Twenty-One: Emotionless  
Flashback chapter O.o

"If you thought that was good, check this out."

It was a late night in the region of Meltokio. We had camped outside the imperial city in hoeps of rebellion. Knowing how dangerous this mission really was, we all pledged to stay up all night in shifts. But the unexpected wave of snow penetrating the usual tropic region caused even more difficulties. The temperature had shot down dangerously and the only way to keep our minds off the blazing cold was to talk and engage in other things then just sitting there hopelessly.

Currently, myself, Kratos, and Martel were up. Mithos had dozed lightly into slumber, with all the blankets wrapped tightly around himself. I myself was showing Martel the newest moves I was trying out to vanquish enemies quicker. Sure, I was a little 'sure of myself' but she was the best thing to had ever come into my life. And our secret engagement was another thing to by joyous about. Of course, Mithos would never learn of this, hopefully. I knew how much he resented us being together.

A smile flickered across her delicate frost-bitten face. Bright emerald eyes filled with such joy at such a perilous time. Grinning, I swished the blade through the air and mistakably hit a log on my side splitting it in half. This must have caught Kratos' attention because the next thing I remember is a growl escaping his throat as he stood up from his resting spot with his protozoan. Lowly, I prepared myself for the speech I would soon be getting from him about proper weaponry.

"How many times do I have to tell you-!" Kratos began but his sharp garnet eyes caught the sarcasm in my eyes. Another mumble escaped his throat as he sheathed his dangerously sharp sword and watched me then looked to the side to see Martel watching us with a light smile. I glanced up at Kratos who had the unamused look upon his face. What was with this guy? Nothing seemed to brighten his spirits. Nothing. Zip. Nada.

"I know. Martel, you look tired, you should get some sleep," I spoke caringly, ignoring Kratos who was just standing there. Extending my hand, I took hers in mine and smiled lightly. "Sweet dreams, everything will be fine." I spoke. Her emerald eyes sleepily hung open as she nodded and crossed her arms.

"I-.. I'm not tired!" She retorted, as she yawned in between her protest. I was about to grin and laugh at her persistence but of course, Kratos jumped in and added in his comments. Such an annoyance at times.

"Yuan is right. Who knows what perils we will be faced with in the upcoming dreams. A warrior such as yourself needs her sleep," He watched as she nodded once more and turned to me with the faintest look of care upon her dreams.

"Fine.. but if you two pull anything stupid I'll have your heads," She smiled jokingly as she stood up and walked over to where her brother slept. Slowly, she sat down and cuddled up beside him. The flickers of the fire seemed duller once Martel had fallen asleep. Whirling around, I looked at Kratos who was grinning proudly to himself.

"What's with you..." I mumbled. Kratos tilted his head and ran a hair through his tangled auburn hair innocently.

"I'm not quite sure what you mean, Yuan." Kratos spoke, trying not to snicker from amusement. A sigh escaped my lips as I glared at the flame. She did tell me not to do anything stupid, but come on! Spending my last waking hours with someone you couldn't converse with would be _stupid_. So the non 'stupid' thing to do would to be get out and have some air. Right?

"I'm going out," I declared, pushing aside Kratos and taking a few steps out of camp. I was expecting a return speech from the mercenary but all I heard was a satisfactory 'mhm' come from him. Squinting my eyes, I mumbled to myself. "Fine, don't care." And with that I made my way out of the camp into the snowy tundra that lay before me.

Honestly, I was a real nature lover, but I'd never admit to it. Martel had shown me the wonders of the world through this journey, and it really opened up my eyes. Just to know that beauty lived everywhere, other than with Martel, was quite amazing.

Maybe it had been a few hours since I left Kratos, but who was counting. The tundra seemed endless, and the temperature seemed to be dropping every second. I wasn't expecting such harsh climates. Both my hands were becoming frost bit, and the tender skin upon my face was bright red. Weakly, I turned around and starred at where I came from. Endless plains for miles. Then I reliezed. I wasn't going to make it back, was I?

"Shit.." I groaned and sat down in the heavy blanket of snow underneath me. Now I understood what Martel meant by 'not doing anything stupid'. Snowflakes continued to fall upon my head as my first real 'shiver' ran down my spine. Clenching my teeth tightly, I calculated a plan. But the minute I thought I had devised a good one, feeling in my left leg went out. All that replaced it was a cold and numb feeling of emptiness.

"Yuan?" I rose my head and starred at the blizzard around me. Barely, I found myself able to speak.

"H-e...lp me," I whispered into the roaring wind.

"Where are you, dammit." The voice ran out strongly in the storm, but my conscience was slowly fading by the second.

"Ov...er here," I managed as my body lost all feeling and collapsed. Slowly, my eyelids snapped shit and I was left there helpless.

I awoke to a warm blanket wrapped around my body. The adjective 'fuzzy' flashed through my hand as I ran my stinging hands through the fuzzy texture. This wasn't real. When did we have a fuzzy blanket? Opening my eyes widely, I was starring at the wood panels above my head. Turning my head to the right, I saw a roaring fireplace next to a window showing the increasingly strong storm outside. My stomach sank and I sharply turned my head to the left and saw Kratos a few feet away in a chair reading something. No possible way.

"Where.. am I?" I asked out numbly. Raising his auburn head, Kratos looked over at me caringly. A slight flicker of amusement passed his face as he stood up and walked over to the bed. "You.. don't have to come that close," I muttered as he bent on the side of the bed.

"Next time you'll stay," For once a smile crossed his face as he extended a mug of what looked like tea. Or possibly something else. Steam arose from it, and I quickly grabbed it and took a large drink. My eyes watched the mercenary's gaze.

"Kratos, you saved me?" I spoke in dis-belief as I set down the mug on the table next to me. A nod was given as a response. He extended his hand and helped me sit up straight in the bed.

"Correct. It was very naive of you to leave, but I wasn't going to fight with you," He murmured as I ran a hand through my damp azul hair. Sighing, I could only nod and agree of how stupid I had acted. Guilt filled my stomach and I suddenly became tense and rolled out of the bed, damp clothes clinging to my body.

"Where's Martel! You didn't leave her out there did you!" I demanded, grabbing Kratos by the collar. He didn't seemed alarmed, but he rose his hand gently and removed my hand from his shirt.

"Martel and Mithos are in the next room. They decided it'd be best to check in here for the night and wait for the storm to pass," He watched as I took a deep breath and nod.

"Alright," I looked downward and sat back down on the bed.

"Tell me, Yuan. Why do you act before you think?" Kratos asked curiously. I returned my glance upon him and shrugged lightly.

"When I'm upset, I don't care about many things," I admitted, clenching my teeth.

"Then I suppose you don't care about the well-being of your comrades either," Kratos tilted his head.

"Say what!" I felt myself hissing as I grabbed the blanket tightly in my hands from furry.

"You knew that if you put yourself in danger, I would be the one to risk my life as well to save you," He remained firm. Shaking a bit, I shook my head and pretended I could care less.

"You don't have to save me, Kratos. I can take care of myself." I growled.

"If it wasn't for me, you'd be dead," Kratos spoke with a glare across his garnet eyes. Stunned I looked downward to avert his gaze.

"I'm sorry... but why? Why do you care so much?" It was a question I wanted to ask for awhile. He paused and just stood up and walked towards the door.

"Good night," He spoke as he reached for the doorknob. Stunned, I got up and grabbed him by the shoulder.

"No, wait! Why do you care so much?" I asked. His pulse remained the same as he spoke with his back turned to me.

"That's what friends do. They care for one another's life. That's all. Nothing more nothing less," Kratos spoke, opening the door. Still confused I grabbed his shoulder tighter and bit down on my tongue.

"You really consider a half-elf, like me, a friend," I asked, a little taken back. He turned around and scanned my looks. He seemed as if he wanted to add something, or say something. But to my disappointment he didn't.

"Good night, Yuan," He spoke softly and closed the door and left the room. I stood there and sighed lightly.

"Good night.."

Author's Note:

I hope this didn't disappoint you :( I tried. Anyways, if it did just tackle me with giant apples. The next chapter will be Kratos' reponse to learning Yuan killed Lloyd. I promise. And it will have a flashback of an implied lemon and vile language. I won't tell you the pairing though, cause that'd spoil things. LOL. So I promise two more chapters! Yup yup! And the last chapter won't be a cheesy epilogue, it will be very juicy and detailed, but of course that is two chapters away. Aren't I evil?


	22. Chapter 22: Souls Forever Free

Warnings: This chapter will have a high rating, so please take heed. Cussing, yaoi, and Kranna and Kratos/yuan pairing. So be forewarned. and yes, a strong implied lemon. and Yuan/martel stuff. (not lemon just implied) 

Here we go with the last chapter. It's long, so be warned. I had fun with this :snivel:

* * *

Eternal Souls Chapter  
Twenty-Two: Souls Forever Free  
Dedication: To The One Who Sets My Soul Free

* * *

"I think I'm losing my hearing after these thousands of years because I just heard you say you killed Lloyd?" His face was pale. No signs of the mercenary I loved shown in his eyes. For some reason, his body seemed to becoming duller by the moment, and the usual glow he had about him was fading. The only signs he was still breathing was the occasional lifts of the auburn bangs that lay upon that stern face. Clenching my hands uneasily, I stood my ground and looked him straight in the eye.

"You're not losing your hearing. It's true," He wouldn't understand why I wasn't being sympathetic about this whole situation. My eyes darted from the single flame in the fire, then to Kratos who was as stiff as a board.

"You.." Kratos face didn't show any signs of revilaztion. Not moving, his body began to sway akwardly in position. Stiffly, I tilted my head and bit my bottom lip.

"You don't understand my reasoning on why-" I began but what happened shocked me beyhond belief. As quick as I uttered my sentence, I was body-slammed to the ground, pinned, against my will. Don't get me wrong, I usually enjoy being pinned against the ground, but this was different. Far different. Daring to open my eyes again I gazed up at the face of misery and pain. Death flashed in the mercenary that I used to hold so dear.

"How dare you fucking kill my son!" A dealt was blown to my left cheek. Sure, I deserved that. Either way, I wasn't going to lay around and be dealt my death by this man. Kicking his stomach to push his weight off me, I regained my balance. There he sat, on the ground. Slowly, his left hand reached for his sword. Probably in attempts to kill me no doubt.

"Kratos, listen," No fear was left in my voice. Why have fear about death? All the fear over my lifetime has taken up all I had. So here I stand, with no fear at the moment of disicion, and what could possibly be my final resting place. Blood running ice cold, I could only keep my stare at Kratos and await a reply.

"What excuse is there for killing your best friend's son? Amuse me, Yuan!" He demanded, unsheathing his sword and pointing it dangerously close at me. Shifting positions, I looked at him.

"I was jealous."

"Jealous? Of what? Don't lie to me. You've already done enough of that, you ass," Kratos' eyes grew large with his own fear. His voice however, hid that fear. But after all these years, I could pick up on the small things about Kratos.

"Of you and Anna, alright. It all started when you brought her and Lloyd home.."

* * *

"You're so... good." 

"How long are they going to keep this up?" Passing by the closed door, my heart sank when I heard the familiar whine of the 'human' Kratos called his own. Just hearing those cries, come from someone else Kratos loved was painful enough, but to be subjected to it everyday. Honestly, no on ever has any respect! Damn them all.

Sighing, I passed into the kitchen. Light was passing through the clouds, and the darkness soon began to flee. Glancing over, I noticed the evil of all sins sat inches away from me. His small arms reached for my hair.  
Violently turning at him, I hissed as many offensive words I could muster up.

"Shut up you vile brat. You're just as fucking bad as your ass of parents," My words fell on death ears as a bowl of soup was chucked at my head. Let me tell you, hot soup running down your neck and back isn't very pleasent at all.

"Why you little bitch I out to-" I began and glowered at him. His chuckles contiuned and he banged his fists on the table playfully. Jumping down from seat, he glanced up at me.

"You wook wunny," He giggled.

"If you can't speak, don't!" I hissed angriliy, not in the mood to listen to baby talk. He took no offense, and ran off probably to find the protzoan. Sighing, I grabbed a towl and cleaned off most of the remains of the soup. I wasn't all that happy to begin with, but really what sent me over the deep end was Kratos coming into the room.

"Yuan, you don't look well," His words seemed so sarcastic at the time. I might have been imagning the sarcasim at the moment, but my heart was so filled of discontent for the one I thought I cared about. Glarring at him, I bit my bottom lip.

"Don't look well? Just go back to your fucking sex-slave of a human," I turned my back and walked to my room, and pratically slammed the door.

* * *

"You.. were jealous?" Kratos just starred at me. Looking downward, I watched Kratos drop his sword lightly. Giving a stiff nodd, I sighed as the pain began to slowly come back, one ounce at a time.

"You two never stopped. To be quite honest, I wished I was her everyday," I turned my back. Just speaking this nonsense was making me sick to my stomach.

"But that gave you no right to kill my-" Kratos began, placing a hand on my shoulder as his temper flew again.

"I didn't mean to kill him, Kratos."

"Please enlighten me about this whole ordeal," He was giving me a chance to explain. At last.

"I was at the Toize Mines. My plans were to ambush him and give him a wound to remember. But when I launched my attack, it went estray and hit a support beam. His last words were those of a unforgivable curse. I made it out through transportation, but then this curse followed suit at Altamaria."

"Yuan... you shouldn't have even ambushed him. Why. Why take out the discontent you've kept to yourself on my son! Damn you," Kratos whispered, clenching his fists tightly as tears fell from his face. Gulping, I ran a hand over the ring Kratos had given me. Slowly, I slid it off and held it in my grasp. Lightly, I grabbed Kratos' hand and dropped it in his palm.

"If you want to take it back, I understand. I don't deserve you anyhow," I mutterted. "I didn't deserve Martel either," Looking downward, I turned my back and clenched my closed fists tightly. I kept telling myself to keep a grip. Sure Kratos would understand.. would he?

"Yuan.." I heard my name called out. Turning around, I saw a few glistening tears roll down his face.

"Yes?" I asked nervously.

"Your the last thing I've got. Please don't leave..." He closed his eyes and I could tell desperation looming in his voice. Stunned, I took a step back and starred wide eyed. Was he really going to accept me back. "Take it Yuan. Please!" He dropped the ring on the ground and buried his face into his hands. I was even more stunned by this. Shifting uneasily, I beant over and picked it up.

"Alright," I whispered, putting it back on and whispering into Kratos' ear words of care.

"If you didn't know, Yuan, I was jealous when you were with Martel," His eyes didn't look me straight in the eye. He was nervous, I could tell by his body twitching.

"But Kratos. I didn't think you actually started to like me until after her death," I stutterted.

"I couldn't tell my best friend I was in love with him when he was engaded, could I?" It was a more of a whimper. Tilting my head, I grasped him tightly in my arms and whispered softly.

"I'm sorry.About everything I've done to you, Kratos. I'm so sorry," He was so forgiving, and I was grateful. I couldn't bare to think about life without him.

"I think the only way to break your curse is to apologize to Lloyd's grave. For all the years of hatred you showed towards him. I won't be able to fully forgive you until you do that," Kratos told me strongly.

"Alright.. I will. And I'll mean it," I nodded sternly.

* * *

"I'm sorry..."

Dark tress silhouetted the secluded spot where Lloyd claimed as his final resting spot. Each tree seemed to bend in the direction towards his grave, as if hit by a invincible storm. A vast silence reigned over the barren land. The land itself was cut off, and many humans did not know about it. Basically, this was in the middle of nowhere. And what I've heard from Kratos, this was what Lloyd wanted. A place for only those who knew of his existence to come and mourn him.

Lowering my head, in a melancholy way, I let the stray strands of aqua hair fall down to my shoulders. My emerald eyes scanned the polished stone. Carved into it was the name 'Lloyd Irving' and an edict was written in a swirling writing. Not reading it, the only other thoughts to flash through my mind were flashbacks. Deadly ones that consisted of Lloyd, and the attempts I made to murder him. And in the end, I caused death to him. Wincing slightly, I bit down on my bottom lip, thinking about what to say. I was doing this for Kratos, and myself. I couldn't go along with my life if the one I loved, hated me. It made absolute no sense. Another point, I'd do anything for Kratos, and I have done everything in my power to please him. So why deny such a simple request when he could have wished death upon me.

Stuttering, I continued to think of words to say. The gentle breeze caused my cape to gently flap backwards. I wasn't too concerned about that at this moment. Slowly, I reached into the ebony cape pocket and took out a small box. The contents, I only knew. I felt Kratos' gaze fall upon me and the box. When someone is starring at you, you can feel it. My stomach lurched and I slowly opened the box. Inside was a bracelet. Years of decay and rust had taken it's toll on it, and it's once brilliant shine was no more, though signs of it's vibrant pass were still evident.

"This...," I cleared my throat and thought of the right words to say this. "This was your mother's." I simply stated. Behind me, I heard Kratos' breath quicken. I wasn't sure if it was from anger, shock, or disappointment but that wasn't important. Lips quivering, I continued. "I found this at the spot were she was slain. I held onto it, hoping to give it to you or your father when the time presented itself. So, I guess, the time is now." Just thinking about all the years of bitterness in my past sent sparks of confusion through me. I had really changed. I wasn't the same Yuan from a few years ago. "So I'm sorry Lloyd," I closed my eyes and just sat there, as the wind blew my strands into my face repeatedly.

"Yuan..." I heard Kratos speak from behind. Twitching my left ear to listen to his words, I felt the strong force of his hand on my shoulder. Soft smiles approached my lips, and I knew Kratos had really forgiven me. True, I resented the fact Kratos loved someone as much as me, and I will never forget that hatred, but you can't take out past sins on the present and effects someone's future. If that makes any sense. I continued to sit there, just taking in the scene. "You're such an idiot." Kratos spoke. At first I was stunned, but I heard a whimper in his voice as he backwards hugged me.

"Well, you're a bigger idiot for falling in love with me," I declared, turning around slightly, so I was looking him in the eye. I helped him stand up alongside me so the discomfort didn't effect us. Those strong ruby eyes searched my expression with any sarcasm. I hoped all he found was good intentions, because that was all that was left. Unexpectedly, a melted smile rolled across his facial features and he embraced tightly, holding me close to him. I felt a few of his wet tears fall upon my shoulders. Tilting my head, I let go slightly so we were face to face, a few inches apart. "You going to be all right, Krattie." The nickname slipped. You know how things slip. Like what you're getting your friend for Christmas, for example.

"Krattie?" A grin was shown beneath the tears falling from his face. I felt myself turn as dark as a tomato. Oh great, something to hang above my head. Oddly, I smiled back and leisurely shook my head at him. "Then Krattie, it is," He snickered kindly when he spoke of his nickname. I turned around and looked back at Lloyd's grave. Just being here was still discomforting. Especially because of my sins towards him.

"You want to head back now?" I asked innocently.

"Yes. Just give me a few moments to recollect my thoughts," Kratos replied profoundly.

"Ok, I'll be at the Rheairds."

I began to walk out of the forest but stopped. Instead of doing as I was going to, I stopped at a tree a few leaps away from the gravesite. Curiosity had gotten the best of me, as I began to watch Kratos. At first he was just standing there, but then he leaned back down and ran a gloved hand across the smoothed stone. I couldn't tell his exact facial expression from this distance, but he seemed deep in thought. Seemed is the key word, bear in mind.

"Anna, please watch over our son in heaven," I heard him whisper. Lightly, I turned around and left Kratos to himself. Watching him wasn't that respectful. I made my way to the Rheaird and when I arrived, I just sat there.

These were the times were you realized how valuable life was, and just how important the one you love truly is. I wouldn't trade my past for anything, if It wasn't for Kratos' and Martel's love over the years, I wouldn't still be here. Starring up at the vacant beautiful sky above me, I began to ponder what would have happened if we didn't stop the Kharlan War. If the village didn't ban us from the village. I'd never meet the love of my life. Kratos...

In addition to that, I doubted Kratos would have ever found Anna. And Cruxis would have never been created. Maybe this was all for the best. If the war didn't end, the world would still be in turmoil. So fate is at work. Or I suppose. Slowly, the thoughts of Kratos and I drifted back into my mind. The ring. I ran a finger across the ring and just the feel of the smooth silver made me smile contently. He loved me, and didn't care what others thought. So pure. So loving.

"Yuan, are you day dreaming again?"

Kratos' voice snapped me out of my fantasies about 'other things', and I shook my head slightly. Looking at him coming up onto the clearing, I could only grin and give a small nod. The way he walked, everything about him was addicting. Placing my hands into the pockets of my cloak, I awaited for him to draw nearer to talk. Once he did, I decided to answer his question.

"Day Dreaming? Of course, a dream isn't a dream without you..." I spoke distant minded. He stopped at his Rheaird and looked at me with a little shock. I doubt he expected me to say something like. Sure we loved each other very much, but really, I never came out and said things like that. I was always afraid to be persecuted for being gay, but I've come to realize I am not 'gay', seeing I was with Martel, and that no other men interest me. Kratos is just the one for me, no matter what gender. And besides, if there was a love condition such as straight, gay, etc. mine would be Kratos. Such a befitting label.

"Heh, nice thoughts you have there, my amour," Kratos murmured softly to me.

"You know, you can just come out and say it," I replied, with a slight snicker.

"Oh, I know that. But it feels more, what's the word, seductive when I speak in circles," His grin went from ear to ear, and it seemed every part of his body was glowing. I starred at him for a few moments and was stunned when he leaped upon his Rheaird and took off in the air rapdily. "See you at the house, Yuie." He snickered from above and took off.

"He's going to pay," I grinned mischievously. My kind of payment? Something that starts in the mind and ends with the body. Easy enough, eh? When I arrived back at the house, it seemed Kratos wasn't here yet. Shrugging it off, I stepped inside and glanced around. The smell of home, and love. Dropping the cloak, I walked around to the kitchen in my usual clothing. Bright beams of the setting sun shone from the window panes and cast an eerie look upon the kitchen. I could care less about that.

"Kratos, are you here yet?" I asked, taking a cup of water. No response. Bwagh, that man was always off somewhere.

Holding the cup in my hand, I walked up the stairs to my room slowly. Still, I wasn't used to the fact of the non squeaky stairs. Each step I took, I wondered what I was going to do while I awaited Kratos' arrival. Possibly start a journal about our journey together? Or maybe start some cheesy poetry I could use to woo Kratos. A slight laugh passed me as I neared the stop. Yea right, there was no way you'd get me, of all people, to write poetry!

I never really was the poetry person. Never did I write a love poem to anyone, and I found no reason to. So seeing me write a poem will surely be the dawning of the end of the world, let me tell you that. Sighing, I continued down the hall to my room. Taking a sip of water, I gently pushed my door open into my room. You can say I'm blind, I don't mind. But I honestly did notice that Kratos standing near the entrance. It wasn't really in my view, so I didn't notice. I sat down on my writing desk and set down the cup. But what to do.

I then felt hands massage my shoulders. Stunned, my body became tense, but then the familiar motion of Kratos' hands came to mind. A hum escaped my lips as I pretended not to notice Kratos was here.

"I wonder when Kratos will get back," I spoke, trying not to laugh. Instantly, Kratos' hands stopped their work. I knew he wasn't mad, because of what he did next. I felt him grab me and spin me around in the chair so I was starring at him. Being the idiot I am, I snickered and looked confused. "Do you know where Kratos is?" I asked innocently.

"You are such an ass sometimes," Kratos joked, rolling his eyes and meshed our lips together in a chaste kiss. Deepening the kiss, I leaned forward and arose to my feet. "Such an ass, but yet such a good kisser," He spoke as he took a breath, and looked at me with a bright smile.

"I shouldn't be cheating on Kratos like this," I continued to joke. A snort was heard from Kratos as he grabbed my hands tightly and smiled.

"You're such an idiot.." He began. "Oh, Kratos won't know, Yuie. Let it be our little secret. Let's see what else you're good for," Kratos spoke with a flicker of amusement passing his lips.

"Yes, let it be our little secret, Mr. mysterious," I was trying not to crack up. How could we be acting like such goof balls at such a seductive time like this? Well, I guess that's just our way.

"Mr. Mysterious, I like that. Then instead of Yuie, I have the right to call you Mr. Enticing," Kratos spoke, taking his hand back to cover his mouth from laughing. Honestly, where did Kratos come up with that! How bizarre. But then again, it was hilarious beyond belief.

"Befitting, isn't it," I continued to play along. Kratos nodded and shrugged.

"You know me, I like to live on the edge," He spoke, addressing the situation again as he placed a sloppy kiss upon my lips then trailing down my neck. Slowly undoing his clothing, I glanced up at his trailing glances across my body.

"So, on the edge. Are you ready for the enticement of Mr. Enticing," I cracked up mid-way through the sentence and clutched my side laughing. Kratos, however, grabbed me tightly and whispered in my ear.

"Always ready, Yuan," He spoke in my ear softly.

"Glad to hear it, Kratos," I replied in a whisper as we continued our array of love-making.

You started out as a simple friend

But that's not how it ends

You're love is something that allures me

Something you can feel but not see

That's what love is.

A true feeling of passion towards someone

The desire for that special loved one.

Every time your body touches mine

It proves as just another sign

That we were made to be

And you're the piece of the puzzle that finally completes me.

I love you, Kratos Aurion

My love, my eternal soul.

* * *

AN:

TADA! HAPPY ENDING! How did you like it? hehe Yuan said he'd never write a poem, but he did. That's how much he loves Kratos. I hope this chapter didn't disappoint. I really hope you liked the finale. And so ends my kratos/yuan story. I hoped you all liked it. : few random people start attacking me with foaming mouths : Whoah! I said it's over! DEAL WITH IT :runs away: Maybe I'll write K/Y oneshots for special ocassions. Or if you have any story ideas, feel free to share them. I am here to serve your fanfic needs. heh!


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